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Tracks of the week: April 23rd

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Daft Punk – Get Lucky feat. Pharrell & Nile Rodgers

New Daft Punk! Unless you’re blind, deaf and your out-of-college accommodation is underneath the Magdalen bridge you’ve probably already heard it. And you’ll most likely be hearing it all summer. WHICH IS FINE BY ME.

 

Savages – Shut Up

So post-punk trio Savages have released a new video in light of their upcoming debut, but do yourself a favour, and skip to around a minute in – they’ve only gone and got a bloody manifesto. Why do people keep on doing that? It’s like they want to sound like grads. That said, they’re performing live with Bo Ningen on the 29th May at the Red Gallery in East London, which might just be the best gig you’ve ever been to.

 

Kirin J Callinan – Embracism

Kirin J Callinan is an Aussie, but that’s pretty much all I know about him. Following in the (pretty fucking huge) footsteps of Nick Cave and Rowland S Howard, he’s bringing gothy Australian singer-songwriters into the 21st century, with some eerie post-industrial synths and lyrics that mention the internet. Very dark, very raw. I can only find one other song by him, but it’s just as good and comes with equally creepy visuals.

 

Ian Isiah – M1NDFVCK

This one has nipples in the video so don’t watch it if you’re somewhere where nipples are frowned upon. Ian Isiah dishes out some glitchy R&B whilst getting sexy with performance artist Boychild and whispering “mindfuck” again and again. Take that, heteronormativity. Obviously a big name in the NY mafia with appearances from Boychild and the Hood By Air logo plastered all over the video, the hype game is strong with this one. I dig it.

 

Key Nyata – Thx Gvrdxxn (Let a Nigga Smoke)

So it was 4/20 the other day, and Key Nyata’s cooked up the soundtrack to your skunk-induced psychosis. Part of Raider Klan along with Spaceghostpurrp, Ethelwulf and Denzel Curry, expect a lot of pitched-down vocals, screwed production, and of course the compulsory weed hook. I’d probably steer clear if you’re the kind of person that ends up spending your bop at the bottom of a k-hole panicking about that 30% you got in collections, cos this one might hit home a little too hard.

 

DJ Rashad – I Don’t Give a Fuck

With releases from both DJ Rashad and RP Boo, it’s been a big week for footwork. Now I may not have got the memo explaining why footwork is the shit whilst shuffling is just shit, but there’s no doubt its ADHD rhythm is a breath of fresh air in a dance music scene saturated with shite house that somehow manages to be both bland and Eurotrashy. DJ Rashad does what he does, chopping up bleeps to sound like the ECG of a hummingbird with a heart murmur, and whilst Outlook won’t be moving from Croatia to Chicago anytime soon, Rashad still gets props from, uh, the Cherwell.

Confessions of a Hypochondriac

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 As a dedicated hypochondriac, there is no point at which I would not consider calling the doctor. What for most people is a season hazard or a sign of lack of sleep would have me dialing 999. The slightest headache or wave of nausea are an immediate sign of impending doom, gloom or death.

As a tragic consequence of this, my internet history is essentially an endless and lists of NHS summative information articles. When it gets really bad, sensationalist sites such as netdoctor creep closer to the top of the list. These sites gen­erally feed my fears and act as a kind of source of addiction, just like any pill that I’ve taken – which was no doubt prescribed as a placebo in the first place. The pills may well help to completely cure what was originally thought to be cancer but what was in reality a product of excessive eating, drinking or worrying. But cure is a strong word.

According to NHS statistics, this “health anxiety” take up approximately £2 billion of UK health spending per annum alone. It’s worse over the pond: our paranoid American friends spend around $20 billion every year on unneces­sary medical examinations. For myself and all my kind, I can only apologise.

It gets worse. Compare £2 billion with the £9.4 billion that the UK spends on cancer in 2011, both from private and public funds. Hypochondria­sis, the medical term for a disease most people roll their eyes at, accounts for more than a fifth of that spent on Cancer. We are a paranoid force to be reckoned with. Perhaps one could still ar­gue that it is a ridiculous force or an unimpor­tant one, but £2 billion implies it is slightly more than just moany people being silly again.

If you consider that most people who are hy­pochondriacs probably don’t truly realise that they have any anxiety about health and that it, in its most serious form, is linked to anxiety and depression, then it becomes clear that such an issue is in need of legitimate attention. I am confident that had I not written this feature and were instead reading it for the first time, I would stop here and immediately book myself into the counsellor with self-diagnosed bipolar disorder.

Yet self assessment is difficult, especially for someone like me. It was surprising to find, when researching this topic, that the NHS’ guidance on whether you are a hypochondriac or not is quite heavy-going. People are taking this seri­ously, it seems. They do not ask the expected list of questions: “do you sometimes think you’re ill but find out that you’re not?”, “How many times a day do you take your own temperature?”. Instead the six questions, to which you have to answer mostly ‘yes’, ask whether you have been preoccupied with having a serious illness which has lasted at least six months; whether this pre­occupation has distressed you or impacted neg­atively on all areas of your life; whether you felt the need to constantly examine and diagnose yourself; whether you need constant reassur­ance from doctors and close friends and family; whether you are unconvinced by this reassur­ance.

From my strident beginnings as a proud hy­pochondriac, when confront with this terrifying psychological examination. I started to doubt my “dedication”. I even dropped my thermom­eter. Maybe I have a weird and dangerous strain of hypochondria? … And here we are again, right back to the beginning.

The causes of health anxiety are usually linked to childhood. As my father often puts it, “every­thing is rather Freudian”. The illness typically can be attributed to experiencing death or trau­ma in your childhood (no, that’s not my reason), being overly worried about death (again, no), to being exposed to a particular cause of stress (un­likely, to be honest). Either this, or it is linked to depression and anxiety disorder. Maybe I simply just having a “worrier personality”.

Seeing this list, I can’t seem to work mine out – I’m going to put it down to that dangerous de­pressive strain from before.

After identifying whether these could be a reason for such anxiety, the guidance on treat­ing it is psychological. You may find my saying this bizarre, either because it is obvious to you that health anxiety is a mental affliction or you are wondering what happens to the physical aches and pains which usually come as symp­toms of health anxiety and which then serve as a basis for most complaints and night-time web searches.

It is now understood that these are psycho­logically triggered and thus treating the root seems to be treating the problem. CBT (Cogni­tive Behavioural Therapy) is the most common source of therapy as it helps you to find ways to cope with and change your reactions to anx­ious thoughts whilst depending on the reason for such anxiety trauma-focused therapy and psychotherapy are also used. As I said before though, this all sounds a bit serious for our old friend ‘hypochondria’.

However, it is not all doom and gloom: my fa­ther is a stalwart and persistent hypochondri­ac – there are literally boxes of medicine in his house. If you have anything, he knows exactly what you have and supplies a cure. This annoy­ing side-effect of his hypochondria is apparently legitimised by the fact that both his parents were doctors. I have stopped responding with “but you didn’t go through seven years of medi­cal training” because the response is usually more long-winded than worth it. In his case, I’m afraid, it is serious – you cannot see him without some discussion of his recent visit to the nutri­tionist/dermatologist/insert any other medi­cal professional. However, the anxiety he has over his health, which he denies point blank of course, has finally helped him. He had a huge ac­cident while skiing this Easter breaking three ribs, 2 vertebrae and fracturing part of his pel­vis.

One might joke that it’s something of a hypo­chondriac’s dream, but I think it’s now clear that this is not the case and the matter is much more serious.

The hypochondriac that he is forced us further than the sensible parent ever goes: we wear hel­mets, get adequate insurance, and don’t drink when skiing for fear of any serious accident, which oddly he didn’t anticipate happening to himself. This was a semi-saving grace – he is not brain-dead, dead nor paralysed. From all the worrying that my father has done and all the ail­ments he has had, the only advice I can give you that helped him is this: always wear a helmet. I like to think that his hypochondria helped his accident by causing him to take precautions, but I’m not sure the science is linked.

It turns out that I am not the complete mad­woman that I suspect I was. Hypochondria may not have serious medical implications upon my body, but it does untold damage upon the mind. The figures cannot be that wrong, and they eye-rolling has got to stop. Where does one self-reg­ulate?

Having written this, almost in spite of myself I swore to change my ways and learn when I am ill and when I am just panicking. To cap it all I even cancelled an appointment with my GP over some ailment or other, finally realising that I am ridiculous and that said ailment was a figment of my imagination. “I will never waste their time or money again, other people need it more”, I prom­ised as I happily sipped my herbal tea, confident in its healing properties and ability to extend my life… Then I felt a wave of nausea and quickly considered calling the doctor back tomorrow, or even today, God help him. Either way, I won’t stay away for long, because, real or not, and no mat­ter what the general opinion towards it is, health anxiety is a force to be reckoned with. The NHS statistics speak for themselves.

 

A Darker Shade of Brown

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When I phone Derren Brown, I’ve just watched him persuade someone that they’ve witnessed a zombie apocalypse. Derren’s shows have convinced people to rob banks and attempt the assassination of Stephen Fry.

I assume our conversation will be full of subliminal attempts to warp my brain, and so I am somewhat apprehensive, scared even at the start of our interview. Yet Derren Brown is more restrained than sinister – if he wasn’t renowned for manipulating minds, I’d assume he was an accountant.

Derren is adamant that he doesn’t constantly hypnotise interviewers. I ask whether he’s tempted to use his skills off-stage. “For evil?” he laughs. “Maybe, not anymore. I feel like I’ve grown out of that. When I was young, I was always having to do magic tricks to impress people, because I didn’t really know how to have a normal conversation…it was sort of a bit pathetic.”

Derren projects none of the showmanship of his performances. His relationship with magic began due to social insecurity, not the desire to perform grandiose television stunts. Magic is “quite a childish urge.” He believes confidence is rare among magicians. “It’s the quickest route to impressing people, if you don’t feel very impressive, definitely. A lot of kids, maybe who aren’t very self-confident, tend to go through a magic phase and you tend to grow out of it… I would have definitely stopped it by now; it was only because I could find a way with the TV, that I could make it something a bit more grown up, that kept it going.”

Derren’s childhood desire for validation has been superseded by an interest in how his skills affect other people. “Otherwise you just get sick of magicians, you find them cool for a couple of years and then you sense that they’re just posturing – that it’s all a bit silly. They go out of favour.” Nowadays, he sees his work in more professional terms; he isn’t a mind reader off stage. “I don’t think of it or play up to it, but I’ve got a friend who said that when he first knew me, he was convinced I was just doing stuff all the time and everything I said was some calculated piece of influence, which wasn’t the case at all.”

Derren got into magic while studying Law and German at Bristol University, when his two main characteristics were kleptomania and evangelical Christianity. He is now famous for his blend of pop-psychology and magic. After his show Mind Control in 2000, he became known for playing Russian roulette and predicting lottery numbers live on air. His recent shows are more documentary, often assessing the psychological basis of religion. In 2012, he  converted an atheist to Christianity in fifteen minutes.

Having lost faith in his twenties, Derren is ambivalent towards religion. He once described The God Delusion as his “favourite book”, but now he’s more reserved. “I was a Christian for many years, and now I’m not; I am very aware that people spend a lot of time thinking about how it is that we end up believing in things… People spend their lives debunking that, and whilst I share their views, that can be fairly joyless. There are ways of getting that message out without it seeming belligerent.”

In one recent show, Fear and Faith, Derren emphasised his respect for individuals’ faiths. Investigating the placebo effect, he said religion “doesn’t have to be foolish”, and beliefs “are clearly very real to the people who hold them.” Today he seems warier. He differentiates between private belief, and “the nasty end of the wedge. What faith in things, as opposed to thought, can lead to. Once you get into the faith that your idea is the correct idea, there’s a clear logical pathway to intolerance and a feeling of invincibility… Once you believe that you’re a martyr, and you’re prepared to sacrifice yourself for it, you’ve created this perfect system that doesn’t feel like it can go anywhere good.”

He compares religious belief with psychics. “I think a lot of it’s very ugly and that intellectual bravery is important…but there will people who’ll go to psychics and take great comfort in it, and not get addicted to it, and maybe don’t really believe it’s true… It would be odd to say that’s wrong and needs to be taken away from them. There are plenty of grey areas.”

Derren’s relationship with the supernatural is more complex than most ‘mind-readers’. I question why he never professed to be psychic. “There are plenty of people who do that, who have come from the world of showbiz and do it knowingly, seeing it sells well. But you’ve got to live with that. That’s your life. And I remember early on in my career thinking, what do people like Uri Geller tell their kids?… It’s a difficult line to tread between being honest enough but also being entertaining and maintaining some mystery.”

In recent years, Derren has emphasised the reasoning behind his beliefs. With the exception of Apocalypse, in which he convinced someone that Britain had been wiped off the map in a meteor strike, he’s dropped most of the grandeur of his early career. He tells me that Infamous, his new stage show, is “a bit more stripped down than previous shows”.

Happy to deflate the mystery of his performances, he jokes about on-stage disasters. “There was one guy in Belfast a few years ago who got up on stage and he just started throwing up, full on projectile vomiting over me, the other participants over the stage, and all over the front row. It just didn’t stop; he had to be sent back down and he was throwing up all over the ushers. You have to make that decision – is it okay to carry on?”

His self-deprecation distinguishes Derren from other psychics. He thinks we’re all familiar with his methods. “It works in the same way that, if you break up with somebody – and as you’re feeling terrible – there’s a song on the radio, years later, whenever you hear that song, you’ll feel terrible. We’ve all experienced that sort of thing… It’s perfectly ordinary processes I’m using; I’m just putting them into practice in a slightly different way.”

He shies away from the vocabulary of traditional magicians. Hypnosis is “a slightly misleading idea”, based on suggestibility. “We’re suggestible in some situations and not in others. If we’re trying to achieve something that we want for ourselves, if we’re going to see a hypnotherapist to give up smoking – that’s very different to some guy on stage who’s trying to make you dance around and think you’re a ballerina. It all depends on context.”

When I wonder about the use of these techniques in advertising, he’s surprised at my naivety. “Oh yeah, that’s what the business is! It’s not necessarily sinister…Politicians use it, speech writers know about it… We’re all cynical about it, we all sniff at adverts for KFC or whatever. Which is fine until we’re starving hungry out in the high street and faced with KFC or another company we’ve never heard of, and we all go for KFC. We’re all susceptible to it at some level.”

Derren’s reasoned approach makes you feel educated about irrationality, not misled by cheap illusions. Sometimes his techniques seem inhumane: shock-entertainment cloaked by a veneer of science. Yet his motivation by rationalism is genuine. At the end of the interview, I say “break a leg” for his stage show that night. “No, no, ‘good luck’ is fine,” he says. “I’m not superstitious.”

 

 

Derren Brown is performing his new show, Infamous, at The New Theatre on 22nd-27th April

Aspects of Culture: Online Culture

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“Aspects of Culture” is a new semi-regular feature that examines what culture is and what it means to people from different walks of life. This week, dedicated vlogger Megan Birch examines the concept of internet culture.

If you’re looking for an unbiased take on the internet, I’m afraid you won’t find it here. I am very much pro-internet, and pro-YouTube in particular. But first a question: hipster, fangirl, social justice warrior or troll – which are you?

A hipster posts pictures of their artfully arranged salad on Instagram with equally arty filters applied, and only likes something if it’s not mainstream. A fangirl (or more rarely fanboy) is obsessively enthusiastic about their fandoms, writes almost exclusively in capslock, and cannot contain their “feels”. An SJW will call you out on your sexist/racist/homophobic/transphobic idiocy, and they will do it with such passion as to inspire awe in the casual liberal. Finally, a troll will criticise everything that any of the above do, and the more personal the comment the better.

Personally, I’m a social justice fangirl. My blog is full of GIFs of Doctor Who and Harry Potter, but these are interspersed with long and rambling blogs on feminism and LGBTQ issues. I don’t associate with many hipsters but I’ve definitely been a victim of trolls, who have pestered me with very personal questions about my sexuality, embedded my G-rated videos on websites with names like “kinkyforums.com”, and called me “the most disturbing thing I have ever seen on the internet.” To be honest, that’s either a masterful troll or someone who hasn’t spent very much time online.

Yes, the internet can be a very scary place. But on the other hand, it can be the most supportive environment you’ll ever find.

One of the most underrated aspects of the internet is the sense of community it can foster in those who don’t necessarily have much support IRL (that’s “in real life” for the less web-savvy). One frequently cited example is Nerdfighteria, the community that has built up around the YouTube videos made by the vlogbrothers, John and Hank Green. John is an award-winning Young Adult novelist and Hank runs the environmental blog EcoGeek, but they are perhaps most beloved for their other job as professional video bloggers (or vloggers) watched by one million subscribers worldwide, many of whom identify as “nerdfighters” and seek to “reduce worldsuck”. To this end, the community has lent over $2 million to entrepreneurs in developing countries via kiva.org and raised over $500,000 for charity last December via the Project For Awesome, all whilst writing songs about Doctor Who on the ukulele, debating the viability of the penny, and doing their happy dances.

Nerdfighter culture is a mixture of the whimsical, the geeky, and the genuinely charitable, and it is arguably fairly emblematic of a much larger online community. Only online are nerds so free to geek out about their favourite media, social justice warriors so able to engage in passionate and constructive discussions about prejudice and hardship, and everyone so encouraged to get involved via blogs, tweets, videos and comments.

This is where YouTube and online culture in general have a one-up on traditional media. “If TV is a monologue, YouTube is a conversation,” says Benjamin Cook in his online documentary Becoming YouTube, a point proven rather dramatically a few weeks later when his episode “Girls on YouTube” sparked a fierce discussion spanning hundreds of videos and thousands of comments. Online, everyone has a voice.

There is also a strong emphasis on education on YouTube which can get lost in mainstream media amongst videos exhibiting cats on skateboards or surprisingly successful musicians. Channels such as TheBrainScoop, a cheerful series on zoology and taxidermy, or ViHart’s creative videos on maths encourage viewers to seek out educational material, and the enthusiasm surrounding such projects is sometimes hard to believe; TheBrainScoop is funded almost entirely by donations.

I have a pet theory about the internet: it slightly exaggerates everything. On the internet, you are free to make hateful comments behind a comforting veil of anonymity, but you’re also free to reach out to whomever you please, to share your love of creative content and its creators, to find a community, a teacher, or even an audience, and to fight for your own rights and those of others. Online culture gives everyone a chance to create, to connect with whomever they want, and to decide who they want to be, regardless of where and how they have grown up. It’s not necessarily an equal chance, and perhaps the egalitarianism of the internet is overstated given its ever-growing internal celebrity culture, but it does give everyone a chance to speak.

I’ve suffered at the keyboards of trolls. But I will tweet to the death for their right to criticise me.

Megan Birch can be found on Twitter @MegBirch, on Tumblr at nutmegbirch.tumblr.com, and on YouTube at youtube.com/thesinginggirl.

L.A. Confidential

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CLOTHES  Blue brocade dress, Topshop; Gold wedge sandals, Topshop; Pearls, models own; Blue ’50s inspired spot dress, Betsey Johnson; Flower hair slide, stylist’s own; White platform wedges, Alice + Olivia; White lace crop top, Topshop; Baby blue silk shorts, Alice + Olivia; Heart necklace, Tiffany & co.; White platform wedges, Alice + Olivia (as before); Deep blue cross chiffon dress, BCBG Max Azria; Sunglasses, ASOS; Gold wedge sandals, Topshop (as before)

MODEL Abbi Wong
STYLIST & PHOTOGRAPHER Tamison O’Connor

 

 

A View From the Pidge: Trinity ’13

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The BBC are currently reporting that the individuals suspected of carrying out the atrocities in Woolwich have been ‘known’ to the security services for some time. This is often reported in the aftermath of such heinous events, and I can see why. The implication of this is that the event in question might have been avoided had the security services been more competent. But to me this seems both horribly tasteless and redolent of staggering ingratitude. The anonymity of the various agencies that safeguard both British subjects and resident foreign nationals makes them an easy target for the press and Parliament; it is fatuously easy to publicly criticise those whose job makes it impossible for them to publicly respond. We have, quite literally, not a blind clue as to what informs or influences the decisions that those who work in those agencies make; nor the sacrifices that they make; nor the responsibilities that they bear; nor the guilt that they must undoubtedly feel when bastards like those who committed this atrocity slip through the net. I’d imagine there’s going to be a lot of criticism of the security services over the coming days. On the offchance that anyone from one of those agencies happens to be reading this, ignore it; we, the public, don’t know half as much as we think we do, and if we did, we’d be rather more grateful than we are. A, 23/05/2013, 2.40pm

The Woolwich killing is gruesome, grotesque and grim. Basically, think of any negative adjective: it will apply pretty well to what happened yesterday. It’s difficult to say anything about this tragedy without sounding impossibly trite. But here goes: the two poles of human behaviour met yesterday. The brutal murderers were at one end. But at the other end was Ingrid Loyau-Kennett. She was not a mere passer-by. She was on a bus and, seeing a man lying wounded in the road, her natural instinct was to get off the bus and go to help. There will have been dozens of people on that bus. Loyau-Kennett was the only one who decided to, as it were, walk into the line of fire. Why? Because she had had elementary first-aid training as a Brownie leader. As she tended to the body, a man wielding a meat cleaver appeared by her. She happily nattered to him, and his partner, to keep them occupied, until the police arrived, because  “I could speak to him and he wanted to speak and that’s what we did.” David Cameron has been saying, as many leaders do after incidents like this, that the best way to respond to terror is to live life as normal. Quite right. But perhaps, in addition, we can all try and be a bit nicer, a bit gentler, a bit better: a bit more like Ingrid Loyau-Kennett. H, 23/5/13, 11.30am

The whole Europe Question is really blowing up, and everyone in politics-and-media-land seems to be battling for the position of appearing to be ’on the side of the people’ in one form or another. Only one point really – appearing to be so, and actually being so, are often different things. Sometimes they’re the same, but sometimes they really are mutually antagonistic. So don’t believe what you read in the papers and, for God’s sake, when the inevitable referendum arrives don’t vote to exit the institution just about keeping Europe from plunging once more into financial crisis. It’s really very important to everyone on the planet that stability is preserved, and that populists are ignored.

One other thing – Henry writes below of all the radical and transformative things that New Labour did that he approves of, and wonders how anyone could not remember this period with fondness. It seems to me that ‘transformative’ is not a synonym for ‘good’. Sure, they did some excellent, liberal, progressive things; but the ban on fox hunting was brazenly arrogant and populist metropolitan meddling, public spending on overseas aid is something which many disagree with (not I, but certainly an awful lot of low-paid and hard-working people, who the Labour Party is ostensibly supposed to represent) and devolution has set the wheels in motion for the eventual dissolution of the country. Foreign wars, the culture of spin, stuffing the upper house with decidedly suspect donors, a domineering executive which sidelined the legislature – such rosy, halcyon days. A, 13/5/13, 3.30pm

The motion at the Union on Thursday was “This house remembers New Labour fondly”. To me, this seems pretty uncontroversial: given what preceded and followed it, who but the most miserable and old-fashioned right-winger (Peter Hitchens, basically) could fail to remember the period with happiness? Most of the arguments made against the motion (which, disappointingly and unsurprisingly, fell) either made the point that New Labour did not go far enough in what it did or that it did not do enough. To which my response is: the national minimum wage, the conclusion of the Northern Ireland peace process, Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish devolution, a doubling of per capita funding of state education, 85,000 more nurses, 32,000 more doctors, city-wide government restored in London after its abolition by Thatcher, the revocation of Section 28, the introduction of civil partnerships, a ban on fox hunting, a doubling of the overseas aid budget, Sure Start. Each of the members of that list is, in its own right, remarkable. Together, they forge a set of policies as radical and transformative as Thatcher’s. And it is surely in the transformation of British society that New Labour’s real success lies. The Thatcher quote that her greatest legacy was New Labour is apocryphal and trite. But surely the most significant result of the transformation of British society engineered by New Labour is a Conservative Party that not only agrees that Section 28 was regressive and homophobic, but also created legislation to introduce gay marriage; a Conservative Party that supports the national mimum wage that it had said would ravage the labour market; a Conservative Party which will not reverse the ban on fox hunting; a Conservative Party committed to overseas aid. As I watched Ken Livingstone (a man whose job was created by New Labour) tearing into Blair and Brown at the Union on Thursday, I wondered what more some people expect a Labour prime minister to have done. H, 13/5/13, 12.15pm

I’ve just finished reading Andrew Adonis’ blow-by-blow account of the coalition negotations following the 2010 general election, 5 Days in May. If you’re as much of a loser as me, you will love it. It reads more like a fictional political thriller than anything else. But it also revealed what I think is the most important drawback of coalitional governments, which is that they are fundamentally anti-democratic. As Adonis tells it, Labour was willing to offer all manner of things to the Lib Dems in the negotiations: AV (without a referendum), an entirely elected House of Lords, four-year fixed-term parliaments, caps on party funding, a statutory register of lobbyists, the scrapping of ID cards and the National Identity Register – all these and more are in the draft coalition agreement between the Lib Dems and Labour that is appended to the book. I support some of these policies, but they were not policies that somebody voting Labour on May 6th would have expected to see supported by Labour on May 10th. The smoke filled room does not have the same legitimacy as a general election, which is why it is so infuriating when Cameron and Clegg (as they regularly do) justify a policy by exclaiming: “It was in the coalition agreement!” That said, I suspect, with support for the two main parties declining, that we are in for a prolonged period of negotiations of this ilk. The lesson: pay no attention to the parties’ manifestos in 2015. But then of course nobody does anyway.

On a side point, I was particularly amused to read that one concession foisted on Labour by the Lib Dems was “a commitment not to raise the cap on tuiton fees”. H, 7/5/13, 1.30pm 

I sense something of a spat brewing. Henry, intelligent, knowledgeable and all-round nice guy, believes I am wrong to argue that Thursday’s elections don’t matter. Well I’m not entirely sure I said that, but do let me clarify and say that they do, though not in the way that Henry suggests. The news that councillors ‘do stuff’ it not, I must say, even for an English student from the bourgeois climes of southern Gloucestershire, a revelation. The news that elections determine what it is that councillors do, frankly, is. I think most people expect certain things from their local politicians; that they care about the area, they know what’s best for the people there and that they’re willing to help with reasonable requests that their voters have. What I regard as witheringly fatuous is the notion that these qualities are what is rewarded in elections. People vote based on the efficacy of the political marketing, their perception of the government in charge and yes, to an extent, on the platform of the local parties. But it’s just wrong to say that ‘council elections are about local issues’ as though this settles the matter, because it doesn’t. They’re about national ones too. Which is why the parties based in Westminster care – why the ‘faceless careerists’ (not my words) that dwell therein are driven to godforsaken places all over the country to smile, play football, chow down on sausage rolls and pretend they give a stuff about whether or not the locals have their swimming pool closed. Because if these elections didn’t matter nationally, there’s no way on God’s earth you’d get the Cabinet to traipse round Daventry with rictus grins plastered onto their faces like something dug up from one of the plague pits in Prague; nor Harriet Harman to visit Essex, or Ed Miliband to go to Doncaster. The next time the well-meaning quasi-Messiah standing for election writes on a leaflet that they just ‘want to make a difference,’ by all means believe them – and then bin it, go volunteer in a charity shop, apply for an allotment and join a book group. Because it’s by doing this, rather than by throwing an electoral bone to the carrion crows of Westminster, that places are made pleasant and ‘stuff’ is done. A, 30/04/2013, 9.00 pm

Adam, my estimable colleague, is wrong (see below). He’s not wrong that apathy is a democratic act, although I’m not sure that anybody is denying that. He’s wrong that Thursday’s local elections don’t matter. Actually, they matter quite a lot. Councillors sort out potholes. Councillors sort out schools. Councillors deal with the Port Meadow saga. Councillors decide whether your college can build a new conference centre/cash cow. Councillors do stuff. In fact, they probably do more that affects you directly than your MP, and certainly more than your MEPs. That is why these elections matter. By all means be apathetic about national politics, but nobody is genuinely apathetic about local issues, and council elections are about local issues: councillors do not stand on national platforms. These elections are not about austerity versus fiscal stimulus, but local issues. Nor are the candidates faceless careerists, as Adam suggests. The councillor’s salary is not great. They have day jobs, too. They stand to represent their area, because they want to make a difference. Is that not the precise opposite of what is taken to be so wrong with national politics today? So read the “polaroids of the visages of sundry well-meaning individuals gurning into the lens underneath suitably catchy slogans” that are stuffed into your pidge, and be glad that some people care, even if you don’t. H, 29/4/13, 1.40pm

Scraps of paper deposited in my pidge, bearing polaroids of the visages of sundry well-meaning individuals gurning into the lens underneath suitably catchy slogans, inform me that there are elections on Thursday. As a first-year student, I am spared from one of the worst aspects of elections. In the run-up to the point where a minority of people traipse to some dingy voting setup in the nearest church hall, much of the population is subjected to the horror of conversation with one of the unspeakably dreary individuals – individuals whom in normal circumstances would be incapable of mustering the social wherewithal to mutter ‘good morning’ to one of their neighbours – who campaign for one of the various parties of this sceptred isle. Their zeal and fervour grants them the bloody-minded audacity to march up to the houses of complete strangers, cultivate a suitably compassionate manner and, this veneer in place, gently hector said strangers as to why they should vote for one tedious, dead-eyed bore over another. This may sound harsh, but I really do wish that the various parties and campaigners would recognise that apathy is a democratic act – not wanting to listen to their buzzwords and slogans, or read their shoddily produced fragments of election material, is just as much a political act as participating fully in their campaign game. A, 28/04/2013, 12.30pm

David Cameron did a remarkable thing today. He said something that was sensible, considered and right. He said that worries of ‘another Iraq’ are affecting the decision of western countries as to whether to intervene in Syria. I do not profess to have ‘the answer to Syria’. Nor do I even have an opinion on whether we should intervene. Or, more accurately, I have about five diferent opinions every day. So too with Iraq: every time I think about the war, I come up with a different opinion. Obviously, each of them is equally crude. But I don’t think that it should be too controversial to suggest that the Iraq War should play little part in judgements on Syria. Firstly, Iraq and Syria are massively different situations. The Assad regime is crumbling; Hussein was in a position of relative strength. Secondly, and more pertinently, all the faults in the conduct of the Iraq War will have been, or should have been, corrected, particularly the way that intelligence reports are drawn up and acted upon, and the need to plan for the peace as well as the war. All other problems were specific to Iraq, and so any factor influencing governments’ judgements on Syria should be specific to Syria. But even though Cameron said a decent thing, vote Labour on Thursday. If you care. Which you probably don’t. But you should. H, 26/4/13, 6.45pm

So, based on the figures from the last quarter, the United Kingdom has avoided descent into a triple-dip recession. ‘Today’s figures are an encouraging sign the economy is healing,’ said the Chancellor earlier today. Well, if he genuinely finds a growth rate of 0.3% encouraging, my only reaction can be to applaud his manically chirpy and catastrophically sunny outlook on life. No disappointment was expressed, no dissatisfaction as this pathetic rate of economic growth. As far as I can see, this is it, the party’s over, everyone pack up, lower your expectations and pootle on home – the reaction of the Cabinet to what amounts to little more than embarrassing economic stagnation is not anger or shame, but rather palpable, quivering relief. For all their ludicrously macho rhetoric about being ‘radical’ and ‘reforming’ in restoring the country’s finances, the government are being fantastically complacent and lethargic. And in so doing, I think, they write their doom for the next election. A, 24/04/13, 1.30pm

I’ve held off on commenting on the Paris Brown case partly because I was struggling valiantly (and unsuccesfully) not to fail my macroeconomics collection, but mainly because I didn’t know what I thought. We do, after all, all say silly things on social media. Feel free to stalk my Twitter feed for ample evidence. And, like many PPEists, I adore Matt Santos’ defence of politicians being human beings in the West Wing. It sets my heart a-flutter, which is a sure sign that I need to get out more.

But there’s an important point to make: her tweets are genuinely quite disgusting. She says homophobic things (just replace ‘fag’ with ‘black’ or ‘Jew’ if you don’t understand how offensive her tweet was), anti-immigrant things (note, not anti-immigration, OUCA), and says she wants to “cut” people. Basically, she is a nasty, snide young person, appointed to a job to stop young people being nasty and snide. Most importantly, she is old enough to know better. If she doesn’t know better, that’s not because of her age, but because she’s ignorant. And I don’t want the taxpayer to fund ignorance. H, 22/4/13, 10pm

Another glorious endeavour

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“Fortunate” is the word Shaun Evans uses the most during our con­versation. He is an actor with a thriving career and a host of exciting roles in a variety of programmes under his belt – including the lead in Endeav­our. The show is a prequel to Inspec­tor Morse, where he plays the de­tective at the very beginning of his career in the police.

When I ask about how he dealt with taking on such a well-known role, he says that he is excited by any new venture he is offered.

Evans chose not to base his Morse on the iconic portrayal by the late John Thaw as he believes that the character would have been different in his younger life, and didn’t want to cement his own performance in how Morse seemed in the latter stag­es of his career.

“I didn’t think it would be useful to watch any of the things which had gone before, so I just worked with what I had in front of me […]I looked at the scripts, and I read through some of the books as well.”

As Endeavour is set in the heart of Oxford, I ask Evans what he likes most about our city. He expresses great affection for it – “I love the city centre, I love the architecture, I love the cobbled streets!” Next he praises the organisational skill of the crew which meant that there were no is­sues with being on-set in a busy city.

Endeavour is set in the 1960s, which adds something special to the experience for Evans. He likes the ef­fect it had on the script itself; as “you can’t just text someone, there are no shortcuts”, the plots in Endeavour are made more subtle and well thought through. The context of Endeavour “takes [us] away from our sensibilities.”

Evans also cited the end of the war, the Women’s Lib move­ments and even the contemporary music as things which shape the show.

Evans knew in his early teens in Liverpool that he wanted to act, which is some­thing he is grateful for, as he says that it re­moved a lot of un­c e r t a i n t y from his life and “half of the trouble is making the decision”.

His career is certainly in the lime­light now. Evans says he is fortunate to be offered a choice of interesting parts, and he is lucky that his work has always been exciting.

I wonder if he has his eye on some other iconic roles, perhaps Bond, or Doctor Who? But Evans politely re­fuses; “They’re difficult shoes to fill.” He admires Daniel Craig and Matt Smith, but doesn’t necessarily aspire to play their characters, or Sherlock. Instead, Evans prefers to look for subjects and character traits which he would love to portray, rather than named roles. He says that, to him, great writing means you can “see the world through the prism of what you read.”

Evans enthuses about acting, say­ing he feels he is in the fortunate situation of being able to use his mind creatively in his work. He describes himself as blessed – although people may overuse that word, he truly feels exceedingly lucky in his work.

His fellow actors are sources of in­spiration for him. Malcolm McDow­ell from A Clockwork Orange is one of his favourites, as well as the late Peter Postlethwaite.

He also praises his co-star in En­deavour, Roger Allam, also well-known from The Thick of It, and extols his talent, along with earlier ac­tors like Al Pacino. When I question whether he might maybe want to join Allam in comedy, he replies that he is “open to anything”.

Evans is extremely unwilling to limit or define his ambitions, which is very exciting in an actor of his tal­ent and current popularity.

While he may have decided to take Morse in a different direction from John Thaw, it seems likely that Evans will definitely enjoy a career as illus­trious as his predecessor.

Floral Bloom

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MODEL LEONORE CARRON-DESROSIERS

FASHION&PHOTOGRAPHS AGATA WIELONDEK

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Where imagination becomes reality

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MODEL NATHALIE WRIGHT
FASHION,PHOTOGRAPHS & SKETCHES AGATA WIELONDEK

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