George Entwistle, former Director-General of the BBC, is thought to have enrolled at Oxford University studying a part-time masters course in the history of design with the Department of Continuing Education. 

Mr Entwistle’s latest move follows his media silence for the past year after he became the shortest-serving Director-General in history, having to resign after 54 days in the job at the end of 2012. His resignation came after a harrowing 15 minute interview with the BBC’s own John Humphreys in which Entwistle was unable to defend a false Newsnight report that implicated Lord McAlpine in a child abuse scandal.

Despite being in the job less than three months, Mr Entwistle received a £450,000 pay-off, which, as Exeter JCR President Ed Nickell put it “should cover his first battels”.

The Department of Continuing Education and Mr Entwistle, e-mailing form a St. Catz Nexus account, declined to comment. However we hope he enjoys this weekend’s matriculation along with the rest of the freshers.

Corpus student were distressed by news of beloved tortoise Oldham’s death, which was announced by the Corpus President, Professor Richard
Carwardine, during Freshers’ Formal last week.

In a speech to the incoming first years, Professor Carwardine announced that Oldham, who summered in the garden of the Presidential Lodgings, died in late August.

The JCR President, Patricia Stephenson, broke the news to the rest of the JCR in an email at the beginning of term. She wrote, “Oldham, one of our favourite tortoises died over the summer… I don’t really know how to handle the news. This will be discussed at the first JCR meeting of term and if anyone needs to talk to someone please look towards the peer supporters, who are there for these moment.”

According to Professor Carwardine, Oldham was afflicted with ‘fly-strike’, whereby a wound in his carapace became infested with fly eggs and maggots, weakening him severely. The wound was exposed to insects due to a pre-existing split in Oldham’s shell.

The infection is thought to have set in whilst the President and his wife, Dr Kirk, were away from Oxford. Upon their return they took him to his registered vet.

A thorough examination discovered that the infection was too advanced for treatment, and due to the painful nature of his injuries it was decided that the most humane course of action was to put Oldham to sleep.

Oldham, formerly known as Toddles but renamed in honour of Corpus’s first benefactor, is survived by his civil partner Foxe. Both competed regularly in races at the Corpus Tortoise Fair, held annually in Trinityv. Foxe is the reigning champion following a storming victory in June 2013.

Former Tortoise Keeper Jan Willem Scholten spoke of these happier times. He said, “All Corpuscles, both near and afar, will remember with fondness Oldham’s achievements on and off the race track as well as his remarkable modesty, of the sort that only the greatest athletes can show. I am proud to have known him.”

This sentiment is echoed around Corpus, with second year Aled Jones calling Oldham “…the People’s Tortoise, and that is how he will remain in our hearts and our memories for ever.”

Current Tortoise Keeper Lily Aaronovitch commented on how Foxe, Oldham’s partner since April 2011, is coping with his death. She said, “He was Foxe’s Moneypenny, the Alice B. Toklas to his Gertrude Stein. Oldham was Foxe’s Patroclus… Much like Achilles he has become somewhat aggressive following his companion’s death and so will not be joined by a new tortoise in the foreseeable future.”

Dennis O’Riordan has been suspended from practice by the Bar Association after being exposed as having faked his way to a stellar law career.

O’Riordan’s supposed credentials included attending Radley College, a private boarding school, and Balliol College, Oxford, where he claimed to have received first class BA and BCL degrees as well as a DPhil and an Eldon Scholarship. He also claimed to have got a Masters in Law from Harvard, a degree from the University of East Anglia, and that he was a member of both the New York and Irish Bar Associations. He added that he was currently a visiting lecturer at Oxford University.

On the basis of this he managed to land a pupillage at an unnamed barristers’ chamber, before moving on to become a partner in two top city law firms — Cadwalader Wickersham & Taft and Paul Hastings. The latter he joined in 2009 as a special consultant at its London office.

He was only exposed when he applied to another barristers’ chambers in November. The Bar Standards Board has now suspended him from practice for three years.

In a statement, his current firm, Paul Hastings, said, “Mr O’Riordan left the firm last Wednesday with immediate effect.”

A source from the firm felt that prior to his dismissal O’Riordan was doing “excellent work” and that his clients had been “very pleased”. Another said, “He produced his Bar certificate and a degree from the UEA — he was definitely qualified and had been doing sterling work at Cadwalader and had great client feedback. It’s just that he lied about his academic qualifications, and if you are a barrister, you can’t do that.”

Alex Bartram, Balliol JCR President, commented, “It’s good to see that Balliol appears to be the college of choice for those inventing a brilliant academic career for their CVs. On the one hand, I’m proud that we’ve got an absolutely justified reputation for academic excellence; on the other, I’m slightly concerned that we might be the go-to big-name-College for fraudsters and liars.

Dennis O’Riordan was unavailable for comment.

The recent approval of a new treatment for multiple sclerosis marks a partnership between Oxford and the University of Cambridge stretching 20 years.

Lincoln College Professor Herman Waldmann and his team of Cambridge researchers have been collaborating to develop Alemtuzumab, a new treatment for multiple sclerosis, which was approved by the European Medicines Agency last month.

“In particular, we have great admiration for the neurology team in Cambridge with whom we have worked on this project for so many years,” Waldmann said. “Their commitment and focus has been exemplary, and this has been a good example of basic and clinical science collaboration at its best.”

Multiple sclerosis is a disease affecting nerves in the brain and spinal cord, causing problems with muscle movement, balance and vision, and affects more than 100,000 people in the U.K. Alemtuzumab reboots the immune system by depleting immune cells, leading to a modified, positive immune response.

Joseph Sanchez, a third year biochemist, commented that the work leading to this approval demonstrates the necessity for high-level University medical research.

He said, “Medical research is a necessary facet for academic institutions because it gives not only precedence for the university or college itself to make strides in particular fields. It also sets a basis for academic enlightenment in student bodies and encourages those interested in improving their immediate surroundings to actually take action in solving the problems for the future.”

Although the drug does assist in treatment of multiple sclerosis, it also causes an additionally auto-immune disease in one-third of patients. For Sanchez, this does not necessarily present an ethical dilemma, considering the significance of the disease.

He said, “What MS does is virtually strip your nervous system of any kind of protective coating that prevents misfiring of electrical signals throughout your body. In many cases, it can cause such debilitating pain and such horrendous conditions that not even the most potent of medication can alleviate the disease’s effects.

“Thus, while the side effect of potentially receiving another autoimmune disease is extremely serious and should not be taken lightly (which is why the researchers appear to be taking action to improve on these conditions), I think that it comes down to the patients’ choice to weigh the options and decide what’s best for their own body.”

According to the University of Cambridge, researchers are continuing to look into this side effect and how to identify people who are susceptible to it.

A fresher from Exeter College was locked inside the Freud Café last Wednesday night after a drunken trip to the restrooms led to a five hour long sleep on a toilet seat. The disorientated student awoke at 4:30am to find himself locked inside the bar, unbeknownst to his colleagues and the bar’s staff.

The event took place at the Exeter Freshers’ Ball. The fresher, who wished to remain anonymous, told Cherwell, “We bought drinks from the shop and it kicked in pretty quickly. I was very drunk and feeling quite ill, and thought I needed to be sick.”

However, a trip to the bathroom saw him pass out in one of the cubicles, where he remained until the early hours of the morning. Describing his awakening, he said, “I was very drunk at this stage. Everything was dark, and I set off the alarm when I entered the main room.”

The situation merely worsened when he triggered the fire alarm while searching for the light switch in the darkness. He was also unable to find a way out, since, as he noted in a commendation of the security system at Freud’s that “everything was locked up very well.”

A call about the fire alarm alerted the police to the events. A report from Thames Valley Police issued to Cherwell said, “Police attended and could not see any signs of a break in and so contacted the key holder who attended.” They entered the building only to discover the unfortunate fresher and mistake him for a burglar.

According to the student, the misunderstanding saw the police order him to “get down on the ground”, but he “couldn’t hear because of the alarms.” Instead, he began to advance towards the officers, oblivious to their commands.

In the confusion the intoxicated student may have come close to being tasered by a pair of officers who did not know his intentions; after a third officer indicated this to him he finally obeyed the order.

The fresher said, “He handcuffed me and put me in the back of the police car. He asked, ‘Why didn’t you get down when we said to?’, and I explained.” He added, “I guess that was quite fortunate that I did eventually hear them.”

A statement from the police claimed that when officers reached him, the fresher was “initially arrested while the property was searched for any damage or theft, he was then de-arrested”.

The episode ended amiably with the first year being returned to his college by the police. He said that he returned to his bed safe and sound and no subsequent action occured regarding the incident.

Students who have spoken to Cherwell about the event have had mixed reactions. Tom Stafford, a fresher from St Anne’s College, commented, “It makes me feel bad by comparison. We obviously need to be hitting it harder.”

However, St Anne’s Entz rep Matthew Morrow, said, “I’m a-freud this guy only has himself to blame. All I can say is it must have been one hell of a poo.”

One American visiting student and self-proclaimed amateur bartender said to Cherwell upon hearing the story, “There are no words to express my displeasure at the concept of the guy’s inability to get down.”

He added, “You’d think an establishment which mixes natural frequenting of the bathroom with alcoholic drinks would ensure the toilets were checked.”

Thankfully, while the fresher reported that he thought during the crisis, “this is the worst thing that could possibly happen”, he claimed to have recovered from the shock come the following morning and now views the incident as an amusing twist in his week.

He added, “Looking back on it, I thought the story was a good one. I told my friends the next day. I’ve had a lot of people asking me if it’s true.”

Nor was the agreeability of his freshers’ week as a whole compromised by what has been described as his ‘Freud’s Fiasco’. “The night was funny even before I passed out in the loo,” he confirmed.

The owner of Freud’s was unavailable for comment.

Stewards at this year’s Freshers’ Fair temporarily removed the sign-up sheets of several societies whose representatives had momentarily left their stalls, citing concern for data protection and causing widespread bemusement.

In an email sent to all student stall-holders in advance of the event, OUSU had issued a warning not to leave any papers containing names or email addresses where they could be accessed by third parties. OUSU also instructed stewards to be vigilant in limiting access to Exam Schools for student stallholders without lanyards.

Consequently, stalls had to be deserted at points throughout the day, so that students could switch shifts and exchange lanyards. OUSU apparently did not anticipate that this would lead to sign-up sheets being left unattended on stalls.  

The Oxford Yoga Society and Oxford Indian Dance society were among those who temporarily lost their sign-up sheets. A spokesman from the Oxford Yoga Society was characteristically even-tempered about the tightening of security regulations, saying, “It’s no big deal. It’s a sign of the times. We got the names back quite quickly at least.”

OUSU President Tom Rutland, commented, “We looked after some sign-up sheets that had been left lying around unattended during the fair, so as to ensure that people’s names and details weren’t used for any purposes other than the societies they had signed up for. As soon as stallholders who’d left sheets returned to their stalls, they would have found a card telling them where they could pick up the sheets they’d left.

“We’ve got an obligation to look after students and their personal information, and by collecting them instead of leaving them lying around, we probably also helped to ensure they weren’t lost!”

Some have criticised OUSU’s strident approach, suggesting that for the most part people’s names and addresses are in the public domain. It has been pointed out that all colleges publish lists of the names of incoming students, and that amongst Oxford students someone’s name and college furnishes enough information to work out their email address.

Eleanor Franzen, a veteran stallholder with four years of experience, said, “If I really wanted to find victims to mail spam to, I probably wouldn’t stalk the corridors of Exam Schools on the lookout for abandoned stalls and then spend ages deciphering the overexcited scrawl common to all freshers. I’d probably just get their contact details off the internet. But then, maybe I’m missing out on all the fun.”  

This is not the first time OUSU’s enthusiasm for bureaucracy has raised eyebrows. At the 2009 Freshers’ air, satirical leaflets distributed by student publication ‘The Oxymoron’ were confiscated and banned, amid fears that freshers would not understand the irony.

The question, “Is God Real?”, posed by the Student Life Society at last week’s OUSU Fresher’s Fair found that ‘definitely’ was the most popular answer.

The Student Life Society, run by a number of Christian students who aim to encourage Oxford students into thinking deeply about questions of life and religion set up the stall which invited passing students to place a marble into one of the six jars ranging from ‘definitely’ to ‘don’t care’.

Just under 1400 people took part and they found that the two most popular opinions were ‘probably not’ and ‘definitely’, the latter winning marginally by 7 votes.

Student Life Intern Rachel Wears, who was running the stall said that, “The aim was to engage freshers with a spiritual topic, and to allow people to voice their opinion, whatever it was.”

Luke Robertshaw, another Student Life member who was working on the stall, noted that, “Some people instinctively knew what their response was, and others pondered the question before casting their vote.”

As well as Student Life there were a variety of other religious societies at the fair which offered students the chance to explore diverse perspectives on life and the world, as well as the opportunity to learn about their own faith. Oxford’s Inter-Collegiate Christian Union (OICCU), who also ran a stall, found that almost 280 freshers signed up.

When asked about the poll, the President of the OICCU, Joshua Peppiatt, was clearly very pleased with the result: “I think the poll was a great idea and I’m pleased that students are using their time at university to think about life’s big questions. I find it interesting that so many of the brightest people in this country find the Christian faith reasonable; the new atheists would have us believe we sacrifice our intellectual integrity if we believe in God, and this is simply not so. Students in the OICCU love to discuss these issues and their experience of God, and I’d encourage everyone to challenge their Christian friends about why they believe in God, and to come to our weekly Friday Lunchtime Talks, where common objections to the Christian faith are discussed.”

Oxford University also accommodates a number of Atheist and Agnostic societies, such as the Oxford Atheist, Secular and Humanist Society, which aims to broaden student understanding of Atheism and promote an open arena in which student’s can discuss all of their views.

Fresher and Atheist, Ben Waters, commented that the results of the poll were biased, “Because the stall was Christian-based, it’s obvious that Christian students would be more attracted to it than non-religious ones and therefore that skews the vote in their favour.”

The guide, named the ‘Overview of Oxford’ and created by Pembroke College student Simon Posner, gives a tongue-in-cheek description of notable destinations in the city.

All money given in exchange for a copy of the ‘Overview’ is donated to Oxford Homeless Pathways.

The recommended donation is £3, however additional surcharges have been suggested on the ‘Overview’ Facebook page. An additional £1 payment is suggested for those who have a double-barrelled surname, £5 for those who drive a 4×4 in town, and £10 for those with a private croquet lawn.

Posner commented, “This was intended as a joke, but it’s transpired that some students really do have a private croquet lawn at home. Most people have taken it in good humour though.

One student commented on the guide’s Facebook event, saying, “Wow Simon, the extra fee charges for double-barrelled surnames is mean. What can I do with my triple one?”

Posner told Cherwell, “I thought perhaps ten friends would humour my self-indulgence and donate £3 each, raising the minimum £30 that I thought would have made the endeavour worthwhile. It took off and the fundraised total was soon in three figures.”

The publication originated as Facebook statuses, and has since been developed into a four-page pamphlet.

The campaign is also relevant to Oxford in its chosen charity, as Oxford Homeless Pathways provides emergency accommodation and resettlement support for those who have been homeless in the Oxfordshire area.

Posner explained his choice, saying, “Poverty is an outrageous mockery of dignity all over the earth, but we see it ourselves daily in Oxford, and so I thought this charity would make the fundraising seem most immediate.”

However, some students have been less than impressed by the guide. One Pembroke student, who wished to remain anonymous, said, “If someone were running a marathon they would be expected to put in months of training so I find it weird that Simon only decided to put an afternoon of work into this.”

He added that the ‘Overview’ was only made possible through the encouragement of his friends and the editing help of Martine Wauben and Eden Bailey.

Wadham College has made its freshers’ week ‘Sexual Health and Consent’ workshops compulsory this year. The classes have previously run for a number of years but on an optional basis.

The classes are led and organised by OUSU-trained student facilitators, and have been taking place in the college for some years, but up until now, this has only been on an optional basis.

The hour-long workshops talked small groups of first year students through a number of issues including sexual violence, assault and rape. The majority of the sessions were spent running through scenarios in a university setting in which consent was either dubious, withdrawn or absent.

The move to make the workshops compulsory has, for some, been controversial. One third-year engineer expressed concerns that the workshop seemed “patronising and ultimately pointless”. She said, “Everybody knows what consent means.”

Other students were more positive about the classes though; one fourth-year physicist said, “It makes complete sense to make them compulsory because the people who are going to need them are the people who wouldn’t originally go out of their way to go.”

Wadham student facilitator Lucy Delaney acknowledged that there may be some controversy over the matter, telling Cherwell, “There were concerns that if made compulsory no one would go anyway, and certain people may see it as mundane or silly or ‘not for them’ or even too authoritarian.”

This is not the first time such events have been run in the University; other colleges have run similar workshops, including Corpus Christi, Christ Church and St Anthony’s. Pembroke is to host a discussion group about some of the messages conveyed in Robin Thicke’s somewhat controversial pop song ‘Blurred Lines’.

Delaney was also involved with the running of the non-compulsory sexual consent workshops running at St Anne’s College. Concerning these she told Cherwell, “There were obviously fewer people, and the ones who did show up were more clued up and enthusiastic. Yet despite there being the drawback of it not being compulsory, I still felt this was a valuable session — even those enthusiastic about the topic were still shocked by the statistics.”

This was the first year that St Anne’s ran the workshops, and freshers who attended received a free STACS (St Anne’s Coffee Shop) voucher.

Camille Fenton, the JCR Women’s Officer at St Anne’s and third year mathematician told Cherwell, “We do hope to increase attendance next year, along with training more facilitators to run the workshops. We’d certainly consider making them compulsory in the future, as the feedback was so positive and it seems to have worked very well at other colleges.”

Delaney nevertheless did acknowledge that it was difficult to judge the impact of the sessions. She said, “What I do know is that ‘grey areas’ were dispelled. I would hope people are at least more aware of what happens and aware of their actions.

“Around 400,000 women are sexually assaulted and 80,000 women raped each year in the UK. When people understand that rape and assault are not just anomalies, we can treat it as a serious, widespread problem.”

Sarah Pine, the OUSU Vice President (Women), provided training for the sessions. She said that she supports Wadham’s initiative in making the workshops compulsory telling Cherwell, “I would encourage lots of colleges to make these sessions compulsory in the future. Sexual violence is such a widespread problem that is under-acknowledged in the university as a whole.”

The Sexual Health and Consent workshop is not the only compulsory talk held in Wadham’s Freshers Week; students were also expected to attend an informal hour and a half discussion about ‘Welfare @ Wadham’, and a talk held by Wadham students about ‘life and work in Oxford as scholars and students’, amongst others.