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Best Muffin In Town?

"This muffin is the muffin. The muffin to end all muffins. The holy grail of muffins - if you will."

Almond and Cherry – G & D’s

This muffin pulls off a classic flavour combination reminiscent of a cherry bakewell, albeit it with a slight artificial cherry taste. Although a very dry texture, it is the perfect compliment to a cup of coffee and is sufficiently filling for your library-break snack. The addition of glace cherries in the centre, however, was a textural disappointment. 7/10

Blueberry muffin – Gail’s

This muffin comes in an unconventional shape – more like a bread roll – which took me slightly aback but competition is fierce in the muffin industry and the need for defining features is understandable. The first few bites of this muffin were, I’ll admit, a disappointment. The dry bread-like texture was rather savoury – not what I look for in a muffin. However, the centre brought a whole new dimension to this avant-garde muffin. Just the right amount of a light custard – not the dense custard to be found inside a Gregg’s doughnut – topped with several zingy blueberries provided the perfect taste delight. 8/10

Blueberry – Café Nero

A frequent destination for my coffee breaks, it is a misfortune that the Café Nero blueberry muffin does not live up to my muffin expectations. Whilst many muffins lie on the dry side, this muffin is the exact opposite – moisture central – like the excess oily sebum on an acne-prone teenager. While this is not a colossal problem in itself, when combined with the diabetically sweet jam centre – this taste experience proves far too much even for a muffin connoisseur like myself. 5/10 

Blueberry – Café Crème

This muffin is the muffin. The muffin to end all muffins. The holy grail of muffins – if you will. This is where my muffin search began – I had to put into words its simple beauty. Now from this glowing review you would probably be slightly disappointed if you were to try it. However, the pleasure of the muffin is unlike the taste of the richest of chocolate cakes, the most intense orgasm or a hit (being Scottish entails I have limited scope for cultural references which don’t involve substance abuse). That would be to miss the beauty of the muffin. For the beauty of the muffin is in the simple balances between moist and dry, sweet and sickly. That bliss point strikes a balance between all combinations. Focus too hard on the details and you miss the subtlety, get too distracted and you miss the beauty. This baked delight is as wholesome as it gets; a comfort in trying times; the support that only food is able to give. It is for this reason I get slight flashbacks to my over reliance during exam times, but nevertheless nothing can detract from the sweet bliss that is this wholesome muffin. 10/10

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