Sunday 29th June 2025
Blog Page 1661

Olympic Opening Ceremony: Live Blog!

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And with a final rendition of ‘Hey Jude’ that’s it. Except it’s not the end. It’s just the end of the beginning. Thanks to one and all for following; it’s been a blast. Let the games begin!

12.41pm: Well, one half of my wish came true. It’s Paul McCartney. Remember? From Wings. Amongst other things. 

12.37pm: If this doesn’t end with a Boris-McCartney duet, I’ll weep. Redgrave and other delegates pass the lighting of the flame to young representatives. The final torch is utterly gorgeous. It rather puts Rowling’s Goblet of Fire to shame.

12.31pm: And the final torchbearer is Steve Redgrave. Good, safe choice from the committee – our greatest Olympian ever. I can put the phone back now, then. I had my trainers ready and everything.

12.21pm: That’s a good one to have on the CV. UN Champion of the Earth. Good for dinner parties too, I’d imagine. Blows rocket-scientist and brain-surgeon out of the water.

12.14pm: How to get a job as President of the IOC? Dynamism, verve, and a zest for life, it seems.

12.12pm: We did it correctly, Seb. Now isn’t the time for colloquialisms.

12.11pm: It’s time for the speeches and official opening, and Lord Coe’s borrowed some goggles from the squash team. I imagine there will be a few ‘indelible marks’ on those pristine white uniforms at the sight of that big a crowd. 

12.07pm: It must have been a difficult decision late one night in the ceremonial consultative meetings. ‘Flying bicycles?’ ‘Yeah, why not?’

12.03pm: Innovative fireworks hark back to the opening of the ceremony, transforming the stadium into a thatched cottage. At least, that’s what I’ll claim.

11.58pm: And we’re out. I can hear Jermyn Street cringing from here. At least Bond was well dressed.

11.51pm: Elbow patches? Uruguay giving the Romanians a run for their money. Antique-chic.

11.49pm: America taking their costume-cue from the Wimbledon line judges, there.

11.48pm: They ought to put better use to this conveyer belt of nations. Perhaps next time the organisers could combine the event with Eurovision? It’s in your hands, Rio di Janeiro. 

11.43pm: Boyle’s ‘Glastonbury Tor’ looking more and more like a fortress with those flags surrounding it. All it needs are a few heads to go on its spikes. Nominations? Lay on, readers.

11.33pm: It’s becoming a bit of a cop-out just to keep on quoting Mr Nelson. But I can’t resist this one: ‘It’s like being in a lesson here. All these countries I’ve never heard of.’

11.30pm: Award nominations for best dressed? My vote goes to the Romanian delegation, for their mustard jackets and cravats. Beats our inevitable trackies.

11.23pm: Sneak-preview of the US team wearing berets, no less. Bien sur. Do comment below, or @Cherwell_Online with your highlights and thoughts so far.

11.16pm: ‘The beat’s pretty rapid’. That’s exactly how I’d describe it, Huw. Encroaching on Trevor’s territory a little though?

11.13pm: Weary of the parading? Take a welcome gander at this entertaining video of athletic mishaps.

11.10pm: ‘Kyrgyzstan, one of the only countries whose name contains only a single vowel’. Glad to see the BBC commentary team is scraping the bottom of the same barrel as me.

11.06pm: Danny Boyle is apparently responsible for the first lesbian kiss broadcast on Saudi television. Good on him. Usain’s swaggering out.

11.04pm: I bet the Duke of Edinburgh’s having a field day. Maybe that’s why the Queen’s keeping terse-lipped. 

10.59pm: It’s a real triumph for the mum-viewers this evening. Thanks to Anna Broadley, whose message informs me that hers mistook Emeli Sande for Elaine Paige. Mine’s just compared watching this procession to ‘having a chronic disease’. Entering into the spirit, then.

10.55pm: Trevor Nelson (on Fiji’s topless flag bearer): ‘Oh Fiji’s my favourite. What a hero.’ Thanks, Trev. Making my job easier.

10.51pm: You don’t have to be really, really tall to carry your country’s flag, but it certainly helps. Adele blares in the background. Presumably Boyle was taking her literally when she asked him to ‘set fire to the rain.’

10.45pm: So… We’re still only on ‘C’. To cheer us all up, the Cubans have come in dressed up as bananas.

10.38pm: Twitter’s lit up, as expected. Nick Robinson, BBC political correspondent, is being his usual adventurous self: ‘Stirring, moving, patriotic but can’t help analysing the politics of the ceremony…’ Oh, Nick. You’re a one.

10.32pm: HOORAY, Trevor’s back. He likes ‘the snazzy outfitzz’.

10.31pm: The Bangladeshi delegate’s taking quite a liberal approach to his flag waving technique. Much to the irritation of the poor girl standing next to him.

10.26pm: An important message to the world’s leaders: choose your national colours wisely. Else you’ll end up looking like flight attendants on all sorts of important occassions.

10.24pm: I must admit, I’ve been dreading this bit. There’s going to be quite a long section now, mainly involving participants from different nations walking in. Which is quite hard to keep up an entertaining commentary upon. I’m going to be navigating a veritable minefield of race-based humour.

10.22pm: And, an hour and twenty minutes in, we get our first sight of some athletes. Mummy Fennemore’s brought in some late-evening scotch eggs. Bet you wish you were here.

10.18pm: Those dramatic dancers I raised an eyebrow to earlier are in fact commemorating those who died in the 7/7 attacks. They’re excused. At least Trevor’s keeping his mouth shut.

10.12pm: They’re running another montage over what I’m told is an emergency. Richard Burton’s desperately trying to get hold of Danny Boyle. With ‘only’ Clint Eastwood to protect him.

10.10pm: Well, that’s Trevor Nelson’s specialist area over. Wasn’t he worth it? Tim Berners Lee appears to have a blank white screen on his computer. Must be running Microsoft.

10.03pm: I imagine the Queen’s loving this. I also imagine that the Archbishop’s providing some top quality banter sitting behind her.

10pm: It’s the music medley section. They’re making a bit of a song and dance about it. Tee Hee.

9.55pm: A sequence about ‘the digital age’ now. They didn’t invite me. Dancers keep the crowd amused whilst we watch some ‘classic’ British clips by twirling some giant glowsticks. Daddy Fennemore turns the volume down.

9.50pm: I’ll shut up for a bit and let you bask in the glory of Rowan Atkinson’s visual humour.

9.44pm: Somebody shut Trevor Nelson up. ‘I really like the use of children in this so far’. Let’s have one of those Mary Poppinses smack him round the face with her umbrella.

9:39pm: All the children are hiding under their beds from JK Rowling. Cheer up, kids, at least it’s not Carol Ann Duffy.

9:38pm: A rather sinister section to Mark Oldfield’s Exorcist theme tune of Tubular bells is replaced by something altogether more upbeat and swingy in celebration of the NHS and Great Ormond Street. ‘They’re actually trampolines look, not beds’ says Daddy Fennemore. Ever the insightful.

9.34pm: James Bond AND the Queen AND Dambusters. That was utterly superb. Boyle firmly raises two fingers to any republicans. The French commentary employs a nice mix of English verbiage, just to show them who’re still the kings of language. Up goes the flag to the anthem, in front of a rather grouchy looking queen. At least we got the right flag.

9.25pm: Burning Olympic Rings. It’s Raining Fire. Photo creds to Austin Tiffany.

9.22pm: Take that, Romantic England. THIS…. IS…SMELTING!

9.17pm: And up rise those dark satanic mills like, well, I won’t say what. Branagh takes a puff from his cigar. And we’re already at WW1. At this rate, we’ll be done in ten minutes or so.

9.11pm: Kenneth Branagh presents a stunning rendition of Caliban’s speech. Dressed as Isambard Kingdom Brunel. And now Evelyn Glennie leads a depiction of the Industrial Revolution. Move your crops, lads, the men in the top hats have arrived.

9.07pm: Next, a charming medley from assorted schoolgirls throughout the constituent nations and principalities of GB. Including any chunk to ‘Danny Boyle’, was that? I must have misheard. And back to Jerusalem again. I’ve always thought that burning gold was a funny thing to make a bow out of. Each to their own, Mr Blake.

9.00pm: And we’re off! To a staggeringly good visual. I’ve got disappointingly few critical things to say about that. That was pretty damn cool. 

8.57pm: Maypole dancing, cricket, and ferris wheels, to the tune of Nimrod. This is what Britain is like. All of the time.

8.45pm: Fifteen minutes to go and a shouty chap wearing a short sleeved checked shirt has forgotten he’s got the modern blessing of a microphone in front of him. BBC warm-up coverage has included the usual welcome blend of Lineker and Barker, plenty of montage footage giving us an early Einuadi overdose, and some gentle ribbing of Amir Khan’s choice of wristwatch. And now for some Andrew Marr. In rather tight jeans.

Preamble: Gone are the days when an Olympic Opening Ceremony consisted of teams simply marching around the stadium wearing Sports Blazers and sensible pairs of slacks, to the tune of a brass band. This evening’s ceremony, directed by Slumdog superstar Danny Boyle, has been one of the most anticipated features of the London Games. Taking its inspiration from a speech by Caliban, a gnarly old chap from Shakespeare’s The Tempest, Boyle has promised to transform the stadium with a luscious set depicting our ‘Isles of Wonder’. Don’t mention Hull.

Judging by sneak preview footage of the event, this incarnation involves a lot of bad behaviour (not that kind) on giant beds, dancers being all dramatic amidst gusts of haze, and cyclists. With luminous wings.

I’ll be accompanying you through this extravaganza with a regularly-updating commentary on the events as they unfold. This will be supplemented by exclusive photographs from Jonathan Goddard and Austin Tiffany, taken at one of the dress-rehearsals for tonight’s event. 

I’m not reassuring myself with any it’s-a-marathon-not-a-sprint nonsense. Because it is a sprint. And a marathon. A sprinted marathon. At Usain Bolt speeds, that’s 26 miles in 1 hour and 5 minutes, breaking the world record by about an hour. Take that, Patrick Makau.

But all this strenuous activity isn’t just my responsibility. Get your fingers warmed up and prepared to be constantly tapping that F5 button to refresh the page, and follow the progression of the ceremony. Else you’ll be sitting here staring at the first entry for three hours. I’d hate for you to miss out. Do post your own comments in the box below, or message us on Twitter at @Cherwell_Online, and I’ll include your thoughts in the liveblog.

So join me at 9pm after an unfeasibly long BBC countdown to watch Danny Boyle piss away our cash unleash a worthwhile and cost-effective addition to a sports competition – and to see whether Boris can upstage £27 million worth of pyrotechnics. I can’t wait.

Interview: James Delingpole

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James Delingpole would make a poor politician. Nor would he mind me saying so. His colourful social commentary reminds me of George Galloway (he might mind me saying that). How about this on New Labour: ‘they raped our country…and we just had to spread our buttocks and take it’. Needless to say, Delingpole’s politics bear no resemblance to the Respect Party MP – in fact they are light years away from any mainstream figure. In our hour-long interview the right-wing journalist and author was characteristically impassioned, though I discovered a reflectiveness to Delingpole that did not leave me short-changed.   

When discussing politics Delingpole is belligerent, ‘detest[ing] nuance’. For the author of How to be Right, subtlety and understatement – whilst noble Conservative virtues – are in fact rather ignoble in the face of the Bolshevistic threat the country faces. To avoid total capitulation to the ‘lefty, socialist consensus’, which the Cameron Coalition represents, James demands fellow conservatives employ ‘the tactics of the Left’, though beyond a shouty obstinacy it’s not clear what this entails.

On the one-hand I understand Delingpole as ‘terribly English’. Our tea is made splendidly (I wonder whether he has gleaned the insights of another, albeit more famous, novelist-cum-polemicist on this) and as we bask in the evening sunlight of his south-London semi, it is evident that the garden is immaculately well-tended to. He was famously portrayed in the Channel 4 docu-drama When Boris met Dave as a wet, naive schoolboy with aristocratic pretensions. The comparison with Charles Ryder of Brideshead Revisited is inescapable. We can only suppose therefore that the producers were confused when they modelled Delingpole on Evelyn Waugh’s other creation, Sebastian Flyte (on-screen James is shown – wholly inaccurately – to gander merrily about Christ Church with his teddy-bear). Alternatively, his frankness – what Delingpole would coyly describe as ‘fucking off lefties’ – is attributed to his West Midlands roots, the culture whereof is very ‘call a spade a spade’.

On the other-hand he is not at all self-conscious, being entirely immune to embarrassment. At times this has translated into an admirable audaciousness, such as when he broke what he later popularised the ‘Climategate’ story in 2009. A number of prominent climate scientists from the University of East Anglia’s Climate Research Unit were exposed conspiring in data fraud, employing ‘Mike’s nature trick’ to hide an ‘inconvenient’ set of results. Irrespective of your conclusions about the veracity of anthropogenic global warming, Delingpole undoubtedly performed a great service to the public in exposing the fraud. Most journalists, including global-warming sceptics, would not have touched the story but in his insolence, Delingpole did – it propelled him from blogospheric obscurity to become the media’s most infamous climate-sceptic and right-wing bogeyman. ‘Most people in the media I despise’ notes Delingpole; indeed the feeling, especially since ‘Climategate, is mutual.

Matt Ridley of the Spectator probably pinned it down most accurately when he characterised Delingpole as a ‘radical 18th-century pamphleteer lambasting the Whig establishment’. At least Delingpole thinks so. He has ‘always detested arbitrary authority’ though in his view, the last decade has seen the Conservative party he instinctively belonged to become the embodiment of that philosophy, rendering him a ‘Radical’. Funny, because Delingpole is a staunch conservative in almost every sense, save for a distinctly liberal use of expletives. Nor, it quickly emerges, is he fired up by the sort of social issues that many of his right-wing contemporaries proselytise about mercilessly. His defining life experience? ‘Taking my first E’ – imagine a Mail commentator confessing to that.

And what of the evidence that Delingpole’s brand of ‘libertarian conservatism’ is catching on? He certainly doesn’t do himself any favours. When Rowan Williams recently waded into a Westminster catfight about the Welfare Bill, James wondered aloud on his Telegraph blog whether the outgoing Archbishop was in fact the Antichrist. Understatement of the century? ‘I’ve never been known for my diplomacy’. Quite. 

That aside, I put it to him that – all too often – he preaches to the converted; the only people likely to be persuaded are those who already subscribe to his rather niche brand. Is he the Polly Toynbee of the Right? ‘I totally accept that criticism…I’m not a politician; I’m not there to bring people over’. In fact he’s quite firm on that point, that ‘I’m best at being James Delingpole, so why should I try to be someone else?’ which bemuses me. Surely if you ardently believe in a cause, you want it actualised, and in a democracy that means bringing people over. Delingpole has no time for that, slamming the Cameroons for adhering to the cosy centre ground rather than ‘actually doing what is necessary’ to save the country.

I wasn’t convinced by this apparently disdainful attitude to public opinion, so I challenge him. In Delingpole’s bastardised Platonic ideal, I counter, only conservative solutions can rescue the nation, and if the public doesn’t want them, stuff ‘em! Unsurprisingly he’s not persuaded, referencing Thatcher as a politician who moved the centre ground rather than chasing it. His theory is that the next Labour government, led by a ‘monkey in a red rosette’ will test the consensus to destruction by ‘borrowing even more money and spunking it against the wall’ – leading to a seismic public mood shift. Interesting theory, perhaps Cherwell could get back to Delingpole about that one in a decade’s time.

From the transcript of our interview, Delingpole does not come across well. In-between insurrectionist ramblings are narcissistic ones – ‘it’s boring being right’ is a common afterthought – and the claim that the ‘Climategate’ revelations have ‘saved Western civilisation’ is, to put it kindly, dubious; less kindly, it was ‘weapons-grade bollocks’, to coin one of James’ phrases.

He does not share the avuncular manner of my other interviewees, quite the contrary. Yet I’m glad for it. Delingpole’s talent – and a rare one at that – lies in telling you how utterly wrong you are without being patronising. It’s hard to tell whether Delingpole’s style or substance will infect a broader demographic. Having recently escaped to the countryside, will James’ inner street-fighter mellow with age? The answer is that, by cultivating the habits of an English gentleman in his private life, he doesn’t have to. ‘Lefties’ should anticipate irritation for some time yet.

James’ ‘latest masterpiece’ on the environmental movement – Watermelons – can be found here

Tom is now on twitter…

Review: As You Like It

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St Paul’s churchyard in Covent Garden is the setting for Iris Theatre’s production of As You Like It and the joy of the play is the way in which the location resembles an inner-London Arden. The promenade-style performance leads the audience away from the bustle of the world beyond the gates and finally, for the wedding scene denouement, into the church itself.

Particularly effective is the backdrop to the first scenes in the forest. The audience cluster round a tree strung with paper lanterns as the light fades, the cast sing, and Orlando (Joe Forte) hangs love poetry on the branches. Tessa Battisti’s design works with the gardens entirely unobtrusively – each new setting a surprising discovery and those scenes that suit performance in the round (such as the wrestling ring at court) added greatly to this organic feel. Benjamin Polya’s lighting was introduced subtly as the natural light faded, leading up to the eerie atmosphere of the indoor Hymen scene, the church door transformed into the entrance of a cave, with the audience being led to the heart of a mystical landscape.

The success of the acting was more variable. In a company which trades on its youth and vitality, something Emily Tucker’s Rosalind embodied perfectly, the stand out performance was actually that of theatre veteran John Harwood, as Adam and Corin. His slower pace was not only in keeping with characterisation but seemed to give the language greater impact. Diana Kashlan’s Touchstone, however, while giving the piece a lot of comic energy, often did so at the expense of her lines, which lost meaning; she seemed more at home while responding to the speech of other characters, or adding in non-Shakespearean asides. On the other end of the spectrum there was a tendency to over-emphasise famous passages, a fault of which Tom Deplae as Jacques was particularly (if understandably) guilty. Fiona Geddes’ Celia was also a little over-expressive, in contrast with the more naturalistic Tucker, although her interpretation of Celia as more assertive than is often the case was refreshing.

This reflected a decision of director Daniel Winder’s to pay a lot of attention to the play’s apparent subversion of gender norms. Sometimes this worked well – Matthew Mellalieu’s cross-dressing Audrey was a favourite with the audience – but other quirks, such as Amiens’ (Christopher Rowland) suggested gender confusion, were more difficult to rationalise. The programme refers to the character of Orlando as ‘submissive, nurturing, emotional and easily manipulated’ – an apparent confutation of our gender expectations. But onstage Forte was not so much metrosexual as bland, an unconvincing match for Tucker, reduced to the role of a pretty face (or at least a pretty topless wrestler).

Overall the production was funny, charming and well-conceived. Design, music and direction all made the play consistently engaging and any quibbles with the acting were more than compensated for by the energy of the ensemble. The play seemed not so much a performance as a shared experience and it was one I would not hesitate in recommending to students who find themselves with a free (mild!) night in the capital.

THREE AND A HALF STARS 

Iris Theatre’s production of As You Like It will be performed until 4th August at St Paul’s Church, Covent Garden, £14/10

Review: The Gaslight Anthem – Handwritten

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If The Gaslight Anthem sound like Bruce Springsteen, there’s probably a good reason for that. They are a blue-collar band hailing from New Jersey, playing muscular rock and roll songs about how good things were in some more innocent time, and the need to break free. It’s practically genetic.

However, whenever comparisons are drawn between a young act and an established master (or ‘Boss’) of the genre, expectations are automatically raised, meaning that whatever the newcomer pulls out of the bag has to be something particularly special. The Gaslight Anthem have managed this in the past. Their second album, The ‘59 Sound, was on hard rotation on my hifi for a good few months. Their particular skill lies in taking a kind of music that you’ve definitely heard before and making it seem vital and relevant in a way that many Springsteen-aping bands fail to do.

It’s a shame, then, that their newest album, Handwritten, fails to live up to this promise.

It’s not a bad album, not by any measure. The same factors that made The ’59 Sound such a joy are still present. The band have lost none of their energy, none of their verve and wit, and none of their usual lyrical themes. The music still sounds like it used to. But, in some ways, that’s part of the problem with the new album.

There’s a sense that we’ve heard these songs before, on The ’59 Sound. The style has barely changed at all, which leaves the listener in something of a quandary. It’s by no means definite that new is always better, that trying out new styles and elements in music is the way for a band to go. In some cases, it’s nice to know what you’re getting. But it’d be a real shame to see The Gaslight Anthem become another band that releases the same album ten times in a row, especially after their third album, American Slang.

American Slang showcased a different side to the band, a side that was appealing, more melodic, more polished and professional than that which came through on their first two albums. If The Gaslight Anthem had carried on in that vein, there is a chance that they could have been a truly big name, a world-conquering rock band. Unfortunately, for all its charm, Handwritten is nowhere near the record it would need to be for that ambition to be realised.

 

THREE STARS

Review: Frank Ocean – Channel Orange

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Channel Orange is an ‘important’ album for a few reasons. The first is that is the first fully-formed solo release by Frank Ocean, the current flavour of the month for the majority of the music press. The second reason is that Frank Ocean recently posted an open letter on Tumblr that exposed his unrequited feelings for someone in his past. That person happened to be male.

I’m sure we all know how violently homophobic many popular hip-hop/R&B stars have been in the past, and how that has leant a certain intolerant air to the whole genre. Whether or not Frank Ocean is accepted by the wider R&B community, it’s rather edifying that he has released an album genre to so much critical acclaim. Of course, this won’t be the cure for homophobia in hip-hop. This won’t stop various high profile ambassadors for the genre using terms relating to the LGBTQ community as a catch-all term for lameness. It won’t stop the hate and it won’t stop the abuse, but it’s a start. If audiences really take to Frank Ocean, and the hip-hop establishment allows him a place at the top table, that’s a step in the right direction.

There’s no reason why that shouldn’t happen. There’s always the chance that an artist under so much scrutiny (in both professional and personal capacities) will disappoint. Ocean has managed to put together a debut album that is exceedingly professional, yet distinctive. His voice is his greatest asset – the falsetto on tracks such as ‘Thinkin Bout You’ is pure and unforced (and therefore, nowhere near as annoying as falsetto can often be). His chilled-out tracks convey a sense of ennui that is often overlooked in favour of more flashy fare. Although there are missteps, (a track entitled ‘Forrest Gump’ is never a good idea to begin with, and it doesn’t sound much better than the title suggests), these are in the minority.

Frank Ocean is one to watch. Not just because of what his success means, but because of his precocious talent and potential.

FIVE STARS

Flotilla commemorates Alice in Wonderland

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A flotilla of boats set sail on the river Thames on 7th July to mark the 150th anniversary of the first telling of ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’, the novel by Lewis Carroll.

Carroll, actually named Charles Dodgson, was a mathematician and Deacon at Christ Church College. Carroll dreamt up the tale during a boat trip on the Thames, as he told it for three young sisters as they travelled from Christ Church to Godstow on a river picnic.

The girls were so impressed by the story that they urged him to write it down, which he did, in the book which is commonly known as ‘Alice in Wonderland’. It is this moment that the organisers from The Story Museum in Oxford and the Lewis Carroll Society based the weekend’s celebrations around.

The flotilla was crewed by members of the rowing club Club Barge and headed by a boat carrying stand-ins for Carroll himself, the three Liddell sisters, and Carroll’s friend Robinson Duckworth. Behind this vessel were a selection of Venetian barges. Although a substantial attraction itself, with organisers estimating attendance as “thousands of people”, the voyage was just one part of a much larger event commemorating Carroll’s works.

The whole celebration spanned both Saturday and Sunday and involved around twenty separate events, including a giant chess board and an international exhibition based at The Story Museum. The celebration culminated on Sunday evening with a mass Caucus Race on Christ Church Meadow.

According to organiser Cath Nightingale the weekend was a great success despite the rain, describing it as describing The Story Museum’s participation in the weekend as “one of the most exciting additions to Oxford’s cultural scene”.

Review: Lighter Days

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Behind the blank facade of one of the mysterious houses on St Giles, through a long garden dotted with apple trees and soaked by an unfavourable summer, in a small wood panelled hall with cushioned pews sat a dozen friendly faces. This was the meeting house of the Society of Friends, the Quakers, and the stage for a series of short plays and improvisations with no discernible theme.

Almost Random Theatre is the nascent creation of Chris Sivewright, formed in May this year, and Lighter Days is only their second performance. It showed. There was not really any cohesion to the whole event, so one of the actresses played some Einaudi on a piano, then improvisation was introduced, followed by plays of various (short) lengths running the thematic gamut from dance to dementia. In total there were eight actors and eight writers, some much better than others.

The first playlet was a twenty-minute piece about paedophilia and was probably the high point of the evening. An old man sat bent in a garden chair, an old woman watering her roses and talking to the audience. She clutched a Thermos and had a ‘nana’ smile – gentle, authoritative and kind. Slowly the story is revealed of the husband’s arrest and trial, of the woman’s ostracism by friends, neighbours and even her own family. It is an unsettling piece that effectively, and quite intelligently, questions society’s blind attitudes – rationality vs base instinct: our sympathies do not lie with the accused but how are we to treat the woman who sticks by him? “I think I could have coped with murder, fraud,” she says, “but this is the worst offence in the book.” Writer Doc Anderson-Bloomfield cleverly animated the backstory with two actors on stage reminiscing, allowing us to know a whole cast – the daughter, the neighbours, the judge – all of whom had only really been hinted at. Mary Stuck and Richard Ward, playing the wife and the husband, alleviated any fears that the evening was going to be back-patting am dram; unfortunately, they played their hand too early.

An odd but, thankfully, very short, very wooden piece about a Jewish girl dancing at her father’s grave followed. “Oh, why are you dancing?” the audience is assumed to have asked the girl, so that she explains everything to us. In fact, we don’t really care. It was colloquialism combined with bad poetry. A date in a restaurant, a man who is addicted to books, a walk through the woods: these three slightly limp offerings provided a moment of reflection on the nature of such short plays. It is difficult, but not impossible, to write plays this short. Situation is important – probably the most important thing because the play must be instantly engaging. There is very little time for in-depth characterisation or for plot, so situation and dialogue have to shine.

Lorna Pearson’s ‘Walking On Ice’ presented a series of cryptic exchanges between a frightening old woman and a frightening old man on a sea of ice. There were hints of something supernatural, there were mythic elements and there was an enigmatic script – offering another striking shift in tone. There were very few props throughout the evening, which placed reliance on the ability of the actors. Often they succeeded in setting the respective and starkly differing tones of each play, sometimes this was not helped by a lady with a very easy sense of humour and a very loud laugh like some kind of professional claque – although, unfortunately, exploding in a sonorous and ruddy mess at all the wrong points.

There were many moments during this three-hour marathon, surrounded by the friends and contributors of Almost Random Theatre, when I thought ‘this is bad’. There were many moments of mediocrity and sub-mediocrity, of battiness, of misplaced laughter and misspoken lines; but eight actors and eight writers had the chance, on a grey and grizzled Thursday night, to sit with kind, welcoming, friendly people and to showcase the products of their enthusiasm and to have fun. A new theatre group and wholly new writing inevitably offers a mixed bag. This is not theatre to watch, yet; it is theatre to be a part of, to enjoy, to get involved in. It is amateur, of course it is, but these are the roots whence spring the mighty tree from which the boards of every professional theatre are cut. Trite, but true. 

THREE STARS

Review: Dark Days

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The high standard of Oxford student productions raises expectations of fledgling theatre companies to a level that may appear unrealistic to those outside the bubble, but the reality of such an endeavour can involve risks, difficulties, and inevitable mistakes. Unfortunately, Dark Days, the opening collection of sketches in Almost Random Theatre’s (est. May 2012) three-night run painfully demonstrated such setbacks, despite appearing at first sight to offer an impressive medley of talented, experienced actors and writers.

There were instances of compelling, thought-provoking writing, as well as examples of enjoyable and intelligent acting – the problem was that these two vital ingredients of good theatre largely failed to coincide. The interesting scripts were poorly rendered, while the engaging actors were wasted on dull writing. For example, the first sketch, The Intricate Workings of a Sherbet Lemon, was impossible to enjoy due to Kyran Pritchard’s I’m-doing-my-acting-voice, while Steve Walker’s poignant and convincing performance in Confessions of an Addict was incongruous with the bad jokes included in his speech about why he’d joined Readers Anonymous. This lacklustre combination resulted in an evening which failed to make an impression; no sketch was totally catastrophic but none was particularly entertaining.

The closest any piece got to contradicting that verdict was Wolf, written and performed by Gwilym Scourfield. It greatly exceeded expectations because the concept, an account of the story of Little Red Riding Hood from the perspective of the baddie, has been set as creative writing homework for Key Stage Three students throughout the country. I was therefore preparing for something tired and littered with clichés, but was pleasantly surprised by Scourfield’s lively, amusing monologue. He managed to weave contemporary references and clever puns together with appeals to age-old truths and stereotypes while remaining unexpectedly original. His acting was skilful, but was tragically let down by the fact that the whole monologue was read off a script, a factor which frustratingly ruined what was easily the best piece of the evening.

Perhaps this gaping flaw can be seen to represent what was wrong with the evening as a whole, in terms of a lack of thoroughness, which would have enhanced the whole theatrical presentation. For if the better actors were working with the better-written pieces (and the remainder done away with), and if the awkward musical interruptions and atrociously staged slap were edited out, the performances could have been impressive.

Overall, this young theatre company displayed some promise on which it should have capitalised much more. The company is clearly still attempting to forge an identity, and one way in which they would be well advised to progress in this respect would be to abandon completely their jarring ‘improvised comedy’ attempts and focus solely on drama. With time the company will hopefully improve drastically on what it currently has to offer, which the audience tangibly found underwhelming.

TWO STARS

Holidays Under 200 Pounds

If there’s something that living on this Island has taught us, it’s that ‘The British Summer’ is a generous but inaccurate term for the three months wedged in between Trinity and Michaelmas. Hard-working and diligent academics deserve more than highs of 15 degrees, so Cherwell Lifestyle have taken it upon themselves to help what little is left of your student loan go a long way. Our ‘Holidays Under 200 Pounds’ will offer you the ideal package- Sunshine that won’t burn a hole in your pocket.

 

City Break: Barcelona, Spain

Price: £148.00 pp

If you find Parisian chic unimaginative, Milanese cafe culture clichéd and think that the Amsterdammer’s American English is flirting with the bad side of cute, then it’s the Catalans that will put the fiesta back into your summer. Now that the Spanish are Euro 2012 Champions, the party’s only just getting started.

Easy Jet’s ‘Late Summer Deals’ provide a two night stay at a 4 star hotel, 10 minutes from the famous Las Ramblas, as well as return flights from London Gatwick to Barcelona at an affordable £148.00. Admittedly, you’ll probably need to double that when you consider spending money. Barcelona isn’t cheap and has no time for those who are.

 

Group Holiday: Sliema, Malta

Price: £139.98 pp

Lads on tour 2k12? Then the north east coast of Malta is calling your name. We found a rustic town house, complete with roof terrace and plunge pool on www.homeaway.com. It’s situated 500 meters from the beach and within easy walking distance of St.Julians – famed for its restaurants, bars and coffee shops. The centre of Malta’s night life- the Paceville area is also a mere stone throw away.

With room for up to 10 people, it’s perfect for a group holiday. Even better is the £48.00 per person price tag. Couple this with £91.98 return flights from London Stansted on Ryanair.com and you’ve got a £139.98 late September getaway. Whether it’s the appeal of approximately 5 Park Ends (complete with a crew date to start the night and a kebab to end it) or a week away in the Mediterranean; the choice is simple.

 

Beach-relaxation: Can Picafort, Majorca

Price: £172 pp

If you’d rather trade the LADSLADSLADS#UNIBANTER culture for a spot of quiet beach relaxation, then look no further than this secluded beach resort in Majorca. Cherwell’s Lifestyle has found a set of 3 star, self-catered apartments, ‘The Africamar Apartments’ on the bay of Alcudia, just 200 meters from the beach. With this in mind, what are you waiting for? Pack up your beach towel, tanning oil and Fifty Shades of Grey; you’re guaranteed to be freshly bronzed and ready to face the Michaelmas frost.

 

Party-Island: San Antonio, Ibiza

Price: £196 pp

If you’re looking for guaranteed sun, sand and sex this summer, there is no rivaling the world-famous party island, Ibiza. We’ve found a cracking self-catering hotel, Costa Sur Hotel, situated in San Antonio Bay, 100m from the beautiful sandy beach. The centre of town is about a 40 minute stroll along the beach, or a shorter taxi ride away, leaving you free to enjoy both the serene daytime and wicked Pacha nightlife. However; for those unwilling to travel further afield, San Antonio offers it’s own evening entertainment including Irish bar Paddy’s and Linekers; a club crawling with Brits, you’ll forget you’re in a foreign country.

Batman’s Moral Maze

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[This article contains plot details from The Dark Knight Rises. The film is worth seeing, so avoid if you don’t want spoilers.]

‘Take control’ Bane roars to the crowd at the Gotham Rogues stadium (played by the real life Pittsburgh Steelers ground and fans). Take control. The Dark Knight Rises is a film about precisely that: anarchy and control, the two opposing forces that govern human existence. In a week that has seen tragic events taking place in Denver, it is worth looking at the moral maze that exists within the fabric of the latest Batman movie, a film that marks a seminal moment in the politicization of the blockbuster.

The ‘rise’ motif is as crucial to the characters of The Dark Knight Rises as it would be to a group of ED sufferers. It is in the title, it is chanted, it is said. Broken Bruce Wayne has to rise from his grief to become Batman again, Gotham has to rise from the ashes of anarchy to become a cohesive city, Catwoman has to rise from common thief to hero, Gordon has to rise from idealist to soldier. It means, above all, social mobility- the rich and powerful fall, so that the little man can rise. Or so, at first glance, it seems.

It is important that the film is not entirely decontextualized. There’s a reason why Christopher Nolan choose to shoot the film’s climactic clash between police and rebels on Wall Street (even though that’s not supposed to be part of Gotham’s geography). The global financial crisis has turned bankers and their bonuses into villains that hold the same public status as war criminals and dictators. The currency of their crimes is, however, just that: currency. Money is at the heart of this film, as it has always been in the Batman franchise. Bruce Wayne is, after all, a billionaire who runs a company that, amongst other things, deals arms. Bruce Wayne is corporate; his moniker bedecks his company (Wayne Enterprises) in precisely the same manner as the great capitalist superhero, Tony Stark (Stark Industries).

On the face of it, the agenda seems quite liberal. ‘Did you think that you could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us?’ whispers Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman. Wayne and the Gotham elite are certainly shown to be ‘living large’ in their ostentatious parties (that Wayne himself openly criticises) but he is, after all, being given this piece of moral advice by a professional thief. The ‘Occupy’ movement, which has been widely referenced in relation to the movie, would describe the bankers and corporations as thieves and cast them in the role of the villain. Indeed, one of the most important villains in the film is John Daggett, a relentlessly corrupt businessman trying to take control of Wayne Enterprises. He is a thief and Nolan is unflinching in his condemnation. Catwoman is a thief but she is also the heroine of this tale, which poses the question: is it the victim of theft that decides whether it’s a crime or not? Is it morally justifiable to steal from the wealthy (she steals the family heirloom of an orphan- cold, no?), but not morally justifiable to commit large-scale corporate crime that could affect the poor?

Even Bane, a man who is seen repeatedly cracking the skulls of bystanders, is treated in a more favourable light that Daggett. The Batman series has put a lot of focus (particularly in The Dark Knight) on the fact that Batman refuses to kill his victims, an admirable moral sentiment. So why doesn’t Bane’s violence have more of an impact? Where’s the staunch condemnation of his actions? He is repeatedly referred to as ‘the mercenary’ (as is Liam Neeson’s Ra’s as Ghul) raising immediately the subject of money- he is the villain of the story so long as the audience thinks that he is acting simply for a sack of cash. As soon as Nolan reveals, however, that he is not the film’s primary villain and that his motivation is love, rather than money, our sympathies shift; we pity the monster, he becomes the antihero. Are we supposed to forget all the people that he killed? Are we supposed to forget that, in an earlier scene, he has crippled the stock exchange and devalued currency in the same way as the corporations that the film is demonising?

But is the film really demonising the capitalist ideology? Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays a number of roles in the film but his most important one is as a moral barometer. Batman is obsessed with vigilante justice, Bane is an anarchist, Catwoman is a thief but John Blake is an honest cop and, what’s better, he’s an orphan. Wayne Enterprises used to support his boy’s home but has since stopped its donation. Why? Well, as Alfred tells us, a company needs to make profit before it can give something to charity. Oh. So suddenly the machinery of capitalism is not quite so bad, in fact it’s the only thing in the city that can ensure that orphans are properly housed, above and beyond the role that government plays. Small government, big business, gets the job done, right? Not sounding very liberal now.

But, perhaps, it’s just that the film is anti-anarchy, of any sorts. But, rather than simply restoring democracy (or, indeed, remotely focusing on that part of society), the film champions the resurgence of a police state, governed by unelected officials. By the end of the film the audience is expected to cheer at a scene where the police officers are shown standing with truncheons pointed at criminals’ heads. We are expected to be excited by the knowledge that order has been restored. And who restored order? A billionaire, using weapons he has been privately developing. The NRA might be interested in holding up the Batcave as a symbol of how to successfully defend your home.

It’s left, therefore, to Catwoman to provide us with a liberal moral agenda (supposing we’ve all got over the fact that she’s a thief and killer). Yes, some wealthy people, like Daggett, deserve their comeuppance, but not for simply being rich. He buys Bane’s loyalty and is betrayed as a result, because money cannot motivate someone like Bane. Talia al Ghul earns Bane’s loyalty and he is willing to die for her. Thus, the film’s most important liberal message is taught to us by characters who spend most of the movie plotting a holocaust of Gotham’s 12 million inhabitants. Put that in your ‘Occupy’ pipe.

The Dark Knight Rises is a film that does not offer any real world ‘hope’. Yes, Batman is a symbol- ‘Anyone could be Batman’ says Bruce Waye- but it’s crucial to the story that he’s a billionaire. Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s honest cop can (and, perhaps, will) bulk up and fight crime but, without the money, he can’t afford a flying tank. Corporations might’ve brought Gotham to its knees but, according to Nolan’s dystopic vision of the future of a technology driven society, they will also provide it with charity, energy and, most significantly, save it from being blown to pieces by an atomic bomb.