Sunday 12th July 2026
Blog Page 1194

Oxford Folk: North – Blazin’ Fiddles

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Students at Oxford don’t often get the chance to look north – the Scottish highlands and islands are somewhat out of reach when you have lectures to get to that afternoon. That’s alright, though – all that’s needed is to listen to the fiddle group Blazin’ Fiddles’ latest release North, and you’ll soon realise that with music like this being created everything is good and right with the world up above the border – and with Scottish fiddle music in particular.

Like lots of good things, Blazin’ Fiddles was not completely planned. Begun in 1998 in Inverness (check the map, look north, then look even further north), the group was meant to showcase a one – off display of the various highland and island fiddle styles. Over a decade later, and North shows us all how lucky we are that they continued to work together. Though there’s been changes in the lineup, under the steady leadership of Bruce MacGregor, Blazin’ Fiddles has managed to keep at its core the values of innovative, thriving tradition, performance excellence and sparky, honest fun. And this, to be truthful, is why I was originally drawn to this inclusive, warm-hearted group – they are just so much fun to listen to. You just can’t help but smile and tap your foot!

I first encountered Blazin’ Fiddles about eight years ago, when an uncle from the distant Black Isle gave me their first album Fire On (2002). From then on my love of this group just grew and grew; how could it not, with such an infectiously, unashamedly positive approach to music? This wasn’t like other plain, introspective music my friends were listening to; this group were proud to announce and celebrate their various styles and their zest for life. North epitomises this perfectly, displaying the best of the many musical styles Blazin’ Fiddles have to offer. From the romping, get-up-and-dance feel of the first track ‘Shetland Night’, where the listener is immediately thrown into the album with a joyous cascade of fiddle music, to the soft, slow, reflective tone of ‘Java’, a gentle air led by members Rua Macmillan and Kristan Harvey whilst the other members provide a thoughtful backing of ‘musical sequins’, the sheer diversity and range of Blazin’ Fiddles never fails to amaze.

As usual with Blazin’ Fiddles, North holds another whole layer of meaning and depth. When looked at closely, each track is picked carefully and is relevant to the group. The wonderfully named tune ‘The Bacon Allocation’ was written at the group’s annual fiddle festival and school ‘Blazin’ in Beauly’, where the naming rights of tunes written by the group were auctioned off. The beautifully gentle, delicate track ‘Gamekeeper’s’ was written by member Jenna Reid for friends who had finally moved into their dream home. It’s these personal touches that somehow come through in the intimacy and intensity of the music and make Blazin’ Fiddles, and North in particular, very special indeed.

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The mix of old, traditional tunes and new writing also makes North a fascinating listen: the adaption of the old pipe tune ‘Troy’s Wedding’ is melded seamlessly with two other new tunes written and auctioned off at ‘Blazin’ in Beauly’. Much of the music is described as personal favourites of group members, or songs remembered as a child, giving the album a wonderfully close, family feel. It seems like it has been brought all the way down to Oxford from the remote Scottish islands just for you to savour and enjoy. The intricate interplay of the piano (Angus Lyon), guitar (Anna Massie) and fiddles (Jenna Reid, Kristan Harvey, Rua Macmillan and Bruce MacGregor) compels you to a second, then a third, listening, just to absorb the beautiful portrayal of the tunes selected. In particular, the stunning plucking medley overlaid by a single, singing violin at the opening of the track ‘Catch and Kiss’ is worthy of mention- and of several replays. North does not grow stale after the first run- on the contrary, it becomes more engrossing the more it is heard.

The accomplished cover art also seems to reflect the group and their ethic: four violin heads, scrolls angled to form a wave pattern not unlike the unbroken currents and breakers that lap at the Scottish islands where the music originates, suggesting simple, elegant, sophisticated music. It is in keeping with the look of their previous album covers, forming a pleasing continuum that shows North can live up to the group’s past work. North really is a joy to listen to – a stunning collection of music from the impressive range of styles and ability that is Blazin’ Fiddles. No, at Oxford we don’t often get the chance to look north: but with this latest release we can, for a short time, let the north come to us.

Ray’s Chapter & Worse: HT 0th week

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Sometimes, Oxford feels like someone has hit you in the face with a squash racket. I use this rather specific analogy because I myself have just hit someone in the face with a squash racket. It was for research purposes of course (my days of cage fighting and criminal damage were left far behind after I joined secondary school) but that doesn’t make the guilt, and the feeling of shame, any better. Hitting someone is meant to feel good, right? Letting out all that excess aggression and releasing the animal inside? Well, I nobly took it upon myself to test this theory, for the good of Cherwell, and I can conclusively say it doesn’t work – it just loses you friends. Try it yourself. If you’re in the room with someone, calmly turn and punch them in the face, and say “the Cherwell told me to do it.” It doesn’t feel cathartic at all, does it?

“But what else are we going to do?” I hear you cry. (I don’t know why you’re crying it – pull yourself together.) How else are we going to let out all that tutorial-built anger and frustration, all that library-massed energy and raw fury? Well, never fear, I have the answer. Instead of hitting someone in the face with a racket (trust me, it doesn’t work – I’ve tried), read poetry instead. And read Charles Bukowski in particular. Bukowski was one of the most rough, rude renegade poets to ever pick up a sex worker – based in Los Angeles, his work focuses on the lives of poor americans, alcohol, failed relationships, and the drudgery of life. It doesn’t get much more raw than that. “It was on my fifth joint/ That I realised/ I’d left the hooker standing on the street outside.” Steady on Charles, maybe you need a quiet lie down…

Notice by Charles Bukowski

The swans drown in bilge water,

Take down the signs, 

Test the poisons,

flog the backs of saints, 

stun frogs and mice for the cat,

Burn the enthralling paintings,

piss on the dawn,

My love

Is dead.

For sheer brutality, no one comes close to Bukowski. The short, razor-like quality of the sentences, that finally break up in the last lines. The way the list just gets darker and darker. It’s so utterly, beautifully, wonderfully bleak. Who needs the chance to accidentally hit a friend in the face with a squash racket? Just turn to Charles Bukowski instead – he expresses it so much better.

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Pipe Dreams: In Praise of the Mayonnaise Scraper

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It’s 1pm on Wednesday. Tim has escaped the grasp of the lectures which had lurched grimly on through the morning. Tim is hungry. He begins to construct a sandwich on the grungy kitchen counter. The bread is plonked. The cheese is mangled into lumps. A knife is located: he unscrews the Hellman’s.

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But what is this? Tim’s eyes do not meet with a creamy layer of virgin mayo. Oh no – there is not even enough white stuff to coat his blade. What Tim sees are the slightly yellowing contours left by the knife-work of previous lunch architects.

Does he despair? Does he surrender when faced with the smudged glass of an almost empty jar? Most certainly not: Tim endures the cruel clink of utensil on glass! He performs tricky rotational manoeuvres! He scrapes away at that jar until an inordinate amount of mayonnaise has emerged from the glassy void.

I respect people who scrape out nearly-empty jars of mayonnaise. I respect them more than I respect charity marathoners. They stand tall next to Olympians, or saints. Some might brand this view ridiculous. Some might say that for the average sandwich maker, scraping out is a necessity. Indeed, Tim doesn’t have another jar ready and waiting. Neither can he lay his hands on an alternative loaf-moistening substance.

However, I don’t accept that this is Tim’s only option. No – a lesser person might easily have cast the jar aside and reached for a pot noodle. It would be foolish to suggest that the thought had not crossed his mind. Yet Tim does not throw down his sword. Oh no. The fat lady is still gargling raw eggs backstage. The towel is most definitely still out. Like a heroically migrating reindeer, Tim justifies this simile in absolutely no way other than by his wild-eyed determination to survive. And survival for Tim means extracting enough golden Hellman’s residue to satisfactorily spread his bread.

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In the eyes of some, this perseverance shows an ethical approach to humanity’s resources. To scrape clean represents a commitment to making do with what we have. It is a small but powerful gesture of solidarity with those who dream of having even one jar of mayonnaise. For others, it is economic stupidity: a senseless expenditure of effort for worthlessly small return. Most would recognise Tim’s devotion to his condiment as an endorsement of its tastiness. (Know why it’s called Hellman’s? Cos’ Hell, Man it’s good!)

But above all, Mayo Scrapers are heroic because they KNOW. They know the glorious rush when one has managed, against all odds, to extract enough white-gold to soak a slice of crusty wholemeal. Oh for the world to know how it feels! It’s almost as wonderful as the buzz when a precariously filled bowl of rice krispies retains its structural integrity after milking. But that’s another story.

A Language of Arrival

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On Monday night, Sarah Howe brilliantly confounded many expectations by winning the T.S. Eliot Prize for 2015 with her collection, Loop of Jade (Chatto and Windus, 2015). Not only was Howe the first Asian poet to win the prize, hers was also the first debut collection to do so, coming first among a shortlist of heavyweights including Don Paterson, Claudia Rankine, and Sean O’Brien.

Perhaps inevitably, Howe’s work was immediately described through the prism of her identity as a young British Asian woman. Speaking to the Guardian, the poet Pascale Petit – who chaired the panel of judges – praised Howe’s work for “exploring the situation of women in China”, and for speaking to “the status of women in the world”. Certainly, Howe’s writing was also rightly lauded for its stylistic strengths, for its richness and erudition. But there was no escaping the sense that here was a different, global author, one who had given voice to “a culture we are not used to seeing in British poetry.”

What does it mean to be an Asian, English-language writer in Britain? Till I moved here in 2013, I had never thought of myself as an Asian, even a Chinesewriter. I had come from a young country where contours of writing are made by a shape-shifting landscape, where writers grapple often with the shadow of the state, and where classroom debates on ‘Singaporean literature’ centre on what the term even means. Coming to Oxford, I began to hear my work described in the language of arrival: I was now a minority writer, visiting the cradle of empire, responding to a history I could not claim.

There is no single answer to that question. Howe has plumbed the depths of this particular identity, among a multitude of others, by working within a language too often seen as flatly ‘colonial’ – a language she gracefully, truthfully inhabits. Like me, Howe comes from a Chinese-majority island that, until recently, has been a British colony. But similarities only extend so far. Unlike me, Howe grew up in England, went to Cambridge, and now lives and works across the Atlantic. Her poetry not only reveals a grasp of Chinese languages and cultures, but also reaches with dexterity for Roethke, Classical mythology, and the Bible. One of my favourite pieces from the collection, Banderole, is a meditation on history and etymology that utterly transcends its European earth.

If we are to see our poets through the lens of their lives – and I believe there is a strong case for doing so – let us take it all in. Much more matters than just their colour, gender, class, or education, though these may stand out, in our place and time, as categories that we identify with and struggle for. Each poet inhabits a separate universe, expressed in totality through language, and this is precisely what enables poetry to speak with such intimacy across all the borders we could possibly imagine.

The impenetrable persona of David Bowie

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In the aftermath of David Bowie’s death on Sunday, January 10, the internet has exploded with various articles on his life, his lasting effect on nearly all aspects of modern pop culture, and his most recent and final album Blackstar, which came out only two days before the artist succumbed to liver cancer, a disease he had been battling for over a year. Most articles written about Bowie focus on his ability to vacillate between and combine music styles within the same song and to immerse himself in various characters of his own creation. The BBC, as well as other publications over the artist’s more than forty year career, has taken to calling him a musical “chameleon” after one of his own songs, while the Guardian has released a plethora of articles covering nearly every aspect of his personal and professional life, and The New Yorker has taken a much more sentimental look at Bowie’s own personal character.

While Bowie certainly did have a knack for recreating genres and taking sounds and styles he heard to new extremes, it is sometimes taken for granted that there really was just one man at the root of all these performances and characters, and perhaps that’s how Bowie himself preferred things. In his early career, Bowie, or David Jones as he was originally known, struggled to find one set group of musicians that he could cooperate with creatively before finally deciding to present himself as a soloist, which is how he has remained in public perception ever since, despite the numerous duets and brief experimentations with more group-oriented collaborations.

As a child he quickly took to any sort of artistic effort, playing various instruments from the piano to the ukulele, and immersing himself in dance. The thought of a young Bowie striving to achieve stardom through whatever mode possible brings to my mind something Johnny Depp said about a year ago now at a film premiere where he called the idea of actor-musician crossovers “a sickening thing,” despite the fact that he himself dabbles in music. Depp may, however, have had in mind the series of Disney Channel actors and actresses that had transformed into pop stars after their sitcoms’ main constituent of viewers had aged out of the Disney fan base, rather than figures like Bowie. Regardless, David Bowie’s various forays into different fields of performance, especially at a time when modern art itself was swiftly disengaging from the dogmas of genre, speaks more to his own expansive capabilities than it does to any hungry pursuit of fame and fortune.

What has most struck me about David Bowie’s character, after watching what amounts to only a handful of the numerous clips from his interviews available online, is the difference in the way that Bowie interacted with the press as compared to the clips we see of celebrities being interviewed today. While it has become common practice to closely examine the quality of the line of questioning directed at performers in recent years (Recall, for example, the response to that painfully awkward interview with Cara Delevigne last year), artists have been dealing with dismissive, baiting, and sometimes just plain rude interviewers since at least the mid-twentieth century. Despite his loud costumes and vibrant on-stage presence, Bowie comes across as shy and aloof during most of his interviews, even during one conducted in 1964 regarding his involvement in the “Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Long Haired Men” as a teenager. Although the artist seems to have become a bit more open to discussing his own personal feelings in addition to his music, revealing to an interviewer at the BBC in 2002 how shaken he was by the World Trade Centre attacks in New York and that he has an “orientation towards the apocalyptic,” Bowie still seemed to take a certain delight in contradicting all of his interviewer’s attempts to analyse the meaning of his new collection of songs.  

In the coming years, fans and rock history scholars (surely there must be a degree for that somewhere), having been freed from the potential for rebuke from the man himself, will try even harder than before to break into the psyche of this rock legend, potentially altering the legacy that Bowie left behind. In some ways, Bowie’s newest album seems to preempt any attempts to co-opt his life story, though thus far it has only led to further speculation. It’s safe to assume that the artist would be happy to know that people will continue to enjoy and be awed by his music for generations to come, but his work has also always seemed to be more of a project in personal improvement, with Bowie striving constantly to best his own creativity and stretch the boundaries of conventionality, rather than an effort to reveal himself to the public. Perhaps then the best way to listen to his music, and his new album in particular, is not to listen with judgment about what each lyric or chord signifies, but rather just to listen and appreciate.

Chancellor Patten implies not fighting RMF "a treason"

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Chancellor Lord Patten of Barnes grabbed the spotlight at Vice-Chancellor Louise Richardson’s installation this Tuesday morning. In his welcome speech Lord Patten took the opportunity to criticize what he called a “threat to academic freedom from within the university community itself,” seemingly an attack on the Rhodes Must Fall movement.

“It is deeply depressing, though not perhaps surprising, that the way this issue has played out recently in Oxford has commanded far more media attention than all the wonderful academic stories that have taken place in this university over the past year,” Lord Patten said.

“Education is not indoctrination. Our history is not a blank page on which we can write our own version of what it should have been according to our contemporary views and prejudices. We work, we study, we sleep in great buildings, many of which were constructed with the proceeds of activities that would be rightly condemned today. Moreover, many who are studying here or are doing research here are assisted with financial support from similar sources,” the Chancellor added.

He struck a firm note, saying it was “intellectually pusillanimous to listen for too long without saying what we think, reaffirming the values that are at the heart of Karl Popper’s ‘Open Society’ and the generosity of spirit that animated the life of Nelson Mandela. One thing we should never tolerate is intolerance.  We do not want to turn our university into a drab, bland, suburb of the soul where the diet is intellectual porridge.”

Though the Chancellor did not mention Rhodes Must Fall by name, his comments seemed a clear reference to the movement to decolonize Oxford that has swept the university and made international headlines. 

Vice-Chancellor Richardson also seemed to allude to the protests, asking “How do we ensure that we educate our students both to embrace complexity and retain conviction, while daring ‘to disturb the universe;’ to understand that an Oxford education is not meant to be a comfortable experience […] How do we ensure that our students understand the true nature of freedom of inquiry and expression?” 

More to follow.

CINEMATRIX: HT16 0th week

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  • Let’s start with the obvious. The Golden Globes. They kind of function as the Oscars’ maitre d’, guiding all the big names to their metaphorical tables of cinematic success, and letting everyone know who probably needs to make sure they’re wearing semi-practical frockery on next month’s most famous red carpet. Here’s looking at you, Jennifer Lawrence. The idea is, if you get a nod or a gong at the Globes, it’s seventy percent certain you’re going to end up in exactly the same category, or winning exactly the same trophy, at the Academy Awards next month (bugger for the thirty percent who get their Globes as consolation prizes, but hey — it has to happen, and at least you get something shiny this year). Notable winners were Lawrence (as per usual) for Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy, Brie Larson for Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Kate Winslet for Best Supporting Actress and The Revenant for Best Drama Motion Picture. Writing’s on the Wall scooped the expected but possibly undeserved Best Original Song trophy. The most exciting win (at least, I think so) was Ennio Morricone’s Best Score award, accepted on the elderly maestro’s behalf by Quentin Tarantino. Please let this mean that the musical genius is back in the Hollywood fold. But, of course, everyone’s more interested in… yup, you guessed it, Leonardo DiCaprio. Is he in the running? Is he? Finally? Well, he nimbly picked up the Best Actor gong for his turn in The Revenant (which, along with Bridge of Spies, looks set to be this year’s biggie). But, ya know. They’ve teased us like this before. PLEASE, ACADEMY GODS. PLEASE JUST PUT THE WORLD OUT OF ITS COLLECTIVE MISERY AND GIVE LEO A SHINY GOLD MAN ALREADY. We’ll know a bit more on Thursday, when the Oscar shortlists are announced.

  • Speaking of Jennifer Lawrence, and her all round talent / affable precocity, the twentysomething serial award-snatcher looks set to team up with yet another costar old enough to be her… well, I don’t know, but it’s Javier Bardem, and I have fewer problems with this than I apparently should have as a Good Woman; because yes, there’s a major issue of implicit imbalance in an industry where a young woman can’t find a decent actor within her own age bracket, but also – hello! It’s Javier Bardem. He’s phenomenal. Should Bardem join her (it’s as yet unconfirmed he definitely has the gig), they’re going to be working under the watchful eye of none other than writer-director Darren Aronofsky, according to Variety; and therefore I can only have high hopes that this will be a gilded masterclass in all-round good (and deliciously eccentric) cinema. Awaiting with limited patience.

  • If, and I can only say if, Guillermo del Toro really does end up working with James Cameron on Cameron’s recently proposed collaboration, I can only hazard a guess at the weird and wonderful, crazy lunacy of genius filmmaking that will result. Cameron is reportedly getting del Toro on board for a remake of a 1966 movie, Fantastic Voyage. Just listen to this premise: “a bunch of scientists and a submarine are shrunken to atomic size and injected into the body of a scientist whose life is under threat” (thanks, Empire). Now, picture del Toro’s very particular aesthetic, as demonstrated in Pan’s Labyrinth and Crimson Peak. Now, imagine what this film’s canvas probably demands: internal organs brought to life as a kind of gothic architecture, rapid rivers of blood, massive globules, the human body its very own derelict fortress. It’ll be Hellboy meets Holby City. I’m such a sick person. I really, really hope this gets off the ground. 

Review: less than elementary?

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After watching the New Years Day special of Sherlock, I tried to imagine what went through Mark Gatiss’ and Stephen Moffat’s heads as they wrote the last sentence of their script. Rubbing their hands, I imagine, Gatiss might have leaned over and whispered seductively in Moffat’s ear (it is my head, no judgement) ‘those kids are going to be AMAZED. So are those women. It was a dream… a feminist dream.’

And perhaps, if no one had ever seen Sherlock or Dr Who before, The Matrix or Inception, our minds might have really been blown. As it was, Sherlock’s attempt to escape the ‘Mind Palace’ conceit felt eerily reminiscent of the Doctor’s fear of being forever trapped in his Confession Dial. It’s all getting a bit predictable. 

To briefly summarise the plot: Sherlock and Watson meet in Victorian England and decide to share a flat at 221b Baker street. Together they work to solve the mystery of the ‘Abominable Bride’, a woman who committed suicide, but seemingly rose from the dead to kill her husband and several other dastardly men. Sherlock and Watson eventually discover that the woman faked her death, and that the ghostly effects were achieved by a series of optical illusions, with the aid of a group of co-conspirators. The conspirators are in fact a group of women campaigning for suffrage, and Sherlock allows them to continue murdering the dastardly men because their cause is ultimately just. However, as the episode progresses a couple of clues reveal that the Victorian World cannot be real. Various anachronisms creep in, as Mycroft declares that ‘the virus is in the data’, and Sherlock mis-genders the murder victim. We come to learn that the entire Victorian episode is only an imaginative space of Sherlock’s mind palace, to which he has retreated to meditate on whether Moriarty, his Arch Nemesis who had previously killed himself and framed Sherlock for his murder, has faked his own death. After exorcising his demons in a scene by the Reichenbach Falls, Sherlock wakes up in the present day, and concludes that Moriarty could not have faked his own death, and is in fact dead after all. Or is he? 

Some of the episode was brilliant: like Mrs Hudson’s refusal to speak in protest of the small part she plays in Watson’s accounts of their adventures, or when Watson grows a moustache, supposedly in the attempt to keep up with the illustrator. Sherlock has always been characterised by wonderful exuberance and titillating dialogue. The relationship between Mycroft and Sherlock was, as always, brilliantly characterised, as Mycroft steadily eats himself to death just to beat Sherlock in a bet. Basically, the episode was fantastic while it remained a self-enclosed Victorian special, leaving the audience to draw parallels between the Victorian entities and their modern day counterparts. Moffatt studied English as an undergraduate, and there is a lot in his script that can be recognised as typical English student flaws: a fascination with theory and the ‘meta’, which can eventually lead an essay, or in this case a TV show, over the edge of self-indulgence. Self-indulgence, that is, encapsulated by Sherlock crying ‘elementary dear Watson’ as he throws himself off the Reichenback falls to escape from his ‘Mind Palace’. 

As for the cult of Satanic vengeful females, I’m quite divided. Part of me, with my baser film instincts, loves a secret murderous cult as much as the next woman. Certainly the discovery in St Trinian’s II that the world was ruled by a society of patriarchal free masons (true) who were trying to suppress the fact that Shakespeare was actually a woman got me very excited. But Sherlock‘s tone is different. The Ku Klux Klan robes? And the underlying assumption that the feminist movement was started up by a load of bitter, jilted brides? It’s exactly what you would expect from a load of middle-aged men trying to imagine what to role out for the Cumberbitches. 

It’s important to stress that Moffat and Gatiss are Napoleons of the TV world. The first series of Sherlock ranks perhaps with the best television made in my lifetime. Moffat is the man who wrote such Dr Who episodes as ‘Blink’, ‘The Girl in the Fireplace’, and ‘Silence in the Library’. But he now seems to be a victim of his own success, churning out the same stuff over and over again. Together, Moffat and Gatiss have tried to replace good narrative with gimmicks and dreamscapes. It’s time to get back to the fundamentals of plot and character – it’s elementary, Dear Watson.

Bexistentialism: HT16 0th Week

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My Mum has got a Fitbit. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s essentially a fancy pedometer. You might wonder what this has to do with me. After all, these Bexistentialist columns are meant to self-indulgently cover myself, not my mother. However, in the week before I escaped back to Oxford, life changed.

I understand that accrediting a transformation of lifestyle to my mother’s Fitbit may sound dramatic. But you don’t know what happened yet. You don’t know what happened the week my Mum started wearing a Fitbit. Y’see, all three of my brothers have some variant on the Fibit. Brother 2 is the main issue. “Let’s start a competition Mum” he says, before he gets into his car and drives back to his flat, far away from the chaos he just offhandedly triggered. “An innocent challenge”, I think, waving my brother goodbye from the door. “Why am I waving?” I contemplate. “Why do we feel the need to wave to people from the door?” I ponder, as my hand waves back and forth. “All ends in death” I think, “I am nothing”.

As we walk back into the kitchen, my Mum mentions that she has a new cookbook. “It’s a new take on healthy food – all about nourishing yourself, and getting that healthy glow back”. I nod my head. I wouldn’t mind a detox from the turkey and chocolate sweats. Get back in the healthy lane. “Sure Mum” I hear myself say, “that sounds cool”.

With an enthusiasm-filled mother in our midst, my father and I retreat to other areas of the house on the pretence of working. Strange smells begin to work their way up the stairs and into my bedroom. I type on, subliminally trying to separate the ambiguous smell into its separate ingredients. All I can dissect is cauliflower. I hear the clomp clomp of my mother’s shoes. She is walking around in a circle in the kitchen. I can almost hear her counting each step.

Soon we are sitting in front of plates glowing of nourishment. My Dad’s brow is furrowed, his knife and fork still dormant on the table. I stare down at my plate. I don’t think I have ever seen so much kale on one plate. Sitting on the kale is what seems to be a pile of rice, with hummus delicately balanced on top. Kale, rice and hummus.

“It’s cauliflower rice”, my Mum comments, as we prepare our first forkful. She has blended cauliflower to make it look like rice. “Amelia thinks it’s the new thing”.

The rest of the week goes a lot like this. It seems my mother is convinced that she is best friends with the writer of her new nourishing cookbook.

But dear old Amelia is soon forgotten, when, as I finish my cauliflower rice, my Mum suggests we go for a walk. In the pitch black countryside. (“We can drive to somewhere with street lights!”). We spend over an hour walking round a town, past punters and gleeful couples, for no reason.

A week later, and the kale has still not stopped. I decide it’s time to go back to Oxford. Back to a realm where ‘steps’ only refers to a tragic 90s band. Back in Ox and I’m out on the pull – it’s dinner time. No cauliflower, no kale, I’m going all out. I plunge into my chicken wings, onion rings and chips. The enthusiasm I entered the meal with dissipates. I can feel the stodge expanding within me. Oh god.

The next day, as I come back from food shopping, I put a large pack of kale in the fridge. I quickly shut the fridge door, and set off on a walk.

Professor Louise Richardson Installed as Vice-Chancellor

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Professor Louise Richardson was formally installed in a ceremony at the Sheldonian Theatre as Oxford’s 272nd Vice-Chancellor on the morning of Tuesday, 12 January. She is the first woman to hold the post of Vice-Chancellor.

Prior to joining Oxford, Professor Richardson served as the executive dean of Harvard University’s Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study and spent seven years as Principal and Vice-Chancellor of the University of St Andrews. She is an expert on the study of terrorism and the author of What Terrorists Want, published in 2006.

Harvard President Drew Faust has said about her, “Louise Richardson is a brilliant academic leader.  I had the privilege of working closely with her for six years at Harvard and came to deeply admire her analytic acuity, her organizational insight, her energy, courage and determination, and her high standards and aspirations.”

At the ceremony, before the assembled Congregation, the Chancellor, Lord Patten of Barnes welcomed Professor Richardson on behalf of the Oxford community “as the 272nd Vice-Chancellor (or there abouts) since 1230, when the scoreboard at Oxford began to register these things.”

The Chancellor also touched on recent challenges to the university, namely the difficulties of fundraising, saying that he hoped the university would be able to continue to increase alumni donations, and internal student activism.

He urged against imposing contemporary views and prejudices on the past, concluding by saying that “the point of university is not to prepare [students] to be financially successful… but to find out for themselves a bigger purpose for their lives.”

For her part, Professor Richardson outlined what she views as the challenges Oxford faces as it hopes to maintain its academic excellence and continue making the same impact it has through its history.

She said, “Universities do serve as guardians of our culture, they also serve as engines of our economy, as drivers of social mobility, as foundations of our democracy and always, as generators of new ideas.”

“The challenge for us is: What are we going to do to prove ourselves worthy of [our] extraordinary inheritance?” she added.

Professor Richardson pointed to three key external challenges: “technological change, globalization, spiraling costs and pressure for value.”

Saying that “we must educate our students with the flexibility and creativity to be prepared for jobs we cannot even imagine today,” Richardson called for Oxford to “always remain open to the potential of new technologies and have the agility to exploit the opportunities they present.”

She also cautioned that “the trend towards globalization [poses] real questions for the place of universities as national institutions as their students, staff, research funding and even teaching facilities become less and less national.”

Echoing Lord Patten’s comments, Richardson raised concerns about the need for new sources of funding, saying that “there are many factors driving up the costs of education, new technologies and global competition are two, another is investment in ensuring that those with the talent to be admitted have the resources to attend. These are all necessary costs, willingly incurred.

“Simply put, if we are going to maintain a pre-eminent position in a fast changing world we are both going to have to operate more efficiently and to generate additional sources of support.”

Richardson also alluded to the need to compete with the larger endowments of competing American universities. 

In addition to external worries, Richardson brought up three internal questions:

“First: How do we organize ourselves to ensure that we are creating the best possible environment for the remarkable academics and students drawn to work here?” 

“Second: How do we replace ourselves? How do we ensure that we are continuing to attract the very best students and scholars?”

“Third: How do we ensure that we educate our students both to embrace complexity and retain conviction, while daring “to disturb the universe;” to understand that an Oxford education is not meant to be a comfortable experience?”

Richardson concluded by appealing to the Congregation to join her in “[making] the most of the time we have here in this privileged, magical, extraordinary place to leave it better than we found it. Let’s keep our eyes firmly fixed on the future, without forgetting the traditions that bind us to our forebears and the values and interests that unite us to one another.”