It is every student’s curse to get through money at an alarmingly fast rate. Save all you want, the minute your hard-earned cash is safely deposited in the bank it seems to have vanished, with interest. Much like socks, you never seem to have enough of it.
This strange state of affairs, along with battels, may go some way towards explaining why you’re already into your overdraft and feeling like a bit of extra cash to fund your newly acquired drinking habit. Of course, being a student, getting a job is completely out of the question. Working the floor of Miss Selfridge is hardly a good way to unwind after an all-nighter, and whilst you’re not exactly lazy, there’s no way you’re giving up your daily 2pm wake-up call. Not to mention the University’s cruel rules about jobs in term-time.
So what on earth is a poor cash-strapped student meant to do? Starve, or worse, live off hall food all term? If scavenging the streets of Oxford isn’t quite your bag, maybe it’s time to seek some help. For the creative there are myriad ways to earn a little extra dough. In case you’re too lazy to think of them yourself, we’ve put together a guide to help you on your way. Sell your soul, sell your friends’ souls, hell, even sell their bodies. The unscrupulous are always minted. If you’re lucky, you won’t even have to get out of bed. Play the Trading Game

It may be an old trick, but there’s still an offensive amount of money to be made through ebay, and where better to start than with gig tickets? Ticket touting is a veritable industry in its own right, to the extent that the Culture Minister Tessa Jowell has hosted a series of ‘ticket touting summits’, with the aim of eradicating it entirely. Whilst Ms Jowell has branded it “the preserve of people with bulging wallets”, it’s unlikely that your average student would ever describe their own wallet in such terms. So no guilt required.
The process is, of course, undeniably tedious. For outrageously popular events it could involve hours on the phone, sampling the tinny delights of ‘XXX’, or a good forty minutes of hitting ‘refresh’ on the relevant website. But should you succeed in getting the golden tickets in question, the financial reward to be reaped could be staggering. The Spice Girls Reunion Tour in January of next year, for example, has proved highly lucrative for touts, with one cheeky ebay user demanding a starting price of £800 for a pair of tickets with a £150 face value. I’ll give you a moment while you convert that into the equivalent number of bottles of Moët/handbags/tailor made suits.
Unfortunately, this looks to be an industry in decline, with Glastonbury organisers already cracking down on the tout phenomenon by requiring photo ID and several lengthy forms in order to purchase festival tickets. It could only be a matter of time before this stringent method of buying tickets becomes widespread.
No matter though, for there are plenty of other markets to be exploited. Snapping up new games consoles, for example, or limited edition products (think speciality I-pods, Kate Moss clothes ranges, Star Wars memorabilia) is a guaranteed bread-winner. Free Stuff

More fun than actually doing anything at all to get money, is just being given it. Free money is a beautiful thing. And Oxford just happens to be full of it. OK, it’s not in note form, but you can save yourself a lot of time (which is money) by snatching up the freebies offered at some of Oxford’s many events.
You need never again buy your own pens/paper/highlighters/paperclips/USB sticks/lip balm/mugs or any number of other commodities after attending a corporate careers fair. With a little bit of luck you might walk out with a job prospect. But if all else fails you can always pick up a free stress ball for when your bank balance hits rock bottom and you realize you only have £50 to last the rest of the term. Freshers’ Fair is particularly full of goodies, which include £1 Oxford tube passes, free Blackwells’ mugs and lots of eager people who want to pay you to do things.
Of course, when times are desperate, there is one source of a guaranteed handout: parental visits. Turn up looking scruffy and forlorn, emphasise how little you’ve been eating. Perhaps throw in something about how expensive things are these days. A real professional won’t be wearing socks – you just can’t afford a new pair. Finally turn on the water-works and ask daddy for some cash…  Legal Loopholes

Cheating is an unpleasant word. It implies dishonesty, corruption and deceit. Cheating the system, on the other hand, is a blow for the proletariat, and it’s bound to get you a cash bonus. Vive la revolution!
There are of course, moral issues here. Cheating is cheating and somewhere along the way someone is losing out. So remember, we in no way condone or promote cheating in any way. We are merely pointing out certain flaws in the system which some mean spirited individuals might find it convenient to exploit.
A great place to start is your college. Unversity is an expensive place and colleges rightly recognise the need to help students financially. For those in need grants are many, varied and completely legitimate. They are also means tested, and so not available to any old student who has irresponsibly stretched the limits of theirbank manager’s kindness. However, colleges also have a strange amount of money that they are are just itching to give away to anyone, so get downloading those application forms.
At Christ Church every single student is eligible for a book grant of £140. Regretting not applying there? Never fear, if in need other colleges usually have some form of bursary to help you along with your studies. Of course you’d never dream of spending this on anything other than drinks. Travel grants are equally lucrative ways of getting some cash from college. Describe the many things you think you could be given £500 to travel the world, then proceed to sit back on a beach and perhaps take a look at some of that holiday reading. Take A Chance

A risky business, it has to be said. If you have a notoriously addictive personality, or can’t predict a match result to save your life, then perhaps stay clear of this particular money-making method. 
Some bookies offer a generous start-up bonus to lure in the online and real-life punters. Put in £10, for example, and a company might give you an initial bonus of £25 to bet with. Make sure you’ve perfected the art of your chosen game before embarking on a glittering gambling career and you may never make a loss. Get some practice in with the Oxford Poker Society
Should you find yourself with a few hundred pounds cluttering up your student account, you could always play it safe and bet on a match where one team is almost certain to win. Think Brazil versus Man City. Given the pitiful odds offered by the bookies, you’ll have to risk a considerable amount of money to make a profit, but after three or four big wins you could be lunching at Quod four times a week. Become a Walking Advert

Consumerism is a terrible thing. You see something, you want it, you buy it, and voila, you’re still broke. A slave to the producer, you dutifully trapse to store after store to buy useless goods you’ll never use, all because you read something, somewhere which said you had to have it. How to break this vicious cycle? A simple return to an old adage should be enlightening: ‘If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.’
If you’re tired of wasting your money buying useless stuff, flog it to your friends instead and get paid. It’s amazing how far advertisers will go to get their product noticed by the right market. Offering to advertise on your blog/facebook/body can earn you a tidy sum in as much time it takes to set up a facebook group.
Don’t feel like shamelessly exploiting your friends? Try promoting yourself. For men, sperm donation can be a quick fix to financial difficulty. £30 a pop, and you’re getting paid to do something routine. New legislation means that there’s always the danger of being tracked down by a mini you in twenty years’ time though, so use with caution. Less dangerously,  exploit any talent you have, particularly a musical one. Sharing it with the world can be a beautiful, and lucrative, thing. Ever wondered how much the buskers on Cornmarket earn in a Saturday afternoon? Lots. Sometimes £20 per hour or more. It’s colder than simply getting an advertiser to pay you for some e-space, but it can be more satisfying. And of course, the greater the pain, the larger the gain. Look as young as you can to exaggerate your musical skill.  All in the name of medicineIf it’s good enough for the humble guinea pig, then surely it will suffice for the penniless undergraduate. You can offer yourself up as a test subject for a range of different experiments involving different levels of risk. Comfortingly, all experiments the Psychology Department requests its students to carry out are pleasingly non-life threatening, and require relatively little effort. Adverts for these experiments frequently pop up on facebook (keep your eyes on the left hand advert bar), or are plastered on faculty and JCR noticeboards.
One recent study required all participants to take a new form of anti-depressant drug for a week, after which they were examined to see if their energy levels and general happiness had increased. Each individual was then shown a series of video clips, showing images of a sexual, violent or tear-jerking nature, and their emotional responses recorded. A bizarre experience, certainly, but hopefully not a particularly painful one. Be warned – the number of experiments you can put yourself up for per year is limited, so choose carefully.
Needless to say, experiments advertised by organisations other than Oxford University should be avoided at all costs. Whilst experiments conducted by our Department of Experimental Psychology are governed by the British Psychological Society guidelines, the same cannot necessarily be said for other sources. Horror stories about experiments gone horribly wrong are rare, but exist nevertheless. And in all honesty, allowing someone to inject you with a dodgy form of a rogue malaria virus doesn’t seem enormously sensible. 

by Heather Ryan  

Malcolm X, Ronald Reagan, Yasser Arafat, Helen Clark… try spotting the odd one out. The Prime Minister of New Zealand is perhaps one of the lesser-known politicians to have graced the Oxford Union with their presence, but her achievements suggest such obscurity is undeserved. The first female Prime Minister of New Zealand to win office at a General Election, Clark has overseen radical changes to her nation’s welfare system. In her speech – surprisingly well-attended given that it was on Monday of 0th week – these were outlined: 8 increases to the minimum wage in as many years, an increase in employment levels, and a reduction of unemployment to 3.6%. Her government is as notable for its positions on international affairs and green issues as it is for its commitment to social justice, and much of Ms. Clark’s talk focused on the themes of her foreign policy.

While the somewhat uninspiring delivery detracted from my enjoyment of the speech, the content itself was interesting, centring on the themes of New Zealand’s foreign and environmental policies. The country’s commitment to nuclear disarmament was discussed, as was the active role in international peacekeeping played by the New Zealand army.

Clark described New Zealand as "clean and green", and also advocated her government’s support for human rights, interfaith dialogue and international aid.

She concluded by contrasting the UK and New Zealand, suggesting that while we share many values and beliefs, due to geographical separation the focus of our diplomatic and trade relationships is different. Several insightful questions followed, including a criticism of her government’s rejection of nuclear energy, which Clark rebutted confidently and fluently. I was left in no doubt that the Prime Minister is principled, articulate, and a liberal through and through; it’s just a shame that her public speaking skills undersell her.

By Joy Wong 
WYCLIFFE HALL’S troubles continue following the resignation of another Council member in protest at the PPH’s governance this week.
Claire MacInnes announced her resignation in a letter to the Council’s chair, the Bishop of Liverpool, which was forwarded to the Church of England’s newspaper.
Her resignation follows last term’s crisis when five academic staff quit in protest at the way the Hall was being run, in particular the actions of its Principal, Christian Evangelist Reverend Dr Richard Turnbull.
In the letter she claimed that that the Council had “failed to observe due process” in its dealings with the staff.
“I am disturbed by the Council’s failure to respond to allegations of bullying, intimidation of Council members and a lack of transparency in its decision-making,” she said. “I regret I have no confidence in the chair, the Principal or the Council as a whole to address these serious matters of governance, employment practice and simple human relationships.”
Her letter suggests that a decision to pay Turnbull a salary thousands of pounds above national pay scales was not properly appraised by the Council when he was appointed.
MacInnes said she decided to put the letter in the public domain because of the “importance of the issues for the ongoing welfare and governance of the Hall and the wider church.”
Wycliffe Hall has been the focus of a dispute involving allegations of a culture of bullying and intimidation, and an ultra-conservative attitude to women.
Complaints have focused on the Turnbull’s management style and his appointment of Rev Simon Vibert as Vice-Principal, who made public his belief that women should not teach men.
Turnbull has denied allegations that he is a member of conservative religious groups, saying, “I am not a member of any Evangelical pressure group and never have been.”
The governing Council of the PPH announced a review of the Hall’s governance this week.
A Council statement issued on Tuesday said, “The Council has embarked on a major review of its governance and a new development strategy for the future of the Hall in the light of changing patterns of ministerial formation. This inevitably involves changes that are unsettling.
“Wycliffe is committed to maintaining its Evangelical ethos and its international reputation for excellence in theological education, ministerial formation, and training for Christian leadership in the Church and the world.”

On women they are multitaskers: suckling aids, an indication of sexual arousal, a work of art; on men they do little more than resemble mosquito bites and have no obvious function. The answer to the enigma of male nipples lies under the microscope.
In the first few weeks of development, each embryo is effectively bisexual. The base template for humans includes nipples, which continue to develop fully if the foetus gains female characteristics, and become redundant if the Y chromosome kicks in and testosterone starts pumping around the developing foetus. As it is more effective for the body to keep what has already been added than to remove parts, the nipples remain.
In fact, male nipples are not entirely redundant. They contain all the essentials of functioning organs and are connected to blood vessels, nerves and even milk ducts. Men do possess the milk-producing gland but this only develops if there are sufficient quantities of oestrogen present.
Some male babies contain an overdose of their mother’s oestrogen when born, causing them to lactate dramatically upon suitable stimulation. Rather than imagine why anyone would want to rub a baby’s nipples on the remote chance that milk might spurt forth, let’s leave this so-called phenomenon of “witches’ milk”.
It is not only newborn male babies who could rival Moo Moos for milkshakes, but also some grown men and teenagers. Gynaecomastia is the clinical term for abnormal enlargement of the breasts. While this might be every lads-mag fantasy, it’s not such a turn-on when it applies to men themselves.
Certain diseases or hormonal conditions, including many provoked by excess consumption of alcohol, can cause breast tissue to grow and men to lactate. In a particularly unsexy turn of evolution, it is teenage boys who most frequently suffer such a fate.
Redundant nipples are present in most male mammals, whilst in other genera, such as horses and mice, the male sex hormones completely prevent nipple growth. On the contrary, female possums are endowed with between seven and twenty five nipples, making our own two seem rather pitiful.
In fact, in the early stages of human development, up to seven pairs of nipples are arranged along a “milk line” running from the upper chest to the navel. Usually only one pair develops but aproximately one in a hundred people have a third mole-like nipple.

David Taylor defends the right of the state to act on behalf of its population The term ‘nanny state’ is usually meant to be derogatory and tends to be employed by those who fear too much obstruction of personal freedom by government. Even those accused of creating such a state deliberately distance themselves from ‘nanny statism’, at least rhetorically. Government ministers frequently deny that they have any intention of creating such a state. However, it is rare that the phrase is properly defined or that critics suggest any viable alternative.
Here is my definition of the phrase: a nanny state is one in which a government acts on behalf of its citizens in an attempt to prevent the development of serious health crises. It is very difficult to find someone who genuinely disagrees with this principle. Much as we like to believe that we have control of our own bodies and that our personal health is our responsibility, many of the things that most affect our health are completely out of our control. One example is the driving of motorists. When drink driving legislation was first proposed, it was decried as being part of a drive to create a ‘nanny state’. There are also those who have opposed vaccination programmes, motorcycle helmets and the ban on smoking on public transport. However, in each case the majority of citizens have realised the genuine health benefits of such regulation and the dissenters fade to a small hardcore who probably regard the existence of any government at all as an affront to their personal freedom.
Another more recent example is that of the public smoking ban, which came into force on the 1st July 2007. There are those who regard this as a breach of civil liberties and as unnecessary. However, they should perhaps consider the freedom of those who have to work in public places that prior to the ban were smoke filled.
A government must feel able to take action for its people which it believes will, in the future, be beneficial towards the majority of  the population. Whilst some individuals within society may be unable to see the long-term benefits of new legislation, the government must be given the right to act on their behalf, in the hope that in the long run their actions will be recognised as sensible. Whilst our leaders must remain entirely accountable for any legislation they choose to introduce, they must also have the freedom to do the job we elected them to carry out. After all, if we elect a government only to constantly hold back any attempted improvements, then doesn’t that make it more or less redundant?

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 Freddie Parton rebels aginst government control of our actions and our minds.The government is worse than a nanny. It has become like those teachers at school who in sickeningly sweet voices refuse to let you do things because they are too dangerous or difficult.
The amount of ‘risk assessment’ forms that we have to fill in when organising any trip are ridiculous. It’s impossible to assess risks, because they are unpredictable by definition. How long is it going to take people to realise that life is full of dangers that cannot be neatly broken down into bullet points? By always worrying about what could go wrong, people kill all sense of adventure and spontaneity. If we accept that danger is out there, what’s wrong with facing it?
The irony is that the government’s avid concern for public safety is actually putting people’s lives in more danger. Look at Jordon Lyon who drowned, trying to save his eight-year-old sister, whilst two community support officers just stood and watched on the grounds that they did not have sufficient training to save him. The government’s obsession with health and safety has destroyed the natural human reaction to help someone in distress, and has replaced it with a calculating spirit of selfishness.
How can the emergency services be so concerned about their own personal safety, when danger and risk must be part of the job description? A new fire station in Plymouth has been built without a traditional ‘fireman’s pole’ after fears that the servicemen might hurt their ankles. How can we expect these ‘fire fighters’ to save us from burning buildings when they’re not fit enough to slide down a pole!
It’s not just physical dangers that the government are trying to ‘protect’ us from. They are also concerned with the risks of overstretching our minds.
You may remember the criticism that Nigella Lawson received from the government this summer that her cookery books were too difficult for people to understand because of their ‘complicated words’ and ‘long sentences’. How can they judge what is too difficult for the general public to understand? As Ron Liddle put it, Nigella’s ‘hardly Marcel Proust, is she?’
Why the government are trying to control our cook books I don’t know, but it is a good example of how their concern for the public’s welfare has gone too far. Things in life are always going to be tough and hard to understand. Surely we should try to face these difficulties rather than pretend they don’t exist.

By Mohsin Khan
OUSU Council will today debate a motion that demands richer colleges pay more money to poorer colleges as part of the College Contribution Scheme (CCS).
If passed, the motion would support the continuation of the CCS and ask that richer colleges contribute more to the scheme in proportion to their wealth, and that conference income from all colleges be ‘taxed’ less.
The College Contribution Scheme was created in 1973 to redistribute wealth from colleges with larger endowments, such as Nuffield and St John’s College, to colleges with smaller endowments, for example St Peter’s and Lady Margaret Hall.
Tom Lowe, JCR President of Hertford College and proposer of the motion, highlighted the disparity that exists between Oxford colleges’ wealth.
“I believe the CCS should be made stronger so richer colleges pay more. A good example of the massive difference in college wealth is All Souls College. The assets of All Souls are £224 million, in contrast to Mansfield College which is probably the smallest of the colleges. Mansfield’s assets are £11 million. A pretty big contrast,” he said.
A majority of colleges are paying a smaller proportion of their endowment income than when the scheme was created. From 1973 to 2003, the total contributions to the fund have declined from 11.2% to 4.5%.
Total endowment income for the University is around £80 million a year, of which almost £10 million comes from St John’s College. In contrast, the poorest major undergraduate college, Keble, has an endowment income of only £500,000.
The amount that richer colleges currently contribute is not entirely based upon their assets or endowment income. Lowe suggested that differences in college wealth were unjustified, and could lead to a system where colleges were offering significantly different academic standards.
“Richer colleges will say endowment successes are down to good investment,” he said. “In reality, good investment is only part of it. A lot of it comes down to historical accident.
“If you have rich colleges getting richer, and poorer colleges not getting comparatively richer, then you’re likely to end up in a situation where degrees from the colleges mean different things.”
The motion demands that taxation on conference income be reduced, as poorer colleges rely more heavily on conference income than richer colleges.
It also argues that wealthier colleges are better equipped to increase their income than poorer colleges, as they are able to use their premises for conferences and to hire better research fellows than poorer colleges.
The proposed introduction of the Joint Research Allocation Method (JRAM) for distributing money between colleges will give more money to those which conduct research. As richer colleges achieve higher research ratings, these colleges are likely to receive more money from the Government than poorer colleges.
Colleges are funded from four other sources besides the CCS: endowment income, through donations, by hiring out of premises for conferences and by HEFCE grants from the Government. Fees paid directly to colleges by the Government were abolished in 2001, increasing the dependence of poorer colleges upon the CCS.
The Conference of Colleges, the University body charged with investigating the CCS, is due to release a separate report later this term.

 
 
 
 





Christ Church 2 – Balliol 6

HAVING just missed out promotion to the Premier Division last season, Christ Church would no doubt have been hoping to begin the long process of atonement with a win against newly promoted Balliol. It was certainly not to be, however, as Balliol produced an emphatic early-season performance that will certainly lend weight to their promotion chances.

Balliol can attribute much of their victory to fine performances from Rory Campbell, and in particular David Lawson, who had a debut to remember as he bagged a hat trick.

Lawson’s season started in perfect fashion, as he beat Christ Church defence who appeared to still be on vacation to round a fine move by Balliol.

Christ Church managed to find their way into the game after conceding, and were much the better side for the next twenty minutes. Pacy striker Bola Ogidan was a definite threat, and he should have equalised after fifteen minutes, but after having been released he shot tamely against the keeper.

Then, all of a sudden, Christ Church found themselves two goals down. From a Christ Church corner, Ted Maxwell broke with terrific pace, and earned his side a corner. Christ Church totally failed to clear their lines, and defender Andy Salisbury smashed a powerful header against the post. Not to worry, though, as he duly stuck the rebound away.

Ogidan then hauled Christ Church back into the game, winning a penalty as a Balliol defender bundled him over rather unceremoniously, despite his initial shot having been saved by the keeper. Andy Sissons stepped up and calmly sent the keeper the wrong way.

And it was so nearly all square with just two minutes of the second half gone. Sissons swung in a fabulous left footed corner that hit the bar, with the keeper two yards off his line.

Despite Christ Church dominating the next fifteen minutes, they did their level best to throw the game away as James Corke-Webster launched into a challenge that could only be described as clumsy on Maxwell. However, skipper Ian Mainwaring temporarily kept his side in the game, making a fine save low to his right from Campbell’s penalty. Indeed, without some terrific saves from their captain, Christ Church could quite easily have conceded ten.

The penalty reprieve lasted a mere two minutes, as a suicidal back pass was intercepted by Maxwell, who rounded Mainwaring and fired into an unguarded net.

The concession of the third goal seemed to shatter Christ Church’s confidence, and after enjoying a strong twenty minutes, Balliol scored, albeit somewhat fortuitously. Mainwaring made another tidy save from Jamie Hill’s run, but Lawson headed the rebound home.

By this point Christ Church were shambolic. Ogidan sped onto a through ball, but managed to shoot five yards wide, and from the resulting goal kick Campbell worked the ball to Lawson. His initial shot was blocked, but he retained the ball, powerfully beat his marker and arrowed his shot in off the post.

Even after a frenzied second half, there was still time for two more goals in stoppage time. The first was a consolation for Christ Church, as Andy Sissons fired in from the edge of the box. At least they thought it was a consolation. From the kick off Campbell angled a ball across the box, and Julian Rose swept home. Mercifully for Christ Church, that was the final action of a manic second half.

For Christ Church, some urgent defensive work is clearly required. For Balliol, what a season appears to be in store.

 Despite an impressive supporters contingent at Iffely Road, the Oxford Brookes rugby team was sent back up Headington Hill on Wednesday after failing to convert determination into points.

A strengthened Greyhounds team that mixed newcomers with capped Blues was woken into action by the Brookes' 15, just moments after kick-off when he converted a penalty to take Brookes into the lead. The response was not long in coming however, as Allfrey fed to Humphrey-Baker in midfield who made a trademark break, releasing Oxford's full-back to score in the corner. Shortly after, a chip into the corner set Jonan Boto up to dive in a second try, which was also converted successfully. Having found some momentum, the Greyhounds employed the catch and drive tactic, which resulted in third try, grounded by fresher Chris Davies and duly converted.

When Brookes finally reached Oxford's twenty-two the scrum half initiated a comeback, scoring a try just before half-time, taking the score to 21-10.

Returning to play, the pressure on the visitors was maintained after half-time, but a few careless handling errors prevented Oxford from scoring. An outside break leading to a try and conversion for Brookes' speedy full-back brought the scoreline closer, but Oxford's response was not slow in coming; Tomaszczvk burst through the defence to score under the posts. With the Headington crowd's jeering creating a home atmosphere for the away team, Brookes' had a few breaks in the latter part of the game, but the Iffley-based forwards remained dominant at both scrum and breakdown. The 'hounds will need maximum composure if they are to improve on the final score of 34-17 at the away fixture later this term.

by Hannah Pennington 

Cooking beans in your kettle is one of those opportunities to revel in your student status. When you’re not at home and your mum can’t throw a wobbler, you can eat whatever you choose. You can exult mischievously in eating your favourite concoction of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, stage a covert rebellion by eating breakfast at four in the afternoon and devour late night greasy kebabs without that guilty aftertaste of your mum’s raised eyebrows. But there is a reason why when you’re in Oxford you always crave a classic, homely Sunday lunch with crisp roast potatoes and lashings of gravy. Student cooking on a budget only remains a novelty for a few weeks, a month at most. So if you’re far from delighted by the prospect of sharing a grotty fridge, tackling the mountains of washing up and doing constant battle with mental arithmetic as you traipse up and down the supermarket aisles then read on for inspired tips, shopping tactics and some common sense solutions.

A student spends on average about £29 a week on food but the odd lunch out with friends in the covered market, grabbing a coffee in between lectures, indulging in a curry for your crew date and buying a bottle of vodka or a few cans with your weekly shop will leave you with little change. In student vernacular keeping it cheap and cheerful is often synonymous with a poor diet. Pre-term intentions of cooking from scratch and experimenting with fresh ingredients fade rapidly in the face of essay crises and the tempting ease of microwave ready meals. According to recent surveys the average student puts on 11 pounds in their first year and many students would readily admit that it is attributable to tucking into late night chips and grabbing quick on-the-go solutions when the hunger pangs strike.

So how do you avoid eating endless portions of tomato pasta, special offer ready meals and, well, beans on toast? All too often you end up trying to budget-buy on the wrong things. It is easy to become unwittingly sucked in by the supermarket’s calculatingly placed three-for-two offers and suddenly you find a shelf full of tins and tins of tuna but no mayo for a sandwich, no cheese left to make a bubbling pasta bake and no time to cook a jacket potato. Co-ordinating a kitchen cupboard is like co-ordinating a wardrobe: make sure that the items in your basket go well together.

If your student diet is based on toast and cereal and you find yourself googling Delia to ask if it’s possible to make an omelette without eggs then start by evaluating the contents of your cupboard. According to Jamie Oliver a student’s store cupboard should always contain salt, olive oil, fresh lemons and fresh garlic along with a home grown herb box on your windowsill filled with a range of aromatic herbs including thyme, rosemary, basil, sage, mint and oregano. Fat chance, when it’s far easier to keep a couple of cans of soup on standby to cover all eventualities. When I asked one student how he dealt with buying ingredients and conjuring up meals on a budget, he gave me this key philosophy, ‘Cooking at university is all about stretching the realms of accepted flavours and bunging in whatever you can find in the cupboard, why shouldn’t Jiff lemon juice and baked beans go in a curry?’ Students are renowned for creating bizarre eating habits: one student recommends tuna, cold baked beans and crisps whilst another claims to have eaten a diet consisting solely of cornflakes, halloumi cheese and diet coke.

Make yourself some rules to lug round the supermarket with your basket. Firstly always buy versatile ingredients, rather than buying a whole jar of spices you will never finish before it sails past its sell by date, buy a jar of curry paste; mix it with yoghurt to make a fresh tasting curry; add it to fried potatoes to make a Bombay version; fry a bit of leftover chicken in it for your sandwiches or add it to your rice to give every grain kick and colour. If you need to prove to your mother you can cook when she comes up for a visit, have a cheesecake ready in the fridge by creating a base of crushed biscuits, mixing some soft cheese with the zest and juice of a lemon and a mound of sliced strawberries on top for decoration.Once you have sussed a shopping routine enlist your housemates to share the cooking and washing up. If each of you cooks once a week you are well on the way to a varied, stress-free diet. Minimize the washing up pile by always opting for one pot dishes; for example, try out the oven baked Thai chicken rice and adapt it according to your taste (and your store cupboard). Do multiple variations of the same dish, turn omelettes into Spanish potato tortillas, Chinese egg fried rice or vegetable fritters. Cooking requires a blend of experience and bravery, but if you are short of one of these two vital ingredients then just supplement one with the other. ‘Practice makes perfect’ really is the maxim of learning to cook so step away from the student stereotype and head to Cowley road to find cheap, fresh fruit and vegetables, buy yourself a book of ‘one-pot’ recipes to save on the washing up, learn timesaving tactics by freezing leftovers and outwit your housemates by labelling every dish as ‘fusion cooking.’ If all else fails. the baked beans wont go off in a hurry.

This is the winning start that Christ Church would have been hoping for, and although an important victory in its own right, it was all the more important as it demonstrated this was a team still moving forward, despite the loss of some big players last year.

The game started on a very even footing, and when Exeter spent 10 minutes camped inside the Christ Church 22, some of the men in white may have feared a repeat of last year's comprehensive Exeter victory. However a huge clearing kick from fly-half Ashley Gillard, followed by a lineout steal from in-form lock Matt Podger begun a second quarter which Christ Church dominated comprehensively. They scored three tries, all of them converted by Gillard's ever-reliable boot. The stand out gem of these scores was a fantastic individual effort by Jamie Holdoway, running hard from full-back and leaving tacklers in his wake to touch down under the posts.

With the score 21-0 at half time, the House players appeared confident of being able to seal victory, even with a player lost to the sin-bin. This confidence seemed well placed as they scored the first try of the second half to stretch their lead. However Exeter were not yet dead and buried, and they came back into the game with two tries, including a classy run down the blind side by scrum half Quentin Macfarlane. With both of these tries converted, those watching could have been forgiven for thinking that the game was turning around. However Exeter let their concentration lapse and spilled the kick-off. From the resulting scrum, a crisply worked backs move saw debutant outside centre Andy Sprague cutting through the smallest of gaps, and although he was felled by an excellent covering tackle, he managed to offload in contact and see the ball touched down to effectively end the match as a contest.

Captain Christopher Perfect described Christ Church's first half performance as “…the best I've ever seen us play…” and felt that with this kind of solid forward platform combining well with the pace and skill of the backs, the House's chances were strong going into next weeks game against Trinity/LMH. However this Exeter team must try to recover from their performance today, and will need to improve if they are to maintain their place in this division.