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Bild (sensationalist red-top) columnist Franz Josef Wagner always writes a letter to a person or  group as his regular newspaper piece. His latest one is one to cut out and keep, or at least to laugh at:

Dear Hillary Clinton,

You are like a bird that rises rejuvenated from the ashes. For the ancient Greeks, the phoenix was the symbol of second chance.

All the TV pundits, the pollsters, CNN, Spiegel Online, the BBC, BILD, me, even Bob Woodward, the legendary Watergate reporter for the Washington Post, were wrong in their analyses.

Hillary Clinton was a casserole fowl [eh?], shattered by everything. And suddenly Hillary Clinton cries in a coffee shop in New Hampshire.

The world media’s failure was not to view the tears as genuine. When a woman cries, no biological secret comes out of her eyes [‘scuse me?]. A woman who cries should be hugged and patted on the back.

Hillary Clinton achieved it with tears.

Warmest regards,

F. J. Wagner

I can’t be bothered to translate any more, so German speakers can check out Wagner’s previous letter, in which he describes Hillary’s marriage to Bill as

a flower pressed inside a poetry anthology.

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The REAL election '08

The boss is in trouble. State Prime Minister Roland Koch is being branded a racist for a pre-election statement… and his critic is a familiar name. According to a report:

Wading back into German politics after a long break, former Chancellor Gerhard Schröder this week launched a blistering attack on Chancellor Angela Merkel and Roland Koch, the conservative premier of the western state of Hesse, charging them with inciting racial hatred and damaging Germany's image.

His crime? Saying to a Bild interviewer:

How much are we prepared to take from a small proportion of violent youths, who frequently have a foreign background? We have spent too long showing a strange sociological understanding for groups that consciously commit violence as ethnic minorities.

The widely-read Deutsche Welle (whose purpose, I understand, is to put Germany in a good light around the world) calls the whole thing straight out a

Xenophobic election campaign,

which assumes that Koch’s lying with the outright intention of inciting racial hatred. The head of Germany’s Central Council of Jews goes rather OTT:

The standard of Premier Roland Koch's election campaign hardly differs from that of the NPD [the Neo-Nazis].

Erm, except the violence and the racism and the ethnic cleansing. Let's not get too carried away.

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For a while I’ve thought the dull German media could do with an injection of the Murdoch treatment. And it seems my wish has been granted. It emerged today that the media mogul has bought almost 15% in Premiere,  Germany’s biggest Pay TV network. It apparently cost him €287m, and reports say he’s satisfied with the stake at the moment and doesn’t plan to increase it.It’s not much at the moment. Premiere, a bit like Sky, is big on the sport (it broadcasts live Bundesliga games each week), but unlike Sky, it’s no giant and hasn’t conquered the global news, sport and film agenda that Murdoch has already got in the UK and the USA. What’s more, his last foray into the German scene ended with the collapse of Kirch, another Pay TV network, after an ITV Digital-style disaster in 2002. But it’s a start, and one thing may lead to another. Let’s hope it does, and maybe things may get more exciting over here.In other news, check out the latest post on Harry de Quetteville’s Telegraph blog for an entertaining and concise take on 2007 in Germany, what to expect in 2008, why the upcoming regional elections are important and why Prenzlauer Berg is a very strange part of Berlin.

The REAL election '08The wonderfully named Guido Westerwelle, leader of Germany's centre-right liberal Free Democrats, has taken after Hillary Clinton (and everyone else) and called in his speech in Stuttgart today for 2008 to be a year of "politische Wende". That translates – you guessed it – as "political change".Originality clearly isn't a strength for politicians.
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Enough about this FA Cup magic nonsense already! There's one reason why no one cares about the FA Cup any more. The final's no longer the only football match live on the telly each season. That's it. It's that simple. Football's moved on. Now we have the Champions League, and the FA Cup's just another fairly minor competition. Stop trying to engineer 'magic' and face the truth!That's got nothing to do with Germany. Sorry.

Welcome back, and happy new year.

Three weeks tomorrow, the state of Hesse goes to the polls in the regional elections certain to get zero coverage abroad. So I thought I’d do my best to keep you up to date with the ever so slightly overshadowed elections for the regional parliament here.

I know they sound minor, but the poll could give a good indication of how the national government are doing in Germany since their election in 2005. Angela Merkel, who became Chancellor of a Grand Coalition in a close election in September ’05, has struggled with reforms (including very unpopular plans to axe minimum wages for postal workers – not made easier by her having to work in coalition with the socialist SPD) and in the last few weeks has become the black sheep in Europe after she cried foul over EU plans to fine car manufacturers whose products hurt the environment. The plans, she says, would wreck the already suffering German car market.

Both moves are opposed by the left, but her strength on the international stage and a commitment to destroy German socialism are surely precisely the reasons she won two and a half years ago.

Only five of the 16 federal states have had regional elections since Merkel was in power, so how the Hessian candidates do should give us a good idea of the CDU’s popularity two and a bit years in. The CDU took almost 50% of the popular vote in 2003 at the last state vote, so any decrease on that would look distinctively bad for a party that won so closely on a national level.

Opinion polls don’t look good for them: the best poll for them puts them on just 43%, despite the emergence of the widely-publicised Die Linke, the far-left party with ads everywhere and a clear determination to have a real say. They may take votes off the rather establishment SPD, whose former leader Gerhard Schroeder was Chancellor for 8 years. In fact, the huge number of left-wing parties involved (SPD, the Greens, Die Linke and the Party for Social Equality) does a damned good job of splitting the liberal vote between like-minded groups. Maybe this will help the CDU. It doesn't seem to be doing so at the moment! Keep watching as it develops.

UPDATE: As if all this electoral craze wasn't exciting enough, I have just received a ballot slip in the post for the student parliament elections at the J. W. von Goethe University here in Frankfurt this month. Parties running include the usual lot (CDU, SPD) and an outfit calling itself the Giraffes. No idea what they're about. But the real disappointment was the lack of a familiar name (and face) on the candidates list. Sadly Dean Robson declined to run.

ANOTHER UPDATE: According to Monday's Frankfurter Rundschau we could be seeing two possible coalitions: a right-leaning one between the CDU and the FDP, and another left-wing one between the SPD, the Greens and Die Linke. The latter option would be a real kick in the teeth for the ruling CDU.

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The re-poll of last term’s overturned Union election will go ahead in 2^nd week of this term, as the Appellate Board publishes its final report, upholding Krishna Omkar’s conviction and disqualification in full.

Omkar was found guilty of electoral malpractice under the Union’s complex Rule 33. The malpractice centred around the holding of a ‘slate party’ the night before last term’s Union elections, at which Omkar and a number of past and current Union figures were present, as well as Cal Flyn, Editor of the Oxford Student.

The tribunal was brought by Charlotte Fischer, another presidential candidate, who lost to Krishna by a large majority. The tribunal criticised Omkar for what they perceived as a “disturbing arrogance” towards the Union’s rules. He was also criticised for ‘intimidating’ Ms Flyn, whose testimony received significant prominence in the tribunal’s report.

Omkar appealed the decision, which disqualified him from the election and the subsequent re-poll. In a lengthy written submission to the Appellate Board, he attacked “factual inaccuracies”, “material omissions”, and reliance on “hearsay”. The tribunal board also relied on a “balanced of probabilities” for finding the verdict, rather than the “beyond all reasonable doubt” burden required by the Union rules, he argued.

However, the Appellate Board found no reason to uphold any of Omkar’s allegations of failings in the tribunal process. The Board also considered Omkar’s claim that the sentence was disproportionate. On the disqualification, the Board ruled that once guilt was found, disqualification was not a power but “a duty” of the tribunal panel.

The Appellate Board finally considered issues of eligibility to run in the re-poll. There have been ongoing suggestions that Charlotte Fischer may be the only person eligible, due to the criteria laid down by the original ruling.

The original tribunal panel were questioned over their decision to order a re-poll, as the Appellate Board viewed it as “unusual that the Original Tribunal had not simply ordered the election of the original complainant.”

They accepted the tribunal panel’s defence that their decision had been made on principle, “for the good of the Society”, and that they had not explicitly examined who would be eligible.

During the appeal proceedings, Omkar's representative protested that allowing Fischer to assume the presidency uncontested would amount to a "coronation".

As the Union Returning Officer refuses to examine eligibility of potential candidates until nominations are received, it is still unknown whether Charlotte Fischer is the only eligible candidate.

The report does suggest some differences of opinion over Omkar’s punishment, but the Appellate Board’s jurisdiction only allows it to consider the rationality of the sentencing, so found no grounds to overturn the original ruling.

In the report’s closing remarks, the Board says it was “particularly saddened to note the increasing appearance of professional advocates,” regardless of whether they were or were not acting in a pro bono capacity.

At the original tribunal hearing, Charlotte Fischer was represented by a professional lawyer, whereas Krishna Omkar was represented by a post-graduate ex-Union Returning Officer. However, at the appeal Omkar was represented by a professional lawyer, whereas Fischer represented herself.

The Board cited a statement in the Union rules that notes they exist to ensure “members do not gain advantage by virtue of being richer than other candidates,” and advised restricting or banning the use of professional advocates.

With the appeal process completed, the re-poll will be held Friday of 2^nd week, with nominations opening Friday of 0^th week.

Vibrant and varied, Joan Eardley is well worth seeing for the artist’s influence on Scottish painting and for the expressive nature of her work, before it closes on January 13thIt is ironic that one of the most famous Scottish painters of the twentieth century was an Englishwoman.  Born in Sussex to a Scottish mother, Joan Eardley studied at Glasgow School of Art, and later made Scotland her home, coming to depict an essential sense of place, whether through the apple cheeked weans of Glasgow’s slums or the tempestuous coastline of the North East. The spacious and airy galleries of the Royal Scottish Academy building provide an excellent setting for the first major show of Eardley’s work in twenty years, and the largest to date, allowing each piece to command the full attention it deserves.The chronological organization of the show gives a clear idea of her influences and the development of her work. Beginning with some of her earliest student paintings, we see the involvement in a sense of place and her interest in the poor and the vulnerable, which carry through her subsequent work. Following this, the show is divided mainly between her iconic paintings of children in the slums of the East End of Glasgow, and landscapes. In the final room, her sources are presented: many sketches; photographs she took of children at play around Glasgow; press clippings and postcards. Panels of information in each room allow you to trace the specific elements influencing the development of her work.By far the strongest part of the show is the later landscape paintings. At times semi-abstract and influenced by the American abstract expressionists and European tashisme, they have a wonderfully vital quality. One room shows seascapes painted near the village of Catterline, whose surrounding area proved a treasure trove of landscapes for Eardley. These are responses both to the natural environment and to paint – expressing the qualities of both.  They contrast the weight, texture and density of the oil paint to catch the ever-changing quality of the North Sea: the stillness after storms, and the breakers on the shore. The landscapes painted around Catterline show a similar energy, capturing the colour and tactile character of the Scottish landscape through the seasons, from the minute variations of dry fields during winter to the brightness of autumn sunsets. Embedded in many paintings are the stems, grasses and flowers of the landscape, blending into their painted counterparts and adding to the rich texture of the works, foreshadowing her use of collage in her last paintings.In recording the effects of the changing seasons on the landscape, she depicted the same scene again and again. In such repetition, the progression of her style is most apparent. For example, from a seminal trip to London in 1957, the influence of Kandinsky’s early abstraction can be seen in the development of her own semi-abstract style.  This influence is particularly evident in comparing “Drying Salmon Nets” of 1955 and the later, more abstract “Salmon Net Posts”, 1962,In 1963, Eardley’s career was tragically cut short at the age of forty-two by her death from cancer. The final works provide a tantalising glimpse of the way in which her style might have developed. Combining the children that we see in her Glasgow paintings with the abstract expressionist and collaging influences of her landscapes at Catterline, these last paintings are far looser.  We are left to wonder whether her style would have later drifted into full abstraction (in her words to a friend ‘getting rid of the children altogether’) or developed in other unforeseen ways. by Hannah Dingwall

Assassinated Pakistan ex-Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto’s son Bilawal has been appointed chairman of the Pakistan People’s Party (PPP) along with his father, Asif Ali Zardari.

Bilawal, 19, is a first year undergraduate at Christ Church, Oxford, studying history. It is believed that due to his age and inexperience, he will take a figurehead role while he finishes his studies.

His father Asif Ali Zardari will likely take immediate control of the party until Bilawal is ready to take over.

“My mother always said democracy is the best revenge," Bilawal told journalists.

Bilawal is the latest in a political dynasty that has been marked with bloodshed. His mother was assassinated on Thursday; Grandfather Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, founder of the PPP, was executed in 1979 after a military coup; and his uncles both died under unexplained circumstances.

The PPP has come out strongly in favour of contesting the planned January elections, and has appealed to former Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif to reconsider his threat to boycott them.

It is believed Bilawal will play a key role in campaigning, the party hoping that the succession of another Bhutto will rally supporters. He will then return to Oxford to continue studying.