Thursday, May 15, 2025
Blog Page 1909

It’s the students what won it

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In the past week there have been many articles printed in the mainstream press which attempt to discredit the movement against Higher Education cuts and increased tuition fees. This weekend saw The Mail on Sunday’s latest session of protester-bashing with a piece slating the ‘hypocrisy’ of the demonstrating middle classes, which, quite predictably, took Oxford students as its main targets. Aside from the numerous falsities and misquotations, the questionable techniques used to gain information, and the weakness of the conclusion, which showed little more than that some protesters went to good state schools, the argument itself – that people whose families would be able to afford the proposed tuition fees are nothing but hypocrites if they fight against them – is deeply flawed. With this mind, it is simply wrong to suggest, as do The Mail and others, that protesters who campaign against something which will not directly affect them cannot have any worthy reason to demonstrate; protesting in solidarity with less privileged students, or on the basis of principle is not an option – according to them.

The tabloids seem unaware of the irony at work when they criticise the Millbank activists as hypocrites. In all the excitement of the recent manhunts for those who broke the windows of Tory HQ, the real hypocrites and criminals seem to have escaped unscathed. Could anyone stand as a better example of self-contradiction than Nick Clegg? Perhaps only fellow Oxonian, David Cameron, can match his level of duplicity. In his extreme reaction to the events at Millbank, (a reaction disproportionate to the breaking of a few windows), Cameron seems to have conveniently forgotten not only his own Bullingdon club days of smashing and trashing, but also the fact that the proposed cuts are a violent and destructive act against an entire nation. His vehement defence of the innocent, fragile panes of glass at Millbank only highlights, in contrast, his neglect of millions of the country’s poorest and most vulnerable who will be massively hit by the cuts; he wants activists to face “the full force of the law” for glass damage but takes no responsibility for the lives he is about to destroy. Why is the media not holding the real guilty parties to account?

The Daily Mail’s attack on middle class campaigners follows an early media attempt to characterize those involved in the direct action at Millbank as ‘professional agitators’ and ‘rent-a-mob lefties’, always up for a round of random vandalism and thuggery. Photographs of random protesters (often seemingly under the age of eighteen) were printed in a wave of name and shame style articles designed to instill fear in protesters and incite the public to turn against what they called the tiny independent group of extremists. But last week’s direct action was not conducted by a ‘small extremist faction’, as is shown by one of the best photos of the demonstration, taken from the roof of Millbank. Pictured are crowds of thousands below in the courtyard, and the caption underneath reads, ‘The tiny rogue minority. Can you spot it?’ Similarly, there has been media outrage that the protest was “hijacked by a load of anarchists – not even students!” as if the terms ‘anarchist’ and ‘student’ are somehow mutually exclusive. There is no evidence at all that the activists at Millbank were not students anyway, and going by sight only (unless students have developed some common physical feature by which they can all be identified) it is highly misleading to suggest that it was possible to know this.

And it is precisely this point, that we are not one small identifiable group of people that makes our movement strong, and really threatens the Government. Far from being detrimental to the cause, the fact that school, sixth-form, and university students, teachers, lecturers, tutors, unionists and workers from all professions marched together, in unity, is not only an incredible sight in times of apparent political apathy, but is also absolutely essential if cuts are to be successfully resisted. Historically, solidarity has, like civil disobedience been extremely powerful in winning campaigns against the state. At this very moment for example, the campaign against regressive changes to pension laws in France, are massively strengthened by the active support of thousands of lycéens.

It is convenient for both the media and the Government to characterize the direct action of the 10th November as the work of one confined social or political group, be that the middle classes or the ‘anarchist layabouts’. Conflating the different groups and individuals involved provides them with one clear target, and aims at dismissing the very real threat which the movement poses to the powers attempting to enforce the cuts (the powers that is, with whom Aaron Porter has so keenly attempted to stay in favour in order to secure his own future career). More than four thousand people from all ages, backgrounds, professions and political affiliations have now signed the statement in solidarity with those arrested at Millbank. Unfortunately for the coalition Government and the mass media, we have diversity, solidarity and unity; this is only just the beginning of great resistance to come.


OxfordEducation Campaign has called on Oxford students and lecturers to participate in the national day of walk-outs against the cuts, assembling at the Carfax Tower next Wednesday 24th November, at 12 noon.

F**king the government with a small g

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Michael Crick is not what I expected. As a journalist who moves through Parliament Street like a shikari through the Kashmiri cloud-forest, and as the only man ever to have been both President of the Oxford Union and Editor of Cherwell, I had imagined Michael Crick to be the hackiest hack in Britain. Avuncular. Utterly at ease. Perhaps ever so slightly condescending.

The man in front of me is none of these things. He orders himself a slim-line tonic, citing two large glasses of wine at lunch earlier. It’s November 10, but he’s not wearing a poppy. Instead, an enormous and immaculate Ralph Lauren scarf – more of a stole, really – splashes scarlet over his chest. Little things matter in Crick’s world.

We make small talk about the student protests a mile away in Westminster. Crick mentions he went down to London for just this kind of demonstration in 1976; I ask if he would be out there now if he were 21 again. He dodges the question, a little awkwardly.

Well then, I continue, are the late 70s coming back? Rising unemployment, crashing cuts, simmering race issues, polarised politics – is Britain about to become an interesting country again? “I doubt it,” says Crick confidently. “Maybe a bit. But I don’t think you will see the level of unrest on anything like the scale that you saw in the 60s, 70s and early 80s.

“Although certain uninformed journalists” – I blush – “might say ‘aw, we’re back to the 70s’, these rallies are just token gestures. I don’t think we will return to the unrest that we saw in the 70s. I know you’ve just come from one of these demonstrations, and I’m sorry to disappoint you, but it ain’t gonna be like it was then.”

At this precise point in time just as Crick is speaking – I checked when I saw the news – 200 protesters burst through the police cordon into Millbank Street, heading for the Conservative Party HQ with grim determination. Just saying.

So. I have one of the most influential journalists in the country sitting opposite me, a man with more contacts in his little black book than Arnold Goodman, and more leads in Westminster than the National Grid. What shall we talk about? Journalism, of course.

And, surprisingly, Crick is both deprecating and proud about his profession. Its biggest failing, he begins, is its shallowness. “It’s a very imperfect profession,” he says. “The number of journalists who can read a balance sheet or understand company accounts is few.” Finance, science, Islam: all burning questions of the day that require a specialist knowledge beyond the average journalist’s expertise. So they are not held to account.

Crick is sceptical of the media’s power and reach: “We are one of the checks and balances in a free society. Parliament…the legal profession…the lobby groups – there are various forces at work holding people in power to account. I had an editor on Newsnight years ago who used to come in every morning and say, ‘right, how can we fuck the government today?’ He didn’t mean the then Labour government, he meant the government in the sense of ‘small G’, the people running, er, the world.”

So just how much has Crick buggered up the system? “I don’t know how successful I have been in fucking the government. I mean, I think I’ve probably irritated them, I know I’ve irritated them. There are times when they wish I wasn’t there.” Just in time, he comes over a little bashful. “I’m pretty sure I haven’t, you know, brought about any huge changes in government policy.”

This is partly modesty. Wikipedia tells me that during the elections earlier in 2005 somebody said the five most terrifying words in English were “Michael Crick is in reception.”

One of the most charming things about Michael Crick is his frankness about where he has been right and where he has been wrong. A life-long and ardent Manchester United fan, Crick is more forthcoming about The Betrayal of a Legend, his attack on the club’s spendthrift new management under an arrogant rookie called Alex Ferguson, than he is about his more political works on Jeffrey Archer and militancy in Britain.

“The ultimate judgement that my co-author and I reached was utterly wrong,” he says, “which was that so long as you are obsessed with money then you won’t be successful on the pitch. United then went on to prove me totally wrong. But it was revolutionary in that nobody up until that point had ever applied the normal kind of journalistic scrutiny you would apply to all sorts of other organisations to a sporting institution like that.Lots of modern politics really is sport. And we do cover it increasingly like sport. You know the Match of the Day highlights followed by the panel discussion? Well that’s how we cover politics these days. Since politics became, y’know, non-ideological in the last 20 years, it has really been a contest between the Blues and the Reds.

“The policies pursued by the Blues and the Reds are almost interchangeable- y’know, the Blues pursue one policy on, say, tuition fees” – his eyes sparkle – “and the Yellows decry it. Then they swap jobs and the Blues and the Yellows come into power and adopt that very policy, and then the Reds decry it.

“It is increasingly a sporting contest between two tribes who, like United and City fans, just hate each other. But the significant division between them is nothing like as great as it used to be.” You get the impression Crick would have loved the chariot-racing politics of Imperial Rome. His version of politics is about people, not policies, and, listening to him, you get the feeling that the back-stabbing rabble-rousing puppet-mastering machinations of the Senate never went out of style in the western world.

Meanwhile, the far left has had its teeth pulled out. “Polls suggest that most of the public do feel the time has come to cut public expenditure,” says Crick, “and I don’t think we’re going to see this government’s activities halted by industrial unrest. As for poor students and demonstrators, why should anybody take any notice of them?”
He giggles. 30 Millbank St burns. But in the long run, it looks like Crick will be right. Politics ultimately comes down to a group of men and women sitting around a table and compromising furiously. The hoodie-wearing placard-wielding student in me hates him for it, but Crick understands the nature of power better than any other man I have ever met.

5 Minute Tute: Benjamin Britten

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Who was Benjamin Britten?

Britten was the leading British composer writing in the middle of the twentieth century, one of the few British artists who established and maintained an international reputation as a serious composer from early in his career. His attitudes were rooted in the left-wing intellectualism of the 1930s. His strong pacifism shaped his artistry: outsiders or those who suffer from misguided exercise of power are consistently alluded to in his music. British composers often display a fine understanding of vernacular texts; Britten’s friendship with the poet W.H. Auden in his twenties helped intensify his sensitivity to literary works and his music frequently engages with these on a sophisticated level.

What was his contribution to music?

He had a huge impact on the musical and cultural wellbeing of Britain. He established the English Opera Group, which toured the country to introduce operas, including his own chamber operas, to audiences nationally. He believed passionately in creating and performing music of the highest standard, yet he also knew that amateur musicians were to be encouraged and he wrote much music both for them and for children. His Young Person’s Guide to the Orchestra was the piece of music (alongside Prokofiev’s Peter and the Wolf) that introduced schoolchildren to the world of classical music in the second half of the last century.

What made him such a great musician?

Britten’s composing output was consistently sustained by– at times impinged upon by– his activities as a practical musician. Alongside his composing he was hugely active as a conductor and pianist and a remarkable archive of recordings of this is available for study and enjoyment. With his partner, the tenor Peter Pears, Britten performed countless recitals at home and abroad, introducing his own work alongside the songs of Dowland and Purcell as well as the finest Lieder composers of the Western canon, Schubert, Schumann, Brahms, Wolf. He collaborated also with many other leading musicians of the day, including the composer, Shostakovich, and cellist Mstislav Rostropovich.

What is his legacy?

Immediately after his death in 1976 Britten went briefly out of fashion: composers often do. But in the years since, various works are consistently performed in mainstream repertory. The two most frequently heard are his 1945 operatic masterpiece Peter Grimes and his most ardent pacifist statement, War Requiem of 1962. Britten also had a keen business sense and he established a music festival in his home town of Aldeburgh that remains one of the most impressive artistic events of the summer, happily avoiding a clash with the Proms. The educational work achieved at Aldeburgh is testimony to an incredibly rich and busy life of music making. Moreover, he showed British musicians that it was possible to be a significant professional composer; and the huge number of young composers writing in Britain today suggests how well he established this.

The Rudi awakening of dubstep

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The rise of the producer over the last two decades has complicated our notion of what it means to be a pop artist. We used to venerate the swaggering, champagne-guzzling superstar; now we equally celebrate the bedroom-bound, coffee-drinking technophile. Rudi Zygadlo seems to want to have it both ways. Each track on his debut album Great Western Laymen is structured around the idea of music as process and tireless attention to sonic play – both characteristics of electronic music – but also demonstrates a marked pop sensibility. Strictly speaking, the album’s thirteen tracks are best defined as dubstep; but superimposed onto the slow, stamping drums and quivering basslines of the genre is a vivid mosaic of stuttering synths, hammy guitar solos, and – most strikingly – extensive passages of Zygadlo’s own voice.

Take ‘Resealable Friendship’, the album’s lead single. One might imagine the debut single of an emerging dubstep artist to be characterized by the hiss of white noise, or a dark, angular synth melody. ‘Resealable Friendship’ instead gives us Zygadlo’s voice, multitracked in four-part harmony and sounding like a ketamine-addled barbershop quartet. The beginning of the song proper unveils a highly complex sonic landscape of interweaving synth lines, over which our narcotic chorus sings a strange, fragmented hymn. On a conventional dubstep compilation, the track would stick out like a sore thumb. On Great Western Laymen, it sits comfortably between its neighbouring tracks: an extensive jazz piano solo, and an exercise in soprano saxophone and gong.

As I head to The Cellar to meet the artist before his show, I expect to be greeted by someone hyperactive, flamboyant, and slightly mad – I envision an uneasy mixture between Syd Barrett and Peter Shaffer’s Mozart. I instead meet a Zygaldo who is reserved, thoughtful, and very down to earth. He takes time to consider my questions, and as he answers his words come out slowly and steadily in groups of two or three, as if he is blowing smoke rings.

Zygaldo’s influences range from 80s synth-pop to the nineteenth-century string quartet, but he is at great pains to set himself apart from the current British electronica scene. ‘I’m listening to less and less electronic music’, he tells me. ‘I don’t want to be influenced by a lot of stuff so I try not to listen to it too much’. Yet although he’s wary of being pigeonholed as a dubstep artist, his music remains more faithful to the dubstep blueprint than that of, say, James Blake. Most of the tracks on Great Western Laymen are carried by the familiar 140bpm tempo and wobbly bass, and whereas some producers are currently experimenting with new kick and snare sounds, Rudi’s drums are archetypal – dated, even. As I propose this, Zygaldo shifts uncomfortably in his seat: ‘I saw the first album as a kind of study… I mean, I’m still finding a sound for myself. The beat gives me grounding’.

Indeed, Great Western Laymen was originally envisioned as a setting of the Latin Mass. ‘When I’m writing, I need some kind of narrative, a project to use as a template’, he explains. This anecdote is typical of Zygaldo’s subversive approach to dubstep: he is keen not only to experiment with generic conventions, but also to expand the range of ways in which the music is disseminated. Yet, refreshingly, Zygaldo does not appear to be driven by a self-conscious desire to stand out as an innovator, nor by disdain for the contemporary landscape of electronic music. Rather, his innovations are simply part of an exploration of his own artistic creativity.

In four hours’ time, in order to please a crowd largely unaware of his music, Zygaldo will play a set of House anthems by other artists. He will discretely include just one of his own pieces: ‘Filthy Logic’. For the hour-long duration of his set, Zygaldo’s own artistic voice will be kept at bay, and his preoccupation will be to fill the dancefloor. But as our interview comes to an end, Zygaldo is still wrapped up in his own musical impulse: ‘I mean, there aren’t many dubstep albums out there’, he muses. ‘I’m thinking my next one should be an operetta’.

Homage to Catatonia

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In the name of the future of Higher Education, I am carrying a 15-foot carrot made of papier maché. Actually, that’s not strictly accurate. I’m only holding up the middle section of this monstrous vegetable, between a hairy French art student called Nicholas and a short girl who keeps telling us we walk too fast. I feel like Joseph of Arimathea. Or possibly just like the biggest idiot in the rich and chequered history of idiocy.

In between fits of asthma, Nicholas explains the situation. The Artists’ Collective of Goldsmiths has chosen the carrot as a symbol of the tantalising future held out to entice students into further education. Like donkeys, he tells me, we trot off after the carrot only to feel the stick of higher education cuts come swingeing down on our hindquarters. This would account for the religious procession of arts students around me carrying carrots and wearing donkey masks, and looking like the cast of a low-budget production of Equus.
Silly. But what could possibly be sillier than a bunch of 350-odd middle class students out on a free day trip to the NUS demonstration? Skiving off lectures and protesting against the cuts – what larks! So here we all are, in our college hoodies and our college scarves, sporting home-made placards with slogans like ‘Political Moderate But Pissed Off’, or, my personal favourite, ‘THIS JUST ISN’T BRITISH – STOP BEING SO SILLY.’ I catch a very serious-looking man from the OUSU contingent munching a hummus and grated carrot granary sandwich from Taylors Deli. Somehow, Nicholas and his 15-foot carrot seem comparatively sane.

Meanwhile, at the other end of the protest, a phalanx of students with black hoodies and black scarves peels off from the march. Moving with noisy purpose, they approach the police cordon blocking Millbank Street. The police hold their line, but deep down they’re frightened by the determination in these protesters’ eyes. They can see the fires dancing under those black hoods. A punch. Somebody goes down – policeman or anarchist, you can’t tell who. A wave. It breaks. A second wave. It passes over the bright yellow jackets, and now the sea of black is surging towards the central office of the Conservative Party. Somebody’s set fire to a banner. Fire everywhere. The sound of plate glass shattering. The sound of revolt.

Of course, everybody who is anybody rushed to condemn the violence on Millbank St. Cue NUS President Aaron Porter: ‘this despicable violence was not part of our plan. This action was by others who have come out and used this opportunity to hijack a peaceful protest.’
But as a culture writer, let me share a confession with you. A big part of me admires what the black hoodies did. A bigger part of me feels that we Oxford students missed the point as much as they did. They made the front pages. We had a grand day out.

The problem Oxford student protesters face is not so much a matter of politics as a cultural issue. Every person on that 25,000-strong march (there is no way there were 50,000 there as the NUS claimed) objected to the same politics. But there is a substantial difference between holding up a placard that says, ‘Students of Jesus College Oxford OPPOSE many of the proposals of the BROWNE Review. We believe that 40% H.E. CUTS will have a negative impact ON TEACHING and increased tuition fees risk DENYING future students a secure and AFFORDABLE education’ and a sign that says ‘TORY FUCKING SCUM.’ It is the difference between the rational and the irrational.

As an intellectual, you want to take a reasoned, nuanced, and non-violent stance against the cuts. You want to maintain your basic dignity and fairness while making your opinions known to the world. But that’s not what protest culture is about. Protest is about stirring up savage emotions of solidarity and hatred, about holding your ground and refusing to back down. Sod ‘no ifs, no buts, no education cuts’ – protest culture comes down to the oldest battlecry in urban history: ‘Whose streets? Our streets!’

Listen to the music of protest. ‘I’m gonna give you a dose / but it can never come close / to the rage built up inside of me / fist in the air in the land of hypocrisy.’ Or, ‘This anger is focused so you’d better listen up / when there’s a scarf over my face and my hoodie’s up / I’m out to build the world with a brick in my hand / I’m just a little man but this is where I take my stand.’ How long? Not long. ‘Cos what you reap is what you sow.

Protest culture is unreasonable by nature. What did the NUS publicity ahead of the march say? ‘DEMO-LITION. We will march.’ Why were they so surprised when actual demolition broke out? And who is going to care that six St Anne’s students – six students from a supposedly left-wing college of more than 400! – took a stroll from Birkbeck to Westminster?

This is why we’re so bad at protest. Not because we don’t break windows, but because we could never break windows. We just don’t care enough. We’re catatonic. Four days before the NUS demo, I walked exactly the same route with the Unite Against Fascism/Love Music Hate Racism march. No fires were lit. No police officers were attacked. No windows were smashed. But the kind of commitment and solidarity that break walls and windowpanes coursed through the 5,000 protesters like music. They meant what they said. And they mean it every time they march. And they will keep on marching.

I don’t want to scorn the Oxford students whose commitment to protesting against the higher education cuts will extend beyond last Wednesday. For all I know, some of them were up on the roof at 30 Millbank St. But most of the 350 happy Oxonians bopping in the crowd on November 10 – including me – were tourists. And, as you all know, everybody hates a tourist – especially one who think it’s always such a laugh…

The Tables have turned

The tension was building, emotions were running high: it had to be the Catz JCR minutes before Thursday’s table football crunch match against Teddy Hall Seconds. It all began with some cunning stunts: three Catz sirens were dispatched to the Lodge to pick up the opposition, thus ensuring lack of blood flow to their heads at kick-off. The house band was instructed to sound a drum roll. Teddy Hall could feel their coming execution in their bones.

First up the Catz General Secretary and Treasurer took to the floor, focusing sharply against the din of the raucous home crowd and the obligatory vodka shots. Eyes narrowed and heart rates quickened as up stepped the Goliaths of Teddy Hall, but these were men with a lot of wrist action in the last few days: ten minutes later the battle was over. First blood to Catz. Courtney Yusuf was a constant verbal menace whilst Grace Smith used her knowledge of the rules to outlawyer them.

After a few boring games it all built up to the ecstatic climax, the final match on which it all rested: Treasurer Sam Briggs vs. The Ginger Bloke From Teddy Hall. A rapid pass from defence to attack, Briggs bursting into the box like it was a Hassan’s takeaway. .. and BAM!! It’s all over! Catz are on top of the world! Teddy Hall are crying like girls! Why did we care about table football? Why were we dressed in full football kit? How did they develop real football from its original status as a table based game? All these questions seemed irrelevant against the backdrop of our delirium.

Stash: All the gear and no idea

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Once upon a time, playing against somebody wearing some sort of official stash indicated that the average player – by which I mean myself – was up for the same level as embarrassment as a year eight boy in a swimming lesson when one his class-mates has a beard. These days, things are less certain. The reason: everyone is wearing it. I even saw a dark blue modern pentathlon training top this morning, although how useful a stash top is in a discipline that involves horse riding and swimming is debatable.

My housemate plays rugby league (or RUGBEH LEEG as it should properly be called), and yesterday came down to breakfast in stash trackies, vest and hoody. Presumably if you cut him in half the letters OURLFC would also be written through him like a stick of rock. I can hardly claim to be blameless in this. Somewhere at home lies – unworn, I hasten to add – a purchase of such stash-hungry, narcissistic proportions it makes an ‘Oxford University’ hoody look like the kind of thing you could wear to a rough local on a Friday night: a bright red, New College Rugby wife beater, complete with name and number. The shame.

So why the kit obsession? When the England rugby team stepped out to national puzzlement in their new anthracite – or grey as it used to be called – kit, clearly they were thinking more about Christmas shirt sales than any desire to pander to a presumably non-existent audience watching in black and white. In the end, it all boils down to money. When they were taking a break from building Stonehenge – which I’m guessing was often, those stones are bloody massive – those prehistoric builders would have had to settle for shirts and skins whilst they kicked around a sheep’s skull or whatever they did back then. But they were cavemen, and didn’t have any money or printing or anything. Now we have money we may as well progress a level and wear that monogrammed beanie hat, even if it is summer. I mean what’s the point in slogging down to Iffley three times a week if you can’t command natural respect for your sporting prowess when buying your weekly supply of crew-date wine in Tescos (3 for £10, freshers – nothing gets girls more interested than a man who likes to splash out on them), frankly, what would be the point? It’s not like your average footballer wants to spend his whole life doing keepy-uppies in the fruit and veg aisle. No, that would be ridiculous. Stash is effortless. Not only does it have an elasticated waistband, it nonchalantly says yes, I’m better than you, and if you touch that last bottle of Merlot I’m going to cut you, or at least black board your name at Vinnie’s forever.

Join the debate: Humanities cuts

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An inquiry into how Government budget cuts will change the way humanities are funded at Oxford.

The Battle for the Family

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YouGov did some interesting polling work over the summer, asking voters whether they thought the main* political parties were close or not close to various groups in society. Most of the results are predictable, but there were two which caught my eye – both of which could spell trouble for the Tories.

 

These two groups were “People with families” and “Older people”. For Labour, 54% and 44% of voters respectively thought the Party was close to families and the elderly. The Tories could only muster 42% and 33%.

 

This is to Labour’s credit – they used their time in power to build an effective image as defenders of the family, introducing an array of financial tools (see Child Trust Funds, Child Tax Credits, Working Families Tax Credits, etc) to reward and keep close to the families of Britain. The closeness to the elderly is a little more difficult to decipher – services for the elderly didn’t have any major headline revamps under Labour – it seems more to be a well-crafted image.

 

This is ground Cameron wants back, and will probably need if he is to take a majority in 2015. The scribbly tree and video diaries from the family kitchen were all ploys to grow closer to the family, but they don’t appear to have worked too well.

 

The Conservatives’ problem has been confusing family values with families. Any poll would undoubtedly show them as closer to family values, but when it comes to practical support of the family the Tories have fallen behind – and this poll was taken before Child Benefit got chopped.

 

So how does a government busy cutting its budget boost support for the family? Clearly they can’t extend more financial benefits – even Cameron’s token marriage bonus got scrapped – and the conveniently named credits of Brown’s Chancellorship are likely to fall into the far less cuddly Universal Credit.

 

What they can do is far more organic, perhaps far more real: they can return power to the kitchen table. Increasing school choice, through free schools or vouchers, gives families more influence over their children’s education, just as jumping on Labour’s market-like healthcare reform bandwagon lets the family feel more in control of its treatment.

 

Frank Fields’ report on child poverty has already recommended more family friendly school holidays as well as parenting taught (sensibly) in schools, and is likely to include further recommendations on bringing parents into schools to involve them in their children’s education. These ideas should be followed.

 

The Tories don’t have the money to make new headline benefits, and to do so would be a mistake even if they could. Instead they need to find a way to bring family into the heart of policy, else they might feel that next general election slipping away.

 

* Well they didn’t bother asking about the Lib Dems…

Anything with a pulse

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Avid readers of this blog (I realise this is probably just my dad and my housemate who is still basking in the glory of having rhymed dozen with oven and come up with its name) might have noticed that I’m a big fan of pulses. Chick peas especially, but honestly when it comes to student cooking my philosophy is much the same as the guy who just downed 7 VKs at Park End – I really would do anything with a pulse.

Lentils have a bad reputation. They’re two main associations seem to be wearing hemp and farting, and let’s face it that is no way to go far in life. But if you have a couple of quid and you’re really bloody hungry they are such a great solution. So are split peas, chick peas, cannellini beans… They are so cheap, and so flexible. They absorb spices and they taste better the next day. Some come in a bag, some come in a can, but whatever the packaging they usually cost about 45p. I don’t really know how else to convince you, so I guess I’ll let the recipes do the talking. Enjoy!

Coconut Daal

Serves 4

The only real effort here is chopping the chillies – if they’re at all spicy it means you can’t change your contact lenses for days and everyone has heard that story about the guy who went to the loo and… well, there’s a solution! Buy pre-chopped chillies in a jar (usually preserved in vinegar or similar) and use them. They’re really similar tasting in the end and more cost-effective.

500g yellow split peas

2 tbsp olive oil

1 onion, halved and sliced thinly

3 cloves of garlic, finely chopped or crushed

1 thumb-sized lump of ginger, finely chopped or grated

2 chillies, or 1 ½ tsp of chopped chillies

2 tsp garam masala

1 can plum tomatoes

1 can coconut milk

some fresh coriander, if you’re feeling flash

Boil the split peas for about 30 mins in water (don’t add salt at this stage). While they’re boiling, put some oil in the pan (or butter tastes amazing, but not if you’re watching the waist line) and add the onions. Cook this very low for about 10-15 mins so they onions are soft.

Turn up the heat a little and add garlic, ginger and the chopped chillies and cook for 2-3 mins. Add 2 tsp garam masala and half the can of plum tomatoes (adding 1sp of sugar at this stage will get rid of any acidity). Simmer for a further five mins.

Once they’re cooked (soft but not mushy) drain the split peas and add them to the mixture and then add the coconut milk. Try it at this stage, and add salt (quite a lot) and pepper according to taste before simmering for 10 mins. This will allow all the flavours to mingle and also soften the split peas a bit more. Serve with brown rice, white rice or rotis and a little coriander if you have it.

Lentil shepherds pie

Serves 4

This sounds so dull. The kind of thing you’d see on a menu in a vegetarian restaurant and rue the day Linda McCartney was ever born. But it’s actually bloody delicious… and there’s a meaty recipe below if you preferred John anyway.

100g brown lentils


1kg potatoes

A knob of butter (how does that still make me laugh?) and some milk

2 tbsp olive oil


1 onion, finely chopped

2 cloves of garlic, thinly sliced

2 carrots, finely chopped


200g(ish) mushrooms

400g tin tomatoes


1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce

1tsp (each) dried oregano, thyme and rosemary


some cheese

Put the oven on at about 200 degrees C (Gas 6, but don’t know F so google it). Boil the lentils until tender (it’s easiest to follow packet instructions if there are any, but it usually takes about half an hour). At the same time, peel and put on the potatoes (which will take a similar time to cook if chopped into small-ish chunks).

While those two are boiling, heat some oil in a pan and add the onion, garlic and carrots. Cook them until they are starting to soften and then add the mushrooms and cook for a further five minutes.

Once the lentils are cooked, add them to this mixture with the tomatoes, herbs, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper and cook for about 5 minutes. While that’s cooking drain the (hopefully now cooked) potatoes and mash with some butter and milk. Then add the lentil mix to a dish (making sure it’s ovenproof) and cover with the potato and then some cheese. Cook for half an hour. Dreams.

Cheap cassoulet

Serves 2

1 large chorizo cooking sausage (250g ish) or 3 spicy or merguez sausages

1 large onion

3 cloves of garlic

2 carrots

1 tsp dried oregano

1 tsp chili flakes / crushed chilies

1 glass white wine (or 1 tbsp white wine vinegar)

1 can plum tomatoes

1 can cannellini beans, drained

salt and pepper

Put the olive oil in a pan and start to warm. Add onions and start to soften. Then add chorizo / spicy or merguez sausages and cook until the oil starts to ooze out. Add garlic and carrots into the pan and allow to cook until the onions are totally soft and the carrots are starting to soften (don’t allow the garlic – or sausage – to burn).

Then add oregano and chili flakes and either a glass of white wine or 1 tbsp of white wine vinegar and a small wine glass of water – allow to boil for 30 seconds. Add the can of chopped tomatoes, the can of cannellini beans and another glass of water and then allow to simmer (low boil) for 20-30 mins.