Wednesday 6th May 2026
Blog Page 1718

OUP hit out at photocopiers

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OUP has sparked controversy by joining Cambridge University Press and Taylor & Francis in a lawsuit against the Rameshwari Photocopy Service at Delhi University regarding copyright infringement.
The lawsuit comes as a result of claims that the photocopying service has been duplicating and distributing OUP texts to students at a significantly lower price in an unauthorised and illegal manner.
The shop, and others like it on the North Campus, have since ceased from distributing materials following a notice from the Delhi High Court and pressure from the university. 
Although the case is directed specifically against the Rameshwari Photocopy Service, there are a number of similar establishments on campus which sell photocopies of books and book extracts at prices which students of the university can afford.
The Oxford Indian Society argues that this is the only way that some students are able to purchase materials which are essential for their courses and has urged its members to sign a petition to encourage OUP to withdraw the lawsuit to “express solidarity”.
Leading academics have also expressed concern over the issue, with Nobel Prize winner Amartya Sen among those opposed to the move.
Those whose works have been photocopied and distributed have also indicated that they are against the proposed legal action. OUP author and director of the Centre for Policy Research, a New Delhi based think tank, Dr Pratap Bhanu Mehta, called the move “self-defeating”, telling Cherwell, “Most of the students, particularly in state universities, are not very privileged, and library resources are few and far between. The effect on sales of publishers will be marginal. In fact I think publishers are being penny wise, pound foolish. By allowing access this way, they will create a long term readership for better books.”
He also said that he was unconcerned by his own books being photocopied, saying, “A volume I edited, The Oxford Companion to Politics in India, is one of the hottest items on the “photocopy” market.  And I don’t particularly mind. We are simply urging publishers to not take action against students who photocopy. And the small photocopying shops are also really small, first time migrants trying to do a nice business.”
An OUP India spokesperson stated, “OUP produces a wide range of high quality academic and educational titles and while we strive to disseminate our publishing as widely as possible, this must be carried out within the framework of copyright law.
“This particular issue relates to the  creation of coursepacks. These packs include entire chapters of books from OUP and other publishers and were sold and distributed by a photocopying outlet operating out of the Delhi School of Economics premises without seeking copyright clearance to do so.  This practice is a clear infringement of copyright law.
“Indian Institutions can obtain photocopying licenses through the Indian Reprographic Rights Organisation (IRRO) which has set tariffs for India which are among the lowest in the world. For coursepacks, the rate would be as low as Rs 0.50 (£0.06) per page.
“We would encourage institutions looking to provide coursepacks for their students to work with the IRRO. Doing so will ensure seamless, efficient, and affordable access to our titles for the student community.”

OUP has sparked controversy by joining Cambridge University Press and Taylor & Francis in a lawsuit against the Rameshwari Photocopy Service at Delhi University regarding copyright infringement.

The lawsuit comes as a result of claims that the photocopying service has been duplicating and distributing OUP texts to students at a significantly lower price in an unauthorised and illegal manner.

The shop, and others like it on the North Campus, have since ceased from distributing materials following a notice from the Delhi High Court and pressure from the university. Although the case is directed specifically against the Rameshwari Photocopy Service, there are a number of similar establishments on campus which sell photocopies of books and book extracts at prices which students of the university can afford.

The Oxford Indian Society argues that this is the only way that some students are able to purchase materials which are essential for their courses and has urged its members to sign a petition to encourage OUP to withdraw the lawsuit to “express solidarity”.

Leading academics have also expressed concern over the issue, with Nobel Prize winner Amartya Sen among those opposed to the move. Those whose works have been photocopied and distributed have also indicated that they are against the proposed legal action.

OUP author and director of the Centre for Policy Research, a New Delhi based think tank, Dr Pratap Bhanu Mehta, called the move “self-defeating”, telling Cherwell, “Most of the students, particularly in state universities, are not very privileged, and library resources are few and far between. The effect on sales of publishers will be marginal. In fact I think publishers are being penny wise, pound foolish. By allowing access this way, they will create a long term readership for better books.”

He also said that he was unconcerned by his own books being photocopied, saying, “A volume I edited, The Oxford Companion to Politics in India, is one of the hottest items on the “photocopy” market.  And I don’t particularly mind. We are simply urging publishers to not take action against students who photocopy. And the small photocopying shops are also really small, first time migrants trying to do a nice business.”

An OUP India spokesperson stated, “OUP produces a wide range of high quality academic and educational titles and while we strive to disseminate our publishing as widely as possible, this must be carried out within the framework of copyright law.

“This particular issue relates to the  creation of coursepacks. These packs include entire chapters of books from OUP and other publishers and were sold and distributed by a photocopying outlet operating out of the Delhi School of Economics premises without seeking copyright clearance to do so.  This practice is a clear infringement of copyright law.

“Indian Institutions can obtain photocopying licenses through the Indian Reprographic Rights Organisation (IRRO) which has set tariffs for India which are among the lowest in the world. For coursepacks, the rate would be as low as Rs 0.50 (£0.06) per page.“We would encourage institutions looking to provide coursepacks for their students to work with the IRRO. Doing so will ensure seamless, efficient, and affordable access to our titles for the student community.”

St Catz porter’s inquest reaches verdict

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An inquest held by the Oxfordshire County Coroner last week concluded that the death of David Lord, a night porter at St Catherine’s College, was caused by suicide. His death in May came as a shock to his friends, co-workers, and students, who described him as “a truly great guy who will be greatly missed.”

This paper reported on the unexpected death of the twenty-three year old earlier in the year, but the investigation was yet to be completed so details were unknown. An inquest was concluded on Tuesday 25th September. Testimony from police, friends and emergency service workers was heard, along with the results of the post mortem examination.

The inquest heard that when Mr Lord did not come into work on the 5th of May, the St Catherine’s College called his home. Mr Lord’s housemate, Samuel O’Brien, entered his room and found him sitting at his desk, his head covered by a plastic bag. A suicide note was later found on his computer by paramedics attending the scene.

The post mortem examination found the cause of death to be suffocation. At the inquest it was revealed that Mr Lord had been unable to come to terms with the recent suicide of a close friend several months earlier, and had been taking prescription anti-depressants and tranquillisers.

St Catherine’s College has expressed its sympathies to Mr Lord’s family, and the college flag was flown at half mast as a symbol of mourning until his funeral, at the Master’s request. The Master, Professor Roger Ainsworth, said Lord was “always friendly, helpful and enthusiastic” and that he “will be greatly missed.”

His fellow porters expressed similar sentiments, saying he was “a valued colleague.” The College Bursar, James Bennet, said, “David’s death came as a great shock to us all at St Catherine’s. He was a much loved and well respected colleague and friend to many here. He will be very much missed by us all.”

Students also expressed their grief and shock at his death, with Gareth Morgan, a third year biochemist, describing him as “a very nice guy, very sharp and extremely intelligent” and adding that he was “really selfless.”

OUSU voted least popular student union in the UK

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Oxford’s student union has been ranked joint worst in the country according to a student satisfaction survey published last week.
Results published by the National Student Survey gave the student union (OUSU) a student satisfaction rating of just 39%, placing it joint last with Oxford Brookes. At the other end of scale, the University of Sheffield’s student union had the highest satisfaction rating at 95%.
One second year English student said, “I’ve been here a year and apart from the response to the removal of the HFL (History Faculty Library), I can’t think of one significant thing that they’ve introduced. If OUSU wants support and input from the students they need to make themselves known to the students.”
Basil Vincent, ex-JCR President of Keble College, said, “I think that this survey reflects an unfortunate reality about OUSU. The excellent work it does is often unknown to students, who instead see the institution as a bit irrelevant. I’ve seen first-hand just how crucial OUSU is to maintaining student welfare in Oxford, and so I’m a bit disappointed to see it come last.” 
Unlike in universities such as Sheffield, Oxford does not have a central social hub as part of the student union, as that function is often provided by JCRs.
The view that collegiate systems reduce student satisfaction seems to be backed up by the fact that Cambridge University student union received a similarly low satisfaction rating of only 46%.
Sam Allen, a Maths student from Sheffield University, explained why he believed his student union deserved the rating it received. “The building is smack bang in the middle of the university so it’s a great point to meet. All the staff are really helpful and informative and there’s everything there from club nights, to banking and coffee shops.”
Oxford Brookes Students’ Union faces similar challenges. Adam Frost, a second year student at the university, claimed, “The union definitely has a presence at Brookes; however for my part I have never had to deal with them.” 
He continued, “I feel that there is more that could be done to improve the union. I for one don’t even know whether an SU bar exists at Brookes, or what it is responsible for. It needs to make itself and its services better known to students.”
OUSU’s current President, David Townsend, stated “OUSU has difficulties with student engagement, and the NSS score reflects that. OUSU can’t blame these idiosyncrasies for all of its problems.”
However, he was positive about OUSU’s capacity to address these problems, claiming that the chance to do so was “one of the big reasons why the current year’s sabbatical officers chose to run for office.” He also said that, “Where students have interacted with OUSU and know what it does, the numbers are overwhelmingly positive, so it’s clear that OUSU has to get better at communicating what it does and at supporting students’ departmental representatives, as you would expect of a Student Union at any other university.”
Townsend also suggested that an improved communications strategy and ongoing professionalisation of its operations will lead to an “upward trend” in student satisfaction.
Felix Neate, former Corpus Christi OUSU Officer, disagreed with the survey, commenting, “I don’t think the fact that OUSU is irrelevant to the average Oxford student makes it the worst student union. No one actually wants to hear from them, so the fact that they’re inaudible really works in their favour.”

Oxford’s student union has been ranked joint worst in the country according to a student satisfaction survey published last week.

Results published by the National Student Survey gave the student union (OUSU) a student satisfaction rating of just 39%, placing it joint last with Oxford Brookes. At the other end of scale, the University of Sheffield’s student union had the highest satisfaction rating at 95%.

One second year English student said, “I’ve been here a year and apart from the response to the removal of the HFL (History Faculty Library), I can’t think of one significant thing that they’ve introduced. If OUSU wants support and input from the students they need to make themselves known to the students.”

Basil Vincent, ex-JCR President of Keble College, said, “I think that this survey reflects an unfortunate reality about OUSU. The excellent work it does is often unknown to students, who instead see the institution as a bit irrelevant. I’ve seen first-hand just how crucial OUSU is to maintaining student welfare in Oxford, and so I’m a bit disappointed to see it come last.” 

Unlike in universities such as Sheffield, Oxford does not have a central social hub as part of the student union, as that function is often provided by JCRs.The view that collegiate systems reduce student satisfaction seems to be backed up by the fact that Cambridge University student union received a similarly low satisfaction rating of only 46%.

Sam Allen, a Maths student from Sheffield University, explained why he believed his student union deserved the rating it received. “The building is smack bang in the middle of the university so it’s a great point to meet. All the staff are really helpful and informative and there’s everything there from club nights, to banking and coffee shops.”

Oxford Brookes Students’ Union faces similar challenges. Adam Frost, a second year student at the university, claimed, “The union definitely has a presence at Brookes; however for my part I have never had to deal with them.” 

He continued, “I feel that there is more that could be done to improve the union. I for one don’t even know whether an SU bar exists at Brookes, or what it is responsible for. It needs to make itself and its services better known to students.”

OUSU’s current President, David Townsend, stated “OUSU has difficulties with student engagement, and the NSS score reflects that. OUSU can’t blame these idiosyncrasies for all of its problems.”

However, he was positive about OUSU’s capacity to address these problems, claiming that the chance to do so was “one of the big reasons why the current year’s sabbatical officers chose to run for office.” He also said that, “Where students have interacted with OUSU and know what it does, the numbers are overwhelmingly positive, so it’s clear that OUSU has to get better at communicating what it does and at supporting students’ departmental representatives, as you would expect of a Student Union at any other university.”

Townsend also suggested that an improved communications strategy and ongoing professionalisation of its operations will lead to an “upward trend” in student satisfaction.

Felix Neate, former Corpus Christi OUSU Officer, disagreed with the survey, commenting, “I don’t think the fact that OUSU is irrelevant to the average Oxford student makes it the worst student union. No one actually wants to hear from them, so the fact that they’re inaudible really works in their favour.”

Oxford alumna creates porn website

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Oxford educated businesswoman Cindy Gallop has unveiled MakeLoveNotPorn.tv, a website which aims to challenge the accepted standards of pornography by promoting videos showing sex between real couples. The website runs on user-generated content and makes ‘real-world’ sex shareable online.

The website, which is still “in beta, darling. Invitation only” and has 66,000 people on the waiting list, is a platform for sharing and enjoying erotic videos. The sex in the videos must be contextualised, cliché-free and consensual.

Cindy Gallop, who read English at Somerville, where she had a “whale of a time”, says she wants to “separate the myths of hardcore porn behaviour from the reality of healthy but hot sexual relationships.” She believes that too many people, young men in particular, base their sexual expectations on the hardcore pornography that is widely available on the internet.

The 52 year old advertising executive turned website entrepreneur first introduced the idea at a TED talk in 2009. She claims dating younger men exposed her to the fact that “there is an entire generation growing up that believes that what you see in hardcore pornography is the way that you have sex.”

Gallop believes there is a “complete lack of open, healthy dialogue around porn and sex” in homes, schools and society at large which means “hardcore pornography de facto has become sex education.”

“This message is not anti porn, I’m a fan of hardcore porn” she adds, “but porn tends to present one world view. I want to help bring the creativity, individuality and self- expression back to it. It’s not about performing for the camera, we’re looking for the comical, the messy, the ridiculous. We’re looking for the real.”

However, some Oxford students were less excited by the promise of ‘real-world’ sex. One second-year said, “I don’t know if I can deal with the real thing. Who wants to see a fat Swedish couple having sex on their kitchen floor?

“The fact that MLNP.tv is open to everyone, not just industry professionals, also means that you could come across your friends having sex.”

The website, described by The New York Times as “Youtube for the erotically unabashed,” consists of videos uploaded by members having “#realworld sex.”

Members are charged $5 to post a video, viewers pay $5 to watch and 50% of proceeds go to the contributor.

Each video comes with a back story. MakeLoveNotPorn.tv’s first offering was created by Lily La Beau and Danny Wild, a “real life couple” who work in the pornography business, and the video shows them having sex at home.

La Beau explains in their introductory video, “In porn we are every day asked to do crazy positions and really stupid things which look great on camera but don’t always feel as great as they look. Cindy wanted us to fuck just like we want to fuck.”

Wild, who edited the video, says, “I kept thinking I don’t know how to show real sex. As performers in the porn industry every time you bring out a camera that means it’s not real anymore. But this is not like porn, I hope you like it, you see a lot more of our connection which I think is the point.”

Built on the idea of sharing and enjoying sex, the website pushes the boundaries of social media. For Gallop, “Sex is personality. How we self-identify and self-express sexually is as much a part of us as any other talent, skill or trait we currently publicise on Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram. It is a sign of success for any social media network or platform when your community reaches the stage where they feel comfortable using you to express themselves sexually.”

Gallop sees sex as a social currency like any other. A Facebook timeline will celebrate relationships in all its shapes, like pictures of a kiss, an announcement of a relationship, or wedding photos. “MakeLoveNotPorn.tv enables you to celebrate that one final dimension of human relationships and humanity that no one else will,” says Ms Gallop.

As for making her own video, “anyone building a start up should be using their own platform, but right now it’s so early in our life cycle it would be too distracting for any of the team to be on there. So not for the time being, but further down the line, who knows?”

Gallop worked for British advertising agency, Bartle Bogle Hegarty, and moved to New York in 1998 to open its US office. In 2005 she started her own projects ‘IfWeRanTheWorld’ and now ‘MakeLoveNotPorn’.

Fallen Oxford graduate repatriated

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A soldier who served in the Corps of Royal Engineers and graduated from University College with a first-class degree in Engineering and Computer Science was repatriated to RAF Brize Norton last Thursday following his death at Camp Bastion, Afghanistan, on Friday 21st September.

Captain James Anthony Townley, who died the day before his 30th birthday, was brought back with Sergeant Jonathan Kups, of the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers, who died on the same day. Townley was on his third tour of Afghanistan, which he had volunteered for.

He is reported to have died from gunshot wounds to the head in what appears to have been an ‘individual act’. Investigations into their deaths are still continuing and the MoD has said that neither death is believed to be due to hostile action.

Townley, who rowed for University College during his time at Oxford, was described as “an exceptional officer, a great character and unbelievably clever” by his commanding officer, Lieutenant Colonel Chas Story. He leaves behind his parents, brother and girlfriend.

Lieutenant Colonel Jack Nicholson said, “His tragic loss has stunned the Regiment, and we are all trying to come to terms with this awful event.’

The plane bringing back the two bodies landed at 1.30pm at RAF Brize Norton, where a small chapel service for the family was held. The cortège then travelled through the village of Brize Norton, where a Royal Marines parade took place, on to the Memorial Garden at Carterton where family members paid their respects.

It then made its way to the ‘Final Turn’, the junction of Headley Way and the John Radcliffe hospital, before finishing at the hospital’s special Armed Forces Department of Pathology.

Approximately 145 members of the public and over 45 army veterans and their families were present at the ‘Final Turn’, with many more lining the rest of the route. John Walker, a veteran of the Royal Dragoon Guards told Cherwell, “A large group of servicemen there were thinking of Townley’s connection with Oxford during the ceremony.’

Walker also told Cherwell that the cortège was permitted to drive much slower than normal at the Final Turn in order to allow a young girl related to Sergeant Kups to place roses on it. “It was very, very sad and awful to see,” he said.

He added, “The Final Turn has been happening here for four years now, but not many people seem to be aware of what goes on there.’

Stephanie Jenkins, a local resident, commented, “The hearses seem so unreal. We have become used recently to associating the Union flag with the Olympics and joy, so it is weird seeing it draped over the coffins of young men.”

Oxford’s finest eateries

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Name: Angrid Thai Canteen; Cost: Mains £5-7

Location: Threeways House, Gloucester Green (opposite the Odeon)

Recommended: Pad Thai… duh

Just got back from your Gap Year? Lamenting the end of your personal odyssey of self-discovery? Want to honour the 3-6 months of selfless commitment you spent funding an inefficient charity where few proceeds actually reached– sorry, I mean the 3-6 months you spent volunteering for a truly worthwhile cause?

Look no further. Stroke your new found sense of social superiority over your peers with a hearty meal at the Angrid Thai Canteen. Flatter your ego further by taking along some wide-eyed freshers who you can impress with your flawless Thai accent – the one you picked up at the Full Moon Party when you had that really deep chat with Incredible Person #24e.

With a no frills atmosphere and a basic decor that is nevertheless strangely endearing (think Primark doing furniture… they don’t yet, do they?), this is a perfect place to come to grab a cheap, cheerful, yet authentic meal with your soon-to-be friends (assuming you don’t cock it up of course). The many long tables make it easy for large groups to be easily accommodated, with the additional bonus of it being very easy to position whatshisface at the opposite end to you – you know, the greasy long-haired guy who is always there, and who you felt pressured to invite out of social necessity (and partly out of fear that if you don’t, he’ll do a Columbine on your ass come Mods)).

Name: Gee’s Restaurant & Bar

Cost: Mains £15-20 (Early supper offers 2 courses for £17)

Location: 61 Banbury Road (Just beyond St Anne’s)

Recommended: Roast grouse (How often can you boast that you consumed a whole sentient being in one meal? – O come on, fish obviously don’t count)

Although a visit to Gees is probably going to do your overdraft no favours, its peaceful setting, elegant glass conservatory and candlelit tables help make up for it. Some of you will probably have boyfriends/girlfriends who will want to come to visit from other Unis, and Gees is an ideal place to take them before your inevitable 5th week break-up – so probably best to think of the visit as a last hurrah…

Nurse your qualms about cheating on your partner at the last bop with a cocktail from Gees’ impressive array – guaranteed to quench your thirst (though not your self-consuming guilt), before diving into the frequently-changing and not-too-overwhelming list of seasonal dishes on offer. If you really want to spend the big bucks then go for a starter, but you’ll be more than satisfied with one of the mains, courtesy of a chef out back who actually knows what they’re doing for once.

On the downside, the portions aren’t exactly the kind where you to end up limping home due to stomach cramps, facial muscles twitching, and getting lost in College whilst desperately searching for a toilet so you can ‘unleash hell’. But then again, I doubt the prospect of having to dump your partner in the near future will leave you with much of an appetite. Bon appétit!

Name: The Anchor

Cost: Mains £11-16

Location: 2 Hayfield Road (Just past St. Hugh’s and off the Woodstock road)

Recommended: Steak & Kidney Pudding

I imagine many of you were quite promptly abandoned by your parents earlier this week: left abruptly amidst the rubble of boxes and plastic containers at your feet that house a multitude of very unnecessary personal items (e.g. the mandatory ‘Keep Calm And Carry On’ poster, the most clichéd and overused poster in Modern Britain – and probably in WWI too for that matter) with not so much as a ‘Goodbye’, before watching their happy faces driving away into the sunset, relieved they have the house to themselves to finally try out ‘you know, that’.

Don’t worry, they’ll come back. Probably. And if they do – milk it. More specifically, persuade them that your recent domestic exodus merits a celebratory trip to the Anchor – a perfect-place-to-take-the-parents, ‘upwardly mobile’ kind of pub in North Oxford. This is clearly evident on the Anchor’s webpage, where directions are not only given for people taking a ‘normal’ method of transport. Instructions for clients travelling by canal boat are given a worryingly prominent place. Although this may at first induce extreme caution for the average student, do not fear, you’ll then remember that all parents bum that kind of kooky British heritage shit.

With a friendly and lively atmosphere that will help rekindle memories of the hustle and bustle of life at home, this place is arguably the Mecca of all pubs in Oxford- tailored for parental visits. With seasonal menus and locally sourced ingredients, the Anchor serves a good variety of old-fashioned pub food that is ‘poshed up’ the perfect amount – not so much that you feel you’re cementing the Daily Mail stereotype of Oxford undergraduates feasting solely on grouse, cheese, and similarly sumptuous edibles, but not so little that you’re wondering whether Dominos might have been a better call after all. Oh, and have the Steak and Kidney Pudding, it’s cracking.

New app makes Oxford landmarks disappear

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The latest update to the iOS6 iPhone and iPad operating system is causing confusion in Oxford, after several attractions on the new map application disappeared or changed their location overnight.

The program appears to have made several errors, such as marking the location of the Radcliffe Infirmary, despite the building having been partially demolished since it closed five years ago. The application also mixed up the positions of several Oxford colleges, locating Magdalen College in the River Cherwell.

A spokesperson for Apple acknowledged the limitations of their new map service, stating, “Maps is a cloud-based solution and the more people use it, the better it will get. We appreciate all of the customer feedback and are working hard to make the customer experience even better.”

Some of the errors have already been addressed by Apple, including the omission of the town train station which had been replaced by the Golden Harvest Canton Restaurant.

Tourists have been caught up in the confusion at a time when the city has experienced a downturn in visitor numbers. According to the Oxford Mail, there was a 43 per cent drop in tourist numbers at the Oxford Visitor Information Centre between May and August of this year, compared with 2011.

Susi Golding, director of Visit Oxfordshire, hoped that tourists will get past the confusion by relying less on their phones and choosing more traditional methods of navigation, such as asking staff at Broad Street’s tourist information centre.

In addition to the map application, pedestrians can make use of a new navigating system, Oxford Explore, which is being made available throughout the town centre this October. The program gives directions to various landmarks along more obscure routes, allowing visitors the opportunity to explore more of the city.

Second year historian Henry Baker commented, ‘I think Oxford as a cohesive unit would be much better if it really was the case that Magdalen and its stuck-up students were miraculously drowned in the Cherwell. I would of course save the deer; they never did anything to deserve such an end.’ Second year Maths student Elizabeth Rendle added, ‘I hope the tourists can swim!’

Keep Off The Grass: The New Fresher’s Guide

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Dear Fresher,

You’ve made it!

At least, you’ve made it this far. Forget school, personal statements, and any semblance of routine. Expect drunken debauchery, late night essay crises, and work you actually like to mark the next three years (at least) of your life. If you survive, you’ll graduate with the best friends you’ll ever have, a degree you can be proud of, and memories to last a lifetime.

Oxford, if we do say so ourselves, is an amazing place. In these hallowed halls you can experience everything from the regal elegance of college balls to the somewhat less classy bops. You can opt for inconceivably early outings on the river or just roll out of bed for a lazy afternoon punt. Nowhere else will you face both intense library sessions and the prospect of drinking with tutors in progressively less formal dinners.

Coming up for the first time is a whirlwind of new people and places, with demands from tutors, clubs and societies, and friends thrust upon you all at once. This guide aims to help you wade through the confusion and reveal the real Oxford underneath. We’re anti-establishment and unofficial. We don’t spout OUSU speak or toe the university line. And if you don’t know what OUSU is, we’ve got a dictionary of Oxford terms inside the Guide.

Good luck!

Nupur Takwale, Vicky Lim, Morgan Norris-Grey, Anthony Collins, Lizzie Greene and Iona Richards

Senior editiorial team

 

Check out our preview articles on clubbing and the Union, and take a sneak peek inside with our read online feature.

Were you convinced by Nick Clegg’s apology? Take our survey

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The X-facts

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I’m not sure what it is about me that screams ‘future pop sensation’ (I reckon it’s the hair. Definitely the hair), but when I mentioned that I was going to the X-Factor auditions, the first question out of everybody’s lips was ‘What are you singing?’.

But don’t bother obsessively scouring YouTube and itvplayer for my barnstorming audition; unfortunately for both myself and the very concept of music I was not there to take part, but merely observe. Yes, strictly in the interests of journalism I subjected myself to being treated like lifestock for 3 hours (and as a Welshman, I’m particularly sensitive to this kind of treatment) and braved the overpriced falafel stand of hell. But I’ve sat on my shocking findings long enough; as boot camp kicks off, I bring you my sufficiently spoiler-free list of surprising X-Facts.

1. The TV show is round 3

The contestants you see on TV have already been through a couple of rounds of auditions; sending in videos and singing for the producers. So while the judges are seeing them for the first time, there has been a great effort to weed out the merely average, leaving only the future stars and the deluded. Which leads to another interesting fact…

2. The screaming queues aren’t contestants

Nope, they’re us. Well, audience members.  Technically, there’s no lying involved in this; those shots are implied to be the hordes of auditionees, but are never explicitly stated to be so. Those shots of the contestants in the queue that usually feature in the show? Well, basically what happens is that the singers in question are inserted amongst us plebs in the queue and then ‘picked up’ by the cameramen. Smoke and cameras. There were only about 20 or so acts for our shooting.

3. The judges are consummate professionals

I don’t know why, but I found the practised ease with which the judges did their job surprisingly satisfying.  They have a well-oiled barrage of questions; rather than the one answered  by contestants on TV, they actually ask more like ten to maximise getting an interesting response from them. In a similar vein, nearly every act is asked to perform more than one song; on the show, this is portrayed as slightly unusual. In actuality, it is just another way of maximising the possibility of ‘good TV’, whether through better performances or, indeed, worse ones. The terrible performers were almost uniformly asked to sing more than one song, making sure they’d wrung out the extent of their untalent.

This might sound slightly dispiriting to you, but I actually appreciated this peek behind the curtain; the show might be highly constructed and cynical, but at least they’re efficient about it. Still, the amount of makeup they get slapped on between takes is phenomenal.

4. The ‘drama’ isn’t all constructed

A couple of auditions down, P!nk tribute act Zoe Alexander came onstage. This has been covered a lot in the papers, but basically she flipped out and attacked a cameraman when she wasn’t put through. I rewatched the TV footage and it was pretty accurate as to what we saw; she was denied, and then said she had been instructed to sing a Pink song (a criticism they had of her ‘not doing her own thing’). This feeds back into the fact that the show is round 3; Alexander had already been chosen by the producers, and may have thought she was a shoo-in. In any case, judging by the turmoil that occurred right after this event (and how upset one of the judges was), with producers etc. on the scene for almost 20 minutes, it seems unlikely these sort of things are always constructed. So that’s something.

5. There’s a slightly nasty vein of sexism

This can be picked up a little bit in the TV show, but at the live auditions it’s a lot worse. In Cardiff, this was mainly due to a warm-up man brought on to keep the audience entertained in breaks (there are quite a few). A lot of the stuff he was saying was pretty misogynistic; if broadcast, one could imagine ITV getting into a lot of trouble. Still, perhaps more disturbing was the fact that the audience seemed to lap it up. For me, it colours my experience of the rest of the programme.

7.The audience aren’t as emotionally manipulated as they appear

At least in my case. I should explain. at one point I had some dust in my eye, and I lent over to rub it out. Quick as a flash, my friend spotted  a chance to embarrass me on national television and patted my back sincerely. I wasn’t sure why, until I realised that he’d conspired to make me look as if I’d been deeply emotionally touched by the Harry Styles-alike doing a Toxic cover.

I’m pretty sure that didn’t make the final cut, but by taking reaction shots out of context like that, the show may make things appear differently. The vibe was never that emotional as far as I could tell; more a hen night in a Nandos sort of ambiance.

And, most shocking of all….

8.They don’t play inspiring music live after every successful audition

Talk about your dreams cynically shattered. They must dub it in afterwards or something. Rubbish. I had to sing it in myself. How else are we supposed to know what to FEEL?