Tuesday, May 6, 2025
Blog Page 1623

Fighting for the Tory Right

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Standing from his corner office in Portcullis House, Graham Brady recalls watching the Diamond Jubilee procession from our viewpoint two weeks earlier. With a vista that takes in Westminster Palace, Parliament Square and the imperial marble of Whitehall, they’re certainly worse places to hold down a job. Not that it’s just any old job. As Chairman of the 1922 Committee, Brady is probably the most influential Tory outside the Cabinet, and in practice exercises far more power than a few of those in it. He has Cameron on speed-dial and the Tory leader would be unwise to screen his call.

If Number Ten is the brains of the Conservative Party, the ’22 is its heart and soul. It represents a spectrum of backbench opinion with an eighteen member executive changing periodically. Only government ministers are excluded.The most recent ballot saw the inclusion of prominent backbenchers into the executive including Priti Patel, the fiery right-winger. Brady himself understands it as ‘the plumbing that connects the leader of the party with the backbench membership’, and though his chairmanship is barely older than the Coalition itself, he sees his role as ‘more important when the party is in government, and more important than ever now that there is a Coalition’.

To those who know him, Brady is seen as friendly, principled and not obviously ambitious. It is certainly easy to warm to his avuncular manner. When I make a bad joke – a reoccurring issue in my interviews – he laughs generously. After the interview he takes 5 minutes to let me out of Parliament personally, whereas most MPs would delegate the job to an intern. Not that there was any special chemistry between us by the way, I’m sure it’s run of the mill stuff for him. But his easy-going charm is one of the explanations for Brady’s success from unremarkable beginnings.

Born in Trafford to an accountant father and a secretary mother, Brady is defined by his education. In August he told the New Statesman that ‘I owe my career to grammar school’. From our conversation it was evident that he is spending that career repaying the favour. An alumnus of the small Altrincham Grammar School in Greater Manchester, Brady talks of ‘a great loyalty to my old school’. His maiden speech in Parliament opposed the abolition of the Assisted Places scheme, one of New Labour’s first directives that crippled England’s grammar schools. In Westminster Brady’s name remains synonymous with the grammar schools debate. He was serving as shadow Europe Minister when David Cameron unequivocally came out against grammar schools in 2007. ‘There are times when something is sufficiently important that it is imperative to take a stand’ Brady muses; walking out of the shadow cabinet was his first break with a leadership not in tune with his distinct flavour of conservatism.

He is enthusiastic about Michael Gove’s Education Department however, which since 2010 has approved thousands of new ‘Academy’ schools – ones autonomous from Local Authority Control – and hundreds of radical ‘Free Schools’. Yet as a firm supporter of selective education he is clear that it isn’t enough. Toby Young, who Cherwell interviewed in May, told me his aim in setting up the West London Free School was to ‘create a grammar school ethos’. Brady describes Toby and the efforts of other educational reformers such as Katherine Birbalsingh as ‘fantastic’. However ‘what they won’t do is create a grammar school education’; that requires selection, pure and simple.

Whilst ostensibly remaining against new grammar schools, the Coalition- at the behest of local parents and government – has given the green light to new grammar schools via the back door. Kent County Council has approved a new ‘satellite school’ in Sevenoaks, Kent, officially tied to an existing school 10 miles away in Tonbridge but to all intents and purposes a new school – the first in 50 years. I ask Brady if this stealthy method is the way forward. Thus ensues the longest pause for thought of our interview (still only a paltry few seconds). Carefully he described the move as a ‘small but significant way forward’. The effect will be marginal, but the idea, articulated by Brady is that ‘demand [for new grammars] and pressure in other areas’ will increase. Though the government remains officially wedded to the comprehensive ideal – something the Lib Dems won’t let them stray far from – grammar school campaigners are increasingly pushing on an open door, presenting a ‘very important challenge’ to the pre-New Labour educational orthodoxy.

The other weeping wound of the Conservative Party lies in European policy; here Brady has also dipped his hands in blood – my phrase, not his, of course. When 79 Tory MPs defied a 3 line whip last autumn to vote in favour of an EU in-out referendum, Brady was one of them. Bizarrely he refuses to acknowledge a conflict at all – ‘what you call a rebellion, I call members of parliament acting independently’. ‘Same difference?’ I counter but he isn’t having any of it. An allusion to Churchill is illuminating however. Quoting the sainted Conservative he describes loyalty as owed ‘first to country, then constituency and then party’. It’s a neat way out of explaining lapses of party loyalty: appeal to patriotism, voters and Churchill. Except I can’t help thinking there’s something to it. He just doesn’t come across as at all tribal – the sort of guy who would otherwise support Manchester City providing they weren’t playing the more local Manchester United.

Explaining the relationship between the ’22 and the Executive Brady is clear: ‘we work best when we work privately’. All of his conversations with Cameron are confidential, ‘frank’ and ‘leak proof’. Poisoned by disloyalty his words have no power. so doing Brady avoids the headlines but retains the Prime Minister’s ear. As chair of the ’22 his job is nudge, wink and cajole Cameron on behalf of backbenchers. But he can’t practice this to destruction; after all, a Coalition full of ‘wets’ remains better than one rendered impotent by rebellion. So the relationship goes both ways; instead of whispering sweet nothings into the ear of the Tory Right he tells them when it’s to swallow the bitter pill of Coalition consensus. This is Brady’s essence. He understands his role as keeping the show on the road, rather than stealing it for himself or some swivel-eyed right-wing cause. As such he’s perhaps the Coalition’s greatest asset, though he’d be loath to admit it.

Smash It – Se2E1

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A swift, light-hearted fifteen minutes of football news roundup and discussion, complete with question feature and handy tips for freshers. What are you waiting for? Get listening!

Interview: Marina and the Diamonds

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Marina Diamandis a.k.a Marina and the Diamonds certainly hasn’t shied away from publicity grabbing image transformations. The one-time indie darling turned bleached blonde Barbie doll’s latest album Electra Heart marks a distinct departure from the quirky alt-pop offerings of her 2010 debut Family Jewels.

Just like her hair, the sound has got bigger, blonder and, like an OTT application of Elnett, it now exudes the distinct waft of commercialist over-indulgence. Having supported Coldplay and Katy Perry in the US, she is now embarking on a headline UK tour.

So what prompted this musical volte-face? Diamandis replies pensively, ‘it wasn’t a calculated change in the beginning. It started because I was obsessed with gothic pop music. I wrote a song called ‘Living Dead’, which was very synth heavy, electronic. I think that set the tone for the whole album… and also the fact that club music is so on trend at the moment.”

Electra Heart undoubtedly possesses a new-found ferocity (‘I chew you up and I spit you out/’Cause that’s what your love is all about’) while the album’s overall theme remains ‘Love. And a fear of it’ according to Diamandis. So does this signify a darker musical trajectory? “Yeah it wasn’t a conscious thing but after stepping back from the album, [there is a] paradoxical theme of having innocence and crossing it with darkness.”

Diamandis is continually flexible with her vision. Prioritising image, as opposed to the music itself, seems to be an overriding motive. When I ask her where this raw ambition comes from, she replies with characteristic frankness “I haven’t really been a music fan.

When I got to London I decided I wanted to be a pop star and I didn’t really know why, but luckily I turned out to be a good songwriter. But my desire and interest to create art definitely overshadowed my desire for fame.

“So I think your goals change over time, I don’t really know why I was driven but some people really need to express themselves, and as a pop artist you can focus that in different ways, as a performer, singer, song-writer and if you’re good at it, you can have control over the visual aspects of it as well. ‘

Certainly, Diamandis’ interest in the illusion of American pop culture and its stereotypically tacky, vacuous excesses is an overriding theme in her music to date. Perennially grappling with what it means to be a female pop star, her recent image change coincides rather neatly with this self-conscious attempt to challenge the representation of female music artists while benefiting from the media attention that it affords.

In the creation of what the Observer’s Kitty Empire termed ‘ironic distance’, Marina has played off her newly-contrived image of a sexed-up prima donna, while simultaneously claiming to subvert the concept.

When I ask Marina about gender roles in the music industry she declares ‘You’re either a sexed-up dumb pop starlet or an artist who has integrity and depth and it seems like two can never cross. This relates to Electra Heart quite a lot, because I want that pop model to make my music reach a wider audience, but also write songs that actually have meaning.’

On the motif of American pop culture, which underpins both albums, Diamandis adds ‘on the first album I explored it briefly, in one or two songs but I didn’t develop the concept that much… [Electra Heart is] definitely about that theme of vacuousness and why that’s an issue in American pop culture; it offers you that notion of escapism.’

But dressing up unabashed chart-friendliness in pseudo-intellectualism just fails to elevate what smacks of commercial sell-out. Diamandis may have binged on the candy of short term notoriety, but by veering so wildly from her quirky origins the sugar-low is surely lurking around the corner.

Interview: Alan Davies

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The time arranged for Alan Davies, star of QI and Jonathan Creek, to ring for this interview was 2.40. 2.40 came and went with no phone call: “Well, my watch got repaired and they’d set the time an hour behind. So I got home thinking, “right, I must do the interview.” Then next time I looked at the clock it was four o’clock!” It is reassuring to learn that Alan Davies retains some of his on-screen buffoonery in real life and it perhaps explains why he has been such a fixture on our television screens for the past eight years. He doesn’t need to put on an act.

This year sees Davies make a return to the British stand-up comedy circuit after a gap of nearly 13 years. Asked about this lengthy hiatus Davies replies, ‘I never really intended it to be so long. I haven’t done a show in the UK since 1999. That was the last time I toured.’ Interestingly, however, he has always considered himself to be a stand-up but ‘kept it quiet because I wasn’t doing any gigs!’

Davies visited Oxford last week with his new show, Life is Pain. Asked to explain the reasoning behind this rather gloomy title he was completely deadpan in his response. “Because it is. It is pain. Life is painful for all concerned and I’m talking about the painful bits in my life in order to make people laugh. But it’s also a bit tongue-in-cheek.”

One gets the impression that Davies feels that his recent return to the day job was a good decision. On the prospect of embarking upon his UK tour, he said: “I’m really looking forward to it – as soon as I came back to it I was glad. I did do a few minutes of stand-up in that theatre in Oxford as part of a benefit [in aid of Helen and Douglas House] two years ago and ended up talking about Helen Mirren’s pubes. Not my finest moment.”

Despite the resumption of his stand-up career he claims that he has no concrete plans after this tour, but does aim to continue participating in the much loved QI, a new series of which started a couple of weeks ago.

“We’ve just done J, the tenth year! It’s been good because we went to Australia [to do a live, touring version of QI] and it gave the show a shot in the arm. We thought quite hard about how to do a show there. How to keep it entertaining and punchy for a live audience. Also, we had a lot more women comedians on in Australia. It meant that when we came back we felt able to really freshen up the panel for this year. There are lots of people who haven’t been on before. We’ve had three women on the panel, whereas prior to this series we’ve only had one show where there was more than one woman on the panel, and that was a show specifically about gender. I think we’ve lurched, quite reluctantly into the modern comedy era. I’m quite pleased about that myself, I’ve always been complaining about the bookings.”

Speaking to Davies, there is a sense that he feels a tad frustrated with the restrictions that QI, and television work in general, brings with it. This return to stand-up comedy might herald a sort of second youth for him. Now that he is middle-aged he cares less what people think. He is, however, quick to acknowledge the importance of television in his career. “I’m not knocking television. Television’s been a big part of my life, but stand-up gives you the freedom to do what you want.” Exactly what Alan Davies wants to do remains to be seen, but it sounds as if it might be quite exciting.

U.S. of A.pple

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Tension has got to be running high at the world’s most valuable company about now. Sales of the clunky, rickety old iPhone 4S took a big hit last quarter, with Apple missing their 28m target by 2m, and resultantly falling short of their profit forecasts by $1bn. Though their fleecing of Samsung in the US courts reimbursed them in damages here, this by no means will form an unproblematic blueprint for future litigation worldwide, and Samsung are poised to take revenge if any new Apple products are deemed to have infringed on their strong 4G patents.

It seems that Apple’s courtroom victory was a pyrrhic one – the case has chipped away at the veneer of mystique surrounding Apple, its products and its practices, leaving many cynical about its creative credentials. Consumer technology companies seem to be digging themselves into the trenches, armed with all the esoteric tech patents they can stockpile, in the hope of destroying their competition in a legal world war of attrition, rather than outperforming their rivals on the innovation front. A lot is riding on the commercial success of the new iPhone 5 over the coming weeks, having been announced on September 12 to a less than overwhelming response.

Furthermore, new research says that the US economy could enjoy a substantial material benefit from iPhones if they fly off of the shelves this autumn. In a recent research note, JP Morgan’s chief economist Michael Feroli estimates that iPhone 5 sales “could potentially add between 0.2 and 0.5%-point to fourth quarter annualised GDP growth.” The sums are quite straightforward: 8m in Q4 sales, times $400 (the approximate retail price of $600, minus the $200 worth of components sourced from abroad) equals $3.2bn, or $12.8bn annually. Obviously this is not going to ‘singlehandedly rescue the US economy’, but with recession fears flaring, and a ‘fiscal cliff’ looming at the end of the year, any boost is not to be scoffed at – “The third of a percentage point lift would limit the downside risk to our Q4 GDP growth projection, which remains 2.0%,” as the analysts’ note says.

Now, this is just guesswork, and has already come under scrutiny. Some have questioned the high sales figures, as well as the premises underpinning their conclusions, pointing out that if people buy iPhones with money they would have just spent elsewhere, there would be no GDP boost, just displaced spending. But there’s the rub.

The classical liberal economist Frederic Bastiat wrote in his 1850 essay ‘That Which Is Seen and That Which Is Unseen’ a fable called ‘The Parable of the Broken Window’ to illustrate why the destruction of assets can never be of net benefit to society. Suppose a shop window is broken. It costs six francs to repair the damage, and therefore six francs are transferred from the pocket of the shopkeeper to the pocket of the glazier. The breakage encourages trade to the amount of six francs. Furthermore, in a world of unemployed glaziers, smashing windows can rattle the economy by putting the unemployed back to work. They too then spend the money they make from fitting new glasswork.

However, Bastiat warns, if you then come to the conclusion that it is a good idea to go around breaking windows to cause money to circulate, remember that it is not necessarily true that the six francs spent by every shopkeeper with a brick-shaped hole in his shop-face would not have been spent on something else anyway, like books or clothes or pretentiously marketed consumer electronics. This is called displacement.

Right, but does Bastiat’s fallacy hold? With consumer confidence in a ditch and banks warily sitting on their hands in the wake of the subprime mortgage meltdown of 2007-8, there is evidence that savings are being hoarded, and capital is clogged. Uninvested reserves can be noxious to an economy – smashing windows is like coercing confidence in spending. But wouldn’t it just be easier to say to a glazier, “don’t smash my window, and I’ll give you fifty quid”?

Sadly, alternation between fenestration and defenestration initiatives doesn’t make for sustainable policy. And if I just donate to glaziers, that isn’t trade, and could cause protection racketeering and the formation of a vicious glassmaker mafia. Both charity and creative destruction have very little stimulative effect because they don’t address underlying and long-term problems. Prosperity is best served by innovation and productivity.

Is this relevant to Apple? It depends what you think about ‘upgrades’. You might consider each new reincarnation of the iPhone to be a new product in its own right, in which case upgrading is not so much a case of replacing a broken window as it is investing in a brand new shop front. Or, like me, you might think that it’s a shocking waste of money to throw away your expensive phone to buy a more expensive phone on the strength of minor incremental improvements to its specifications. You might think that buying a new iPhone amounts to breaking your own window just to have it fixed. The point is that the broken glass model’s applicability is contingent upon the belief that the iPhone’s saleability has little or nothing to do with the intrinsic quality of the product, and more to do with the fact that you idiots will go out and buy one anyway. Pressure’s off for Apple then.

But it gets me thinking, wouldn’t it be nice if we, and our friends across the pond, could rely on recovery through intelligent stimulus projects – investment in useful stuff like infrastructure, encouraging employment and growth – rather than on our periodic trashing of old capital.

If it ain’t broke…

The Future According to Google

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Diane Von Furstenburg’s runway show at New York Fashion Week caused a stir not only in the world of fashion. The show’s models strutted their stuff all donning one much-hyped accessory – the Glass by Google augmented reality glasses – while Google co-founder Sergey Brin took up an unlikely spot in the fashionable front row. What can we take from this unlikely collaboration about Google’s innovative product? And is this technology really going to take the world by storm?

Google Glass is a research and development project by Google X, which aims to incorporate digital technologies into everyday life. The head mounted display (HMD) will have similar capabilities to a smartphone, but will interact more ‘seamlessly’ with the surrounding world. This is referred to as ‘augmented reality’ as the display will superimpose information e.g. maps and travel information over the wearer’s field of vision. Interaction with the device could involve voice commands or simple manual actions (such as pushing a button on the side of the device to take a photograph).

This all sounds very futuristic but Google Glass has faced criticism and been the subject of internet parody since its inception. Concerns include questions about the safety of such a device, the possibility that Google could include advertising in an increasingly obtrusive way into users’ lives, queries over the quality of internet signal necessary for the smooth interaction Google’s promotional materials suggest and the effects the widespread use of the technology could have on social etiquette and individual privacy. Some have gone so far as to suggest that the technology’s only real life application might be watching illicit material in public, doing for visual pornography what the Kindle has done for erotic literature. Talking to someone who may be recording you or checking their facts on Wikipedia could also be a little disconcerting. The failures of previous Google X projects, such as the self-driving car, have also been cited as a model for the future of Google Glass.

While some software developers have been given the opportunity to pre-order a prototype for $1500, media outlets have reported that the eventual product should retail at a similar price to high end smartphones. Google’s decision to showcase the glasses on the DVF catwalk suggests its keenness to highlight the company’s innovative edge in the field of wearable technologies, at a time when all eyes are turned towards Apple’s iPhone5. What the early marketing of the product indicates is that Google is most concerned that the headset appear aesthetically desirable (more chic, less geek) and practical (skydivers filmed their falls on the glasses in a stunt in June). Ultimately it may be Google’s ability to convince the public of this, rather than the technology’s intrinsic inventiveness, which determines the project’s success.

Groupon: A Good Deal?

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Whiter teeth, Swarovski earrings and a romantic break in Reading are among the deals being offered in the Oxford area by leading daily discount company Groupon today. Yet you might be right to wonder not only about the quality of the offers, but about the basic business model of these increasingly popular websites (especially if you saw the episode which featured them in the last series of The Apprentice). Harnessing the marketing power of email and social media, these companies flog coupon deals to the public, taking as much as fifty per cent commission for their services, while already offering these goods and services for significantly slashed prices.

The merchants see a huge, sometimes impossible to execute, rise in orders but are paid slowly – the coupon sellers see an immediate cash injection. It is this liquidity in terms of cash flow, as well as the association with tech and social media companies, such as successfully-floated social network/careers service Linkedin, which led to excitement at market-leader Groupon’s listing on the NASDAQ stock exchange last November. The markets responded well. Shares were priced at $20, rising to $28 at the end of the day’s trading, valuing the company at approximately $13billion.

Ten months later, the picture is very different. With shares currently priced at approximately $5, major investors are jumping ship, including those who invested heavily in Groupon, prior to its IPO (initial public offering or stock market launch). These include Marc Andreeson, multi-millionaire entrepreneur, investor and software developer, whose Silicon Valley venture capital firm Andreessen Horowitz invested $40million in Groupon in the months leading up to its flotation. Hedge fund Maverick Capital is reported to have cut its Groupon shares from over six million in March to fewer than two million by the end of June.

What has changed to spark such a widespread loss of trust in the business?

1. Groupon is suffering both from its association with, and division from, technology firms. Following the disastrous the Facebook IPO, lots of tech stocks are struggling. Groupon has been affected by this loss of confidence in the industry as a whole. On top of this, however, the increased competition Groupon is facing has made it clear that the company has no intrinsic advantage over its competitors – they use technology, rather than produce it. Investors bought into a futuristic vision of e-commerce and are now realising this is ultimately a coupon company.

2. The novelty is wearing off. Not only for investors, but for business partners and consumers too. Merchants are starting to consider the real costs involved in offering such massive discounts and paying a middle man. Customers are starting to question the quality of the end products (something outside of Groupon’s direct control) and questioning how good a bargain they might be getting after all. The company is even facing litigation from consumers claiming the coupons’ expiry dates are illegal as they should be considered gift cards (and thus valid over a five year period).

3. Growth brings competition. As Groupon looks to expand into new areas, competition becomes a bigger issue. Its Groupon Goods section for instance (delivering electronics and other household items to American customers) puts it in competition with retail Goliaths such as Amazon and Wal-mart. With Amazon announcing its first UK daily discount service in the last few weeks, initially targeting the London market, Groupon needs to respond quickly and decisively.

4. Groupon hasn’t helped itself. Concern over the company’s accounting practices, following a revision of its fourth quarter financial results, has yet to be allayed. Groupon has bolstered its credentials by appointing Deloitte vice-chairman Robert Bass and Chief Financial Officer of American Express Daniel Henry to its board this May, but the market needs convincing that Groupon is ready to grow into the internet giant it was supposed to be.

‘We Bury Our Own’ Exhibition Review

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If you can manage to brave hordes of school groups running around drawing dinosaurs in the Natural History Museum, work your way through the various displays of stuffed birds and old bones into the Pitt Rivers, and then turn off into a corridor where the toilets are, it would still be easy to miss ‘We Bury Our Own’, a series of photographs by one of the first Aboriginal Australians to be accepted to Oxford University, Christian Thompson.

These photographs seem to sit rather uncomfortably amongst the museum’s other archeological exhibits. It is only when you read that they are a response to the historical photographic collection of the Pitt Rivers that you begin to understand why there are there. Once this conundrum has unravelled, the exhibit provides an interesting diversion.

The collection is small – with only eight photographs it seems to provide more amusement to groups of schoolgirls waiting for their friends outside the loos than it does to a visiting public – but there is no doubt that the photographs are unusual.

In each self-portrait, Thompson has chosen a different way to hide parts of his face using props such as a Tudor warship or the evocative natural forms of crystals, flowers and leaves.

In the exhibition guide, Thompson says that he ‘asked the photographs in the Pitt Rivers Collection to be catalysts and waited patiently to see what ideas and images would surface in the work’, revealing the spiritual background of the work. The artist also drew inspiration from, amongst other things, stories of young warriors and their tales of excruciating pain alongside incredible beauty, and even ‘visited the water by firelight’ for artistic guidance.

Indeed, the work is keyed towards the question of whether art is able to perform more of a ‘spiritual repatriation’ than a physical one, and the experiments with crystals and hidden eyes do demonstrate this obsession with the spiritual. This is then contextualised by the rather creepy, funereal attire that is sub-fusc, which Thompson wears.

Whether you believe in and want to explore the arguments behind spiritual repatriation, or merely just have 10 minutes to spare and are lurking on South Parks Road, do head for the Long Gallery at the Pitt Rivers Museum. Where else will you see sub-fusc juxtaposed against a model boat or some chunks of amethyst?

Highway 61 Reissued

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Bob Dylan has just put out his thirty-fifth studio album, Tempest. It features an angry track called ‘Early Roman Kings’ which, contrary to its title, has a deal of contemporary resonance.

Dylan growls about crooked bankers in their “shark skin suits/Bow ties and buttons and high-top boots…Meddlers and peddlers, they buy and they sell/They destroyed your city, they’ll destroy you as well”. Dylan it seems then is still, well into his 73rd year, sticking it to the man. And good on him for putting a bit of fire and spit into his new effort, his most unsettling album since 2009’s Christmas in the Heart.

Yet the times have a-changed, and now the music that once provided the soundtrack for the disillusioned counterculture of 1960s America may become a selling point for an unusual bond offering marketed to the wealthiest individuals in the US financial sector.

The $300m bond, which was to due be packaged by Goldman Sachs on behalf of Sesac, a privately held performing rights organisation from Nashville Tennessee, was to be backed by royalties from music by Dylan, as well as Neil Diamond and Canadian rock outfit Rush. Recently however, the scheme has encountered resistance, and its future is currently uncertain.

On the one hand, it’s easy to see why Dylan’s royalties would represent a lucrative investment. The prolific folk legend has certainly put out a lot of songs, which not only means for a lot of royalty-backed bonds, but also a lot of scope for bored journalists to convert track titles into laboured finance puns, such as ‘Tangled up in Annuity’, ‘Like a Rolling Interest Rate’, and bizarrely, ‘Blowin’ in the Bond Market’. I will of course refrain from such hack-work throughout…

On the other hand, so-called ‘esoteric’ asset-backed securities haven’t the most illustrious history. In the late 1990s, David Bowie introduced a security, worth over £30m, backed by the royalties from a catalogue of classics from the heyday of Ziggy Stardust and Aladdin Sane. Bowie was something of a pioneer in this, the benefit for him lying in his being able to take a lump-sum advance on royalties which otherwise would have unfurled their value only over a number of years.

For investors however, the venture was about as disastrous as Major Tom’s, with the bonds falling to Earth when ratings agency Moody’s downgraded them repeatedly from A3, the seventh highest rating, to only one level above ‘junk’. Revenues missed their estimates by several millions. That’s pretty far out.

Bowie, ever the trendsetter, actually started a craze that resulted in a hotbed of ‘securitization’ in the financial sector, most infamously in the subprime mortgage market. Like Bowie, banks looked for an up-front payment from their debt, selling securities all too often backed by subprime mortgages – loans handed out indiscriminately to customers highly likely to default. Notoriously, when these sham loans were exposed, banks made billions in losses, major financial institutions such as Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers ceased to exist, and the world went into a credit meltdown. So there you go, the Thin White Duke caused the credit crunch.

In the pre-crisis years, esoteric securities were backed by all kinds of weird and wonderful assets. In 2007, one ABS deal pooled together cash flows generated by shares of stallion syndicates.. In the competitive world of horse racing, a thoroughbred with a winning record can command astonishing breeding fees, or ‘stud fees’. American thoroughbred Storm Cat famously commanded a $500,000 stud fee, making for a horse so valuable that he was placed under the protection of a twenty-four-hour armed guard. Theoretically, there is a predictable cashflow associated with a thoroughbred siring offspring, and therefore racehorse semen is not an uncommon asset with which to bolster securities. Now there’s an investment with sticking power.

Today, despite an understandable caution about esoteric securities in the wake of the credit crunch, investors are dabbling in a range of unusual assets, from publishing rights to pharmaceutical patents. In March this year, Domino’s Pizza sold $1.6bn of bonds offering hungry investors a slice of future restaurant franchise revenues. Last year, Miramax Film completed the sale of $550 million in debt backed by licensing and distribution revenues of films in its library, such as Pulp Fiction, The English Patient and Good Will Hunting.

The interminable hunt for high yields has inspired wide-ranging creativity on the part of investment banks in this area – the ‘miscellaneous’ section of asset-backed securities data compiled by JP Morgan makes up a full 5% of its $128bn asset total this year. According to data from Barclays, there has been $13.6bn worth of issuance of esoteric ABS so far this year, compared with $13bn for the whole of 2011.

The resurgence of royalty-backed bonds has much to do with the advances in technology we’ve seen since Bowie bonds rocketed onto the scene almost twenty years ago. With a proliferation of dedicated digital-TV channels, the popularity of iTunes and the prevalence of online ads, sales volumes promise to be greater this time around, even in spite of the potential disruptions of music piracy. It is also possible that, after the financial meltdown, way hedge-fund managers would be keen to hold bonds that capitalize on intellectual property and therefore aren’t quite so closely tied to the vicissitudes of broader market forces. Whether investors will see an encore performance for these derivatives in the near future however is yet to be seen.

Sooner or later, one of us must know.