Sunday 29th June 2025
Blog Page 1513

Review: Some Funny

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★★★★★
Five Stars

Last night at the Burton Taylor studio I was lucky enough to encounter that rare Oxford beast of genuinely funny student comedy. This night of darkly surreal humor in a tight, intimate setting left me thinking this is probably not the last we’ll see of the Buttless Chaps.

Featuring quick witted, acerbic comedy writing from Will Hislop and Barney Fishwick, and executed with acute timing and panache by Kieran Ahern, Barney Iley and Phoebe James, this is comedy that deliberately steers away from the trap of self-reverential , psuedo-intellectual, conspicuously ‘Oxford’ kind of humor that so many comedy acts here can fall into. Not bad for an effort that stemmed from “me and Will begging for attention at the family Sunday meal”.

The writing duo name Leslie Nielson, Harry & Paul and the Blues Brothers as influences, but are keen to play down any associations between established comedy acts and last nights performance, instead describing their mantra as “throw shit at the audience and see what sticks”. It’s clearly a little more thought out than that though; opening musical number Take Me Back, Please and future classic Henry VIII share DNA with kiwi comedians Flight Of the Concords, and any League of Gentlemen fans in the audience will see parallel humor in Hitchcock. Shampoo had me in stiches over some of the best puns I’ve heard since I was about twelve, and the difficulties of switching products from “mustard gas to mustard”.

The Buttless Chaps themselves were hesitant to identify any particular targets in their comedy crosshairs but religion and Americans get subjected to comic humiliation the most, particularly in Bishop in Confessional, E! fashion interview and Smart Guy. The best example of this being the suggestion that you can’t get wi-fi in churches because they don’t want to compete with “an invisible skill set that actually works”. But far and away the most hilarious sketch of the night is the ambiguously titled Porn which, as the pair later point out to me, is largely funny because “you know people in the audience are thinking ‘shit…I’ve watched that once today already!'” At this point I looked sheepishly into my pint glass.

For a small, previously unheard of student comedy production to sell out on its first run is testament to the quality of writing and execution on display. This success is cherry-topped by their selection by the Oxford Revue to travel with them to this year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival. However, I think The Buttless Chaps should consider changing the name of their show in the meantime – from Some Funny to Very, Very, Very Funny.

Somerville-Jesus Ball Committee members apologise

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Six members of the Somerville-Jesus Ball Committee have written an open letter apologising for “key flaws” in the organisation of the event, and “arrogance” in its publicity campaign.

The letter acknowledges problems in the ball, especially, “the organisation of food, the length of queues for the maze, and the tone of our publicity campaign.” It goes on to say, “We would like to apologise for these mistakes, in particular with regards to the organisation of food; the provisions we made were very clearly insufficient, and this is not acceptable for an event commanding a ticket price of £110/£150.”

The letter has been signed by six of the ball’s nine committee members, including Operations Manager Eddie Shore, Head of Gastronomy Clara Collyns, and Head of Design Toby Mann. Three senior committee members, Chairman Sam Levin, Vice-Chairman and Treasurer Alwyn Clarke, and PR Manager Pete Endicott, did not sign the letter.

The letter is almost two thousand words long and gives a detailed analysis of the night’s flaws. It concludes by stating, “Whilst we would like to provide a breakdown for costs, and indeed this is something that the six of us are working on providing at some point hopefully in the not too distant future, the Ball Treasurer is the only member of the committee in possession of the accounts of the ball.”

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Eddie Shore reading out the apology in Jesus JCR

The ball, which was held in Somerville on Saturday 4th May, was advertised as “one last night of decadence, debauchery, and indulgence’’. Yet it was criticised after allegations that it was mis-sold.

The original Facebook group was deleted after students condemned the event online. A separate Facebook group was created on Thursday which condemned the ball committee for having “unceremoniously censored… the many attempts to convey to the Committee the extreme dissatisfaction we felt in the execution of the ball.” The page currently has around 150 likes.

The latest letter from ball committee members acknowledges these complaints, apologising, “for the unacceptably large gap in time between the raising of these concerns, and the provision of this response.” It expresses hope their response is “fair, and we hope that once you have finished reading it, you will feel that we have been honest, open, and receptive to what you have all had to say.”

It goes on to identify “four main reasons” for the ball’s shortcomings: “misplaced trust in our catering company, poor set up due to unforeseeable problems, a lack of careful consideration of the demand for vegetarian food, and a lack of events management experience.” The letter continues, “These are not excuses, but explanations.”

The apology also states, “There was an arrogance about our publicity campaign, which has unfortunately continued well after the ball, and is something that, whilst unintentional, has caused a great deal of irritation, and for this, we would also like to apologise.”

Students’ responses to the letter have been mixed. One student who attended the ball told Cherwell, “An event costing this kind of money really shouldn’t be taken lightly and it is obvious from the response of the ball-goers that people are really upset. Therefore, I think it’s the committee’s duty to do their best to talk to people and try to rectify the situation as best as possible.”

The committee members who did not sign the letter were unavailable for comment on Monday night.

Electric Lines

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CLOTHES Topshop neon jumper and electric blue skirt, stylist’s own earrings; Primark orange heart dress, stylist’s own earrings; Topshop patterned dress, MariaFrancescaPepe Chain Necklace; Topshop shoes worn throughout

MODEL Diana Hindle Fisher 
PHOTOGRAPHER Henry Sherman
STYLIST
 Tamison O’Connor

BEAUTY CORNER – Punk Life

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The Met Ball (a.k.a The Fashion Oscars) held last week in New York City’s Metropolitan Museum of Art cemented the status of punk in fashion. But punk is not just about black, leather, fishnets and spikes – more than any other look, it is seen through bleached brows, strong eyes, shocking hair, and deep lips. 

  

THE HAIR

  • Anne Hathaway went the whole hog with short cropped bleached blonde hair, styled into a semi-quiff. Brightly coloured hair is the sure-fire way to achieve the punk look. Choose colours like neon green, shocking pink or bright blue. For the brave among you, go ahead and dye the lot, but if you’re not quite that daring you can always add highlights to your dark mane.
  • If you are not quite ready yet for such a transformation, style your hair into a messy up-do, then add lots and lots of safety pins. These need to be big and bold to really make a statement, so go for bigger-than-usual ones at Oxford’s many crafts shops, or at the Gloucester Green or East Oxford markets.
  • No time? A quiff like J-Lo’s is a must, or don a black wig like Madonna did.

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THE EYES & BROWS

  • Like your hair, go for bright, out-there colours like purple, teal or hot pink (the ultimate punk colour) – neutrals just aren’t enough! Layer these colours on you lids, blending the darker shade along the crease. MAC Chromographic Pencils, which are multi-use, are available at Debenhams for £11.50 each.

  • Heavy eyeliner is a staple of the punk look – for both guys and girls. Ginnifer Goodwin paired black smokey eyes with big, geisha-like brows, but if you decide to go for the modern clean, graphic look like January Jones, use a liquid liner, such as Benefit’s Magic Ink Jet Black Liquid Eyeline, £15.50, which creates a sleek, bold line and does not shift all night. If you are a bit shaky with the hands, go for the ultra precise Smashbox Jet Black Liquid Liner Pen, £22.50; and tone down the brows.

  • Another punk favourite is face illustrations: hearts, stars… while you’re at it with the liner, why not experiment a bit?

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THE LIPS

  • Dark berry shades are the way forward, as seen on Miranda Kerr, Nicole Richie, Katy Perry, and ultimate punk girl Rooney Mara. Sleek True Colour Lipstick in Mulberry, £4, is very pigmented and one of the darkest plums on the market.
  • Alternatively, you can never go wrong with a red lipstick. Kate Lasting Finish Lipstick for Rimmel, in 01, £5.49, is a beautiful red concocted by the queen of punk Kate Moss. 

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Protestors criticise Kagame at Said Business School

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Protestors marred the visit of Rwandan President  Paul Kagame to Said Business School on Saturday, hurling dozens of eggs and other debris at the front of the business school in order to inveigh against what they claimed was Kagame’s record of genocide and corruption.

At his speech inside the school, Kagame was questioned by business school Dean Peter Tufan on his human rights record, among other issues.

Kagame visited Oxford to receive the “the inaugural Distinction of Honor for African Growth Award”, an award organised by students at the school. Having been President since 2000, he was central to the reconstruction of Rwanda after the 1994 genocide. However, critics argue that his regime has presided over human rights abuses.
 
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Salvator Cusimano, a postgraduate student at St Antony’s College, launched a petition against the visit. The letter, which has been signed by tutors including the founder of Oxford’s Refugee Studies Centre, states that Kagame should not be invited due to his allegedly undemocratic record.
 
 “Inviting Mr. Kagame to accept an award suggests that the Oxford Business Network for Africa, the Saïd Business School, and the University of Oxford condone Mr. Kagame’s actions, and sends the wrong message about the University’s commitment to peace, development, and human rights”, it said.
 
Professor Peter Tufano, Peter Moores Dean at Saïd Business School, told Cherwell before the protest, “The Oxford Africa Business Conference is a student-led event, held by the Oxford Business Network for Africa, a student organisation.
 
“We prize open discussion and in line with the University’s Freedom of Speech policy we have not sought to prevent the students from extending this invitation. President Kagame’s presence in the Saïd Business School does not imply any endorsement by the School or the University of his views or actions. We are aware that President Kagame is considered by some to be a controversial figure and there will be the opportunity for those present to challenge him as appropriate.”

Cusimano has previously told Cherwell, “I’m organizing the campaign not because I oppose Mr. Kagame’s visit; I think that it could have provided a platform for an excellent discussion if framed appropriately. I started the campaign because the event was not only happening without any apparent critical discussion, but was lauding him at a timewhen the extent of his government’s abuses are becoming ever more apparent.”

President Kagame visited to give the keynote speech the 5th Annual Oxford Africa Business Conference. Conference attendees arriving at the business school Saturday morning were met by a group of a dozen protesters wielding signs stating, “Paul Kagame = War Criminal / Stop His Impunity;” “Kagame a Criminal in Power Rwandans Need: Justice, Democracy, Free Expression;” and “Peace in Congo.”

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The protestors also distributed literature claiming “Kagame has more blood on his hands that Hitler: 6,000,000 Congolese 500,000 Rwandans.” The literature also blamed Kagame for the assassination of four former Rwandan presidents. 

At noon, when the hundreds of conference attendees converged for lunch in the foyer, which has a full glass façade facing south onto Park End street, protestors, whose numbers reached around forty, launched raw eggs, water bottles and other debris at the glass window.

Conference attendees responded mostly with laughter, as over a dozen Oxford University security guards and Oxford City police, two of whom were on horseback, enforced a fifteen metre barrier between the protesters and main façade.

President Kagame and his entourage entered the business school through the rear in order to avoid the protestors. Shortly after one o’clock he spoke in the Nelson Mandela Lecture Theatre on the catalysts behind sub-Saharan African economic growth, before answering a series of questions from Tufan, the Dean, and audience members.

Tufan initially praised Kagame’s economic policies, before launching into a critique of his human rights record phrased in the form of diplomatically-worded open-ended questions. Kagame responded that these critiques were predicated on incorrect facts, and that most of his critics were foreign, whereas an overwhelming majority of Rwandans approve of him. 

According to Amnesty International, “opposition figures and journalists remain in danger of arbitrary and impartial prosecution” and Freedom House has said that Rwanda is “not free”.

Yet Kagame’s regime has been praised by some commentators, with Bill Clinton describing him as “one of the greatest leaders of our time.” Rwanda was the second country which wasn’t associated with the British Empire to join the Commonwealth in 2009. Until last year, the UK contributed £21m in development aid to Rwanda annually, and Tony Blair remains an unpaid government advisor.

Renaissance Man: Week Five

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It’s the Finals countdown, as 1980s Swedish rockers ‘Europe’ might have sung had they been studying at Oxford instead of playing sold-out stadium concerts. Students are procrastinators without peer – apart from of course their peers, who are also very good at procrastinating.

However, there comes a point when one simply hasn’t got the time to procrastinate, as the dread hour of Finals approaches for some of us. What’s the black-belt procrastinator like myself to do? Giving up procrastination suddenly is a dangerous move that can leave you with withdrawal symptoms.

Fortunately, the free market has come up with a solution: simply outsource your procrastination to an overseas worker. There are a number of companies out there which offer this indispensable service.

For as little as £22.50 a day, you can have a dedicated Indian graduate procrastinating on your behalf, allowing you to get on with the work you have to be doing. These procrastinators work in huge procrastination centres, where they’re trained in particular British ways of procrastinating, like making endless cups of tea. It’s not impersonal; I get a daily email update from my current surrogate Sanjeev, telling me all the ways in which he’s wasted his day so I don’t have to.

Customers can choose from a variety of packages, ranging from a simple one-off procrastination for an imminent deadline to a permanent state of procrastination.

Depending on how serious you are about procrastinating, you can also choose to give your surrogate access to your Facebook, where they will regularly post idle statuses and draw up a quick summary of your news feed so you can stay in the loop.

Critics may say that outsourcing procrastination is immoral, on a level with paying for essays from a dodgy company. But it’s simple supply and demand: I want to procrastinate, but I don’t have the time.

So it makes perfect sense to pay a highly skilled graduate to waste their time instead. In fact, they’re probably much more intelligent than me, making the procrastination even more effective.

However, I should warn readers before eagerly signing up to any old procrastination service. The industry ombudsman is currently investigating complaints that some companies shirk their procrastination duties, with staff spending their time studying for part-time qualifications or achieving other useful work. Not Sanjeev though. Last I heard from him, he was rearranging his desk for the seventeenth time that day, while I was hard at work writing this column. Oh… shit.

Creaming Spires: Week Five

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The tone is about to be lowered, along with your undies. This week Creaming Spires focuses on anal sex – the dirty (in both respects of the word) kind of fucking that divides the masses. But whether you love it or hate it, you have to try it at least once – if only to verify that you aren’t one of those girls whose G-spot is located up your chuff, in which case perhaps you’ll make a full conversion and start poo-pooing ‘normal’ sex.

Anal sex is what my girlfriends and I have always referred to as the ‘eight-month milestone’. Unless you are uber kinky and love taking it up the bum, in general, anal sex gets brought up in conversation around eight months into any heterosexual relationship. Eight months is around about the time when you have aced vaginal sex and feel sufficiently comfortable with your partner that should any mishaps arise as couple – such as those horror stories you hear of girls shitting the bed (quite literally) – you could laugh it off and give it another whack.

The trick to anal sex is two-fold: alcohol and copious amounts of lube (what ever you do, don’t be stingy). For any first-timer, the rumours are true – it will hurt, A LOT.

In hindsight, I wish I had prophelactically popped a couple of paracetamol; then perhaps I would speak more highly of anal sex. I tried to battle through the initial pain – stopping halfway to put a finger up my boyfriend’s bum so that he could relate to the pain. He had the audacity to complain at the pain of a spindly female forefinger, when I was having a six-inch (eight-inch if he is reading this) baton pummelled into me.

I certainly was not aroused by the whole experience, and without the build up to a climax, and the fact that I was in pain, my boyfriend wasn’t particularly a fan either.

The last helpful piece of advice I can offer is to ensure a clean and slow dismount – after all, no one wants a smeared duvet cover