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Sunday, June 26, 2022

University College seeks name for new kitten

Charlie Hancock reports on the search for the name of the late Clement Cattlee’s successor.

Charlie Hancock
Charlie Hancock
Charlie is reading Human Sciences at Hertford College. After working as a News Editor and Deputy Editor, she was co-Editor in Chief with Jill Cushen for HT22.

While waiting to welcome students back through their heavy front doors, University College has welcomed their “smallest fresher” – a little white kitten with a pink nose, pink toe-beans, and tabby splotches. But there’s a problem: she doesn’t have a name!

The kitten exploring one of University College’s quadrangles. Image: University College

The kitten vaguely resembles Clement Cattlee, University College’s previous cat, who was adopted by the College in December 2020 after he made his home in the Lodge. Unfortunately, Clement passed away a couple of weeks later.

The kitten provided a statement, which was translated by Domestic Bursar Angela Unsworth, which has been published on the College’s website. The statement shows the kitten seems a little unsure of her new surroundings, but is settling in well: “She [Angela Unsworth] did say it was beautiful here, and She was right about that. She said the people in the Lodge were really lovely and I would have a lovely bed of my own and nice food and toys and someone to talk to whenever I wanted to talk, and she was right about that too. She also said though, that there would be a welcoming committee; so where is it? Where is the adoring public I was promised?”

The kitten continued: “I do understand though that I am a very lucky kitten indeed to be coming to such a place and I undertake to be the best College cat that I can be and grow up in the best Univ traditions.”

Simpkin IV of Hertford College, Walter of Exeter College, and Admiral Flapjack and Professor Biscuit of St Hugh’s College have been approached for comment.

The kitten shows-off her pink toe-beans while rolling on the floor of the lodge. Image: University College

The kitten has also made clear that it will not cause any trouble in the College, and will be available to provide company to students. She said: “So, if anything gets broken, I will not have been there at the time, if there is sick in the quad it will not be mine and I will have been curled up in my bed all night (well, unless there’s grass in it and then I suppose I am caught red handed), but if anyone is sad or upset and in need of the very best feline company I will be there whenever I am needed. I’m already grateful to our lovely old members who have set me up with enough kitten food to get me by for a considerable period without even knowing me, She says I can count myself very fortunate to be the Univ cat; I’m sure she knows what she’s talking about on this. I look forward to reading all about me on the various social media Univ Cat adoration pages which are now certain to pop up all over!”

Students and University College staff are invited to help choose a name on the College website. Suggestions can be made until Monday September 13th. The College will then compile a shortlist of names, which will be put to a vote.

Kitten-fanciers are advised to keep an eye on the College website and social media to stay updated.

Image: University College

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