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10 things that happen in your first week at Oxford

You arrive at college with a lot of enthusiasm.



You learn loads of new lingo, like ‘MatricuLASH’ and ‘LolaLASH’.



You join LawSoc, despite having no interest in law.



You meet this guy:



You are absolutely astounded at how much it costs to join the Oxford Union (but you do anyway). 



You get given your first piece of work and realise that everyone who said uni was a breeze after A-Levels was LYING.



You wear heels once, then swiftly decide to go clubbing in Converse.



Tears, drinks and bodily fluids aplenty are spilled on the Park End cheese floor, something you will continue to see for the next three years.



You meet the people who were a bit too keen on the Fresher/Offer Holder pages.



You go to freshers’ fair and have to make the cripplingly hard decision of which student publication to join (and you choose Cherwell, obviously).



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