It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for. The Streisand of our generation, the great Cher Lloyd, has released a follow up to 2011’s Sticks + Stones. Cher Lloyd would probably be a better fit for the Where Are They Now? column than a weekly review. Her career was launched off the back of coming fourth on X Factor and a track called ‘Swagger Jagger’ that had literally everything sonic and visual that it is possible to despise in ‘10s music. But on Sorry I’m Late, Lloyd has tried to reinvent herself by swapping ship-sinking bling and ASDA for black blazers and Sainsbury’s Taste The Difference (it’s not quite Waitrose).
Opener ‘Just Be Mine’ features a wailing “uh huh ahh” that is so autotuned it sounds like a pink Dell laptop having an orgasm, but it’s undeniably catchy, in a sort of middle-of-the-road, I-really-don’t-want-to-like-this-but-I’m-finding-myself-singing-along kind of way. Unfortunately, any enthusiasm, enjoyment or belief one might have originally felt for the album has well and truly died by track three, ‘I Wish (feat. T.I)’. Ballad ‘Sirens’ is a wishy washy attempt to create something heartfelt, but the dull and predictable melody make you switch off within the first minute. Sorry I’m Late may be a definite step up from Sticks + Stones, but I can’t help thinking that ASDA swag Lloyd was more entertaining.