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Univ safe opened after more than a decade

A mysterious safe which baffled Univ students for over a decade has finally been opened this week. Breaking into the safe cost over £100 more than the amount found inside.

The safe has been in the JCR President’s office since the late 1990s, but none of the current Univ staff can remember the safe being opened and its origins remain unclear.
A motion proposed by the JCR President to open the safe was passed during the first JCR meeting of term, as University College students voted almost unanimously to spend £180 on a locksmith.

The safe was opened during the middle of last week, but JCR President Dan Tomlinson ratcheted up the tension by refusing to reveal the contents of the safe until Sunday’s JCR meeting. Curiosity levels were running high prior to the revelation, as Tomlinson was seen “looking excited” about the safe’s contents.

Sunday meeting was attended by over 50 students, who watched with anticipation as Tomlinson played them the video link of him opening the safe for the first time. Breaking into the safe had proved to be far from straightforward, as the locksmith worked at the lock for over an hour before resorting to drilling though it.

The safe contained, according to Tomlinson, “just a bit more than £70”, all in 1p, 2p, 5p, 10p and 20p coins. Though this constituted a loss to the JCR accounts of around £110 Tomlinson remained upbeat, telling Cherwell, “It was quite exciting for everyone to find out what was inside: though we didn’t make our money back it was definitely worth it!”

The JCR Treasurer agreed that the expenditure was worthwhile, saying, “Obviously it was disappointing that we didn’t find a few gold bars in there, but I think it was better to open it and make sure.”

Most JCR members seemed prepared to overlook the damage to the JCR budget. Second year PPEist Nadia Odunayo commented, “The enjoyment experienced when the Univ community watched it together in the JCR was technically worth more than the monetary amount put forward to open it.”

However, some questioned the wisdom of spending such an extravagant amount on a locksmith. Thomas Cole, a second year historian, described himself as “disappointed” with the money wasted. He said, “I was prepared to give it a go with a crowbar and hammer for £20. The money could have gone on something far more important, such as outrageous rugby stash.”

The money from the safe has now been paid into the JCR bank account. There appear to be no particular plans for how to use it, with the JCR treasurer commenting that it would simply be made available for spending “like any other money”.

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