it was cloudy
for the first time in months and the flowers
welcomed the rain; or maybe
it was sunny but inside it rained,
drip dripping onto the carpet.
my nails were too long
as I stared at our hands entwined for hours,
her skin so caressed and delicate
but growing colder in mine as I tried to
pour my love into her lifeblood.
she said
Now let me sleep, I’ll wake when I wake,
and when woken asked where she was
As I looked around her home and thought heaven.
my brother’s voice
was hoarse from reading aloud
and the pulse was so weak so I
watched the delicate wrist bone
passed down to me and pretended
her tremors were squeezing back.
I ate sugar cubes
straight from the bowl and bought
her favourite pastry at the bakery
and handed over my entire wallet
as payment.
I fled to the garden
with the view over the river
to catch her soul in a swallowtail
and forget the anger that did
nothing to absolve the injustice.
they took away her
wheelchair and her morphine and her hospital bed
and there was a hole in the living room the size
of a struggle.
a pillow was left and
I inhaled with my lungs that could breathe
the delicate scent of her, soft
and fading steadily.
