It’s officially Hot Girl Hilary, the season for getting your freak on, the only time it’s acceptable to get with a guy from Christ Church on a Bridge Thursday (acceptable may be a strong word, I’m judging you a just a little bit for your choice in men). However, if you want to live Hot Girl Hilary to its fullest, The Big O by sexpert Oloni is a must-read.
Described by Vogue as “the reigning sex and relationship guru of Twitter”, the British-Nigerian sex-positive educator writes the ultimate sex-positive manifesto to help women reclaim and pursue their sexual desires and autonomy. It is a book that doesn’t gloss over the facts and details, expressing Oloni’s clear wishes that we become less squeamish about sex. Sex is something that women are too often taught is something that happens to us, rather than something that we enjoy. Oloni’s dedication at the beginning of the book “To the women who refuse to let society dictate what they should or shouldn’t do with their bodies.” expresses her desire for sexual freedom for women, and what better book for me to recommend to the Hot Girls* of Oxford University.
Many of us can remember our own experiences with sex education at school which basically consisted of “penis in vagina”, “here’s a condom, now put it on this cucumber”, and my personal favourite, the ever-helpful, “do not have sex or you WILL get pregnant”. For most of us, this cisgendered-centred, heteronormative, and rather patriarchal form of sex education did nothing to quell our curiosities about the act of having sex. We grew up watching R’n’B and Hip-Hop music videos with video vixens shaking ass on TV, belting out the lyrics to Ignition (we didn’t know R. Kelly was a pedophile back then, we were just kids!), sex was everywhere, yet no one was telling us about it. Yet as Oloni points out in her book “Talking about sex on a biological, emotional and physical level are all vital. It helps us not only to understand how our bodies work, but also to become comfortable with them. We become empowered when we make what feel like the right sexual decisions in our life.”
In March 2022, Cherwell did a sex survey which revealed Exeter College as Oxford’s ‘top shaggers’, and as an Exeter student myself, I believe I am the perfect messenger to tell you about The Big O. It’s hard as an Oxford student to navigate an active and healthy sex life. Between the essay deadlines and the quite frankly immature student male population, it is difficult, especially for male-attracted individuals, to find the time to get to know their bodies and what they like on a sexual, as well as, emotional level. I am ashamed to admit that it was only last year that I discovered that women pee out of a different hole that is not the vagina. Despite having a vagina myself, I realised that I knew next to nothing about the organ. Lucky for me, Oloni gives us a rather helpful diagram of the vagina and the penis, including, the star of the show, the clitoris.
Oloni’s book gives us all the details that a student at university, a time which is often pivotal for sexual exploration, needs to hear. Dealing with slut-shaming and purity culture in a world that is less than kind to women, and seems to express distaste towards any type of sexual pleasures outside of heterosexual missionary, means that a lot of us don’t get to explore what sex means to us outside of these confines. Oloni talks to us about a range of topics from consent and heartbreak to kinks and fetishes. Its slightly ambiguous title means it can be on your shelf without your nosy parents clocking you! And therefore, it is the perfect book to help you learn about yourself, your body, and your pleasures.
Have a very Hot Girl Hilary!
*Hot Girl Hilary is not exclusive to those who identify as female, or to those assigned female at birth. All genders are welcome to Hot Girl Hilary.