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Corpus names plant as presidential candidate

There was a surprise nomination for the Corpus Christi JCR Presidential election this week as ‘Jeremy the Plant’ was added to the ballot.

Having been found on Cornmarket Street by current President Jack Evans, the plant has been attending JCR meetings and raising his profile in college until last week he secured a proposer and seconder which enabled him to stand in the election.

Jan Willem Scholten, who describes himself as Jeremy’s ‘Chief Strategist’, commented, “Jeremy the Plant has instantly made a profound impression on the JCR at Corpus. His steely resolve and stubborn yet solemn silences during JCR meetings have greatly improved the quality of the debate.” He told Cherwell that there has never been a greener candidate and that all should look out for his proposed autobiography “From Fertile Soil” in future years.

Ivan Dimov chose to second Jeremy’s application despite running for president himself. He told Cherwell, “I believe there is room for sportsmanship in the cut-throat, vindictive and backstabbing world of student politics, and I felt it was only right to support Jeremy in his ambition, despite being my competitor for the love of the Corpus people.” He indicated that he identified with Jeremy on many issues – both detest salad – so it seemed almost natural for the candidates to support each other.

Dimov also explained Jeremy’s reluctance to release a statement to Cherwell directly, “Jeremy is a candidate committed to the humane treatment of plants. As such, he has so far avoided all paper media.”

The other candidates are also taking Jeremy’s nomination very seriously, with Eddie Lundy commenting, “That he has risen so high from such lowly beginnings is a testament both to himself and the college.” He suggested that it was good for JCR candidates to challenge the accepted norms, for example that JCR committees are for humans only. He further implied that Jeremy was perhaps his biggest competitor, although he did note that “the fact that he is dying may suggest he can be beaten.”

Kezia Lock, also standing, took the nomination as a positive for the college saying it shows, “Corpus is an inclusive college [that doesn’t] discriminate against anyone or anything that fulfils the MRS GREN criteria.” Whilst indicating that Jeremy having a successful campaign would suggest “that Corpuscles have lost all faith in humanity”, she still admitted that she felt threatened by Jeremy’s campaign. Lock argued, “Little Shop of Horrors teaches us that when plants make bids for power loads of murder will be committed.”

The final candidate, Samuel Robberts, told Cherwell, “I feel I am a better communicator of ideas, and a leader of people. But Jeremy has got me in terms of reaching for the skies and blue sky thinking.” He did admit that, “There is a threat from Jeremy, he may well split my vote and cause some unexpected results.”

However, Robberts added, “Jeremy cannot win the election, he hasn’t paid his JCR levy and thus his candidature is strictly unconstitutional.”

Current Corpus President Jack Evans commented, “I think he has what it takes to be JCR President. He not only has the leadership skills necessary, he also has the vision to match it,” continuing, “I can see Jeremy taking a pretty vocal role in Prescom and OUSU council, and he’s already told me that he has his eye on the OUSU presidency in 2012 and other presidents better ‘watch their backs’.”

The other candidates did point out that the nomination of Jeremy the Plant could have a very positive effect for JCR politics at Corpus. Lock stated, “If he gets people to talk seriously about the merits of the other candidates, he’s done a good thing.”

Robberts concurred, “The fact nominations for this year are up on the last two years combined suggests that this JCR has found a balance between the serious and the light-hearted which is beneficial for the JCR.”

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