Honor Murison, First Year, Psychology, Worcester
As the first one to arrive, I couldn’t help but worry that the classic movie scene would unfold whereby your date shows up, sees you, but makes a swift exit on realizing that you are the intended date. As James turned up ten minutes later, dragging Matt with him, it turns out that Matt had indeed done exactly that (although he claims not to have seen us). Deciding to forgive and forget, the date started well with the normal “where are you from?” chat, but, as it progressed, I started to fear that Annabelle’s use of the phrase “cuff-me” every time she referred to hockey or pubmaster (frequently), was making her a little more of an impressive candidate to both potential dates.
However, as this fear began to take hold, Matt, reading his phone, paled in colour due to a message calling a pubmaster on the other side of town, thus bringing a swift end to our meeting. His athletic sprint to the exit on his mission to get to the pub sealed Annabelle’s affectionate approval, and so it looked as though I was with James. Leaving Turf, he walked with me to Cornmarket to get food, conversation still flowing, making me feel that a second date was a possibility. That was until he started talking about his girlfriend.
Honor on Matt
First impression? Underage
Chat? Best of the group
Personality? Mike Wazowski
2nd date? Marriage?
Annabelle Barker, First year, History, New
Dating is a dangerous and confusing endeavour which leaves me utterly baffled. So when Honor asked if I wanted to join her on a double blind date, I decided to master my fear, and dive into this scary new world. Looking back, I’m none the wiser. Honor and I arrived first, and having grabbed our drinks, we sat down and waited. And waited. Finally, we heard panting coming from the entrance, and turned to see a bespectacled duo, red faced and slightly disheveled, clatter into the pub. Right, I thought, here we go. After the classic “what college?” and “what subject?” niceties lasted as long as they could, the conversation soon descended to the level of Honor’s abysmal chat, with stories of burned hands failing to capture the interest of either James or Matt. After James resorted to googling blind date questions to save the situation (including “Have you ever struggled with your weight?” and “What was your name again?”) I really felt that he and I had a spark. Yet my hopes were dashed when he mentioned the dreaded G-word. I had always thought that being in a relationship was a bit of an obstacle to successful dating but what do I know? All in all, I think it went quite well.
Annbelle on James
First impression? Needs a haircut
Chat? Don’t think he’s heard of it
Personality? Hope it improves with age
2nd date? If he brings his girlfriend
Matt Roller, First year, PPE, Exeter
I arrived at the Turf flustered and late after a sunny afternoon spent demolishing Corpus in cricket cuppers, and my worst fear was instantly realised when I thought I had been stood up on a Cherwell blind date. But James arrived soon after, and, making better use of the Life editor’s questionable descriptive power than I had, my concerns were soon eased. The conversation flowed very smoothly more or less from the outset, as we discovered mutual interests in Hassan’s, pubmaster, and criticising James’ ‘bant’. I was instantly impressed by Honor and Annabelle’s discussion of the alcohol:cost ratio of their ciders—what quality is more attractive than frugality?—as well as their ability to conceal a pair of post-Keble Ball hangovers. Luckily, it transpired that Annabelle’s frequent requests to be ‘cuffed’ were down to a Blues hockey phrase, rather than an early revelation of a taste for S&M, and I left in high spirits after an enjoyable evening.
Matt on Annabelle
First impression? Stash
Chat? Hit and miss
Personality? Rich and multilayered
2nd date? Woi
James Lamming, First year, Classics, Exeter
It was the best of dates, it was the worst of dates. On the one hand, Honor is far and away the most fantastic and passionately platonic date I have ever had. On the other, our fellow daters hit it off so singularly and fervently that Honor and I were left in the dust. Although witty, charming and clever, and blessed by a breathtaking ability to consistently deliver punchlines, no amount of chat could make up for the sexual tension between Annabelle and Matt. While Annabelle beckoned Matt with her best come-hither eyes and inane hockey chat, Honor and I chatted in a relaxed and amicable manner. When Matt and Annabelle began lustily making out on the Turf tavern table, Honor and I moved on to a discussion of our courses. When Annabelle literally begged Matt to handcuff her in the kinkiest manner, Honor and I went to Itsu.
James on Honor
First impression? Fishy
Personality? Far too much
2nd date? If my girlfriend lets me