Oxford's oldest student newspaper

Independent since 1920

Just another night at Bridge

If a man idled up to you and asked for directions to Bridge, no doubt your first reaction would be to direct him to the nightclub and recommend that he attend on a Thursday night. Not I. “To Room 23 of Balliol College” would be my advice. For this is where one might find the little known Oxford University Contract Bridge Association.
But I would add a footnote advising caution upon entry to Room 23, because on my own first visit there I was thoroughly shaken by the experience waiting beyond that door.
On entry there were not the rows of genial card-loving sportsmen that I had anticipated. Neither were there the sounds of carefree background chatter and light Chopin from the cassette-player. There was before me, a sea of bridge-obsessed sharks, not on the pull, but looking to devour any mistakes or misdemeanours with their fiercely logical minds.
My partner and I lowered ourselves shakily into our chairs and hesitatingly greeted our opponents. I was too overcome with fear to catch the man on my left’s name but looking him over he could surely only be known as ‘the Iceman.’
What at first seemed to be an all-in-one ski suit was in fact a three-piece beige suit, obediently clinging to his body. His hair was short and straight, his hands cruel and bony. But it was his eyes that scared me most. On the surface they were cool and focused, but underneath there burned a fiery gaze that even Sauron would have been proud of.
My partner, not having yet seen the look on the Iceman’s face, tried a quick joke to ease the tension:
“So is there a film night here? Bet you guys would enjoy watching Bridget Jones’ Diary…”
A silence ensued like no other. It was the biggest silence I have ever seen, let alone heard, in my lifetime.
A look of hatred, disgust and insult distorted the Iceman’s face, but there was also a small pang of pity for the individual who had attempted this meagre play on words. Recoiling, my partner and I retreated to the foyer for a Nice biscuit and cup of Sainsbury’s Diet Lemonade and discussed whether our desire to indulge in a pleasant card game was strong enough to re-enter. Sufficiently energised by the sugary snacks we kept on, and actually enjoyed a match against someone who did not outwardly display any signs that he loathed us. This was nice.
I would still recommend to any passerby a visit to Oxford’s premier card playing association. A game of talent, practice and finesse, Bridge deserves coverage in all major Sports publications. If you enjoy cards and can avoid the Iceman then you are sure to enjoy your evening at OUCBA.

Check out our other content

Most Popular Articles